1.
Girls nowadays are very polite and filial. The first thing they say to chat is to ask my family!
I just met with a girl on the street.
I said, "Hello, can you talk?"
The girl said, "Talking to your mother"
2.
I caught a cold today and was about to go to the hospital for an injection.
When I arrived at the hospital, the nurse asked me to expose my butt and apply some alcohol.
I asked, "Why do you need to apply alcohol to your butt!"
Nurse: "Because that won't hurt."
I replied with a bitter face, "But why does my butt still hurt so much."
Nurse pondered for a little, and said, "That may be because your butt has a lot of alcohol!"
3
I am only 1.7 meters tall, but my classmates insisted on recommending me to the school basketball team.
This day, playing against a group of big men who are 1.9 meters tall.
I saw my opponent's 1.93-meter-long defender turn around and put me in armpit .
I dare not be angry either, for fear that others will say that I am in a state of trouble.
4.
Turtle and snail are good neighbors.
The turtle had a fever that day, so I asked the snail brother next door to help me buy some cold medicine.
After waiting for a long time...
The turtle cursed weakly before the snail came back, and said, "
"TMD, if I don't come back, I will die."
Unexpectedly, the snail's angry voice came from outside the door:
"TMD, if you scold again, I won't go."
5.
When I was in high school, a female classmate was injured in her leg and it was inconvenient to walk.
Because she and I were on the way, sometimes I would take her bicycle to carry her.
Just like this, two months passed. One day she suddenly came to my ear and whispered:
"Would you like to carry me like this for the rest of your life?"
I was angry when I heard this and looked at her and said:
"I said it only two months, only two months, and I still want me to carry you for the rest of your life, dreaming."
6.
Due to the epidemic in the past two years, the supermarket business has been very good.
When I went to the supermarket to buy things that day, I was ready to queue up to check out.
At this time, a big man shouted at me fiercely: "Please squeeze a few times."
I stretched out two fingers and said weakly: "One"
7.
I accompanied my wife to the hospital for examination this day.
, after a long queue, we were finally approaching, and there was an old man in front of him.
Uncle said there was something wrong with his intestines.
Doctor html asked, "Does the bowel movements be regular every day?"
Uncle: "It's very regular, defecate on time at 8 o'clock every morning."
Doctor till you say, "That's great! Is there any other problem?"
Uncle said with a bitter face: "The problem is that I get up at nine o'clock every day!"