1. When you don’t want to go to work, check the bank card balance. 2. I always feel that my personality is not suitable for work, but I am suitable for getting a salary. 3. There are only two things that make people feel troubled, one is the salary that cannot be raised, and the

1. When you don’t want to go to work, check the bank card balance.

2. I always feel that my personality is not suitable for work, but I am suitable for pay.

3. There are only two things that make people feel troubled, one is the salary that cannot be raised, and the other is the weight that cannot be lowered.

4. It is suitable for travel on sunny days and is suitable for sleeping on rainy days. There is no one for working in the long years.

5. Before the exam, Xiaohong told Xiaoming that if you can get the first place in the class this time, I will be your girlfriend. The whole class heard it. After the test paper was handed out, everyone silently put down their pens and planned to hand over the blank paper. Xiao Ming's eyes were filled with tears! He glanced at Xiaohong, who was with a tiger back and bear waist, and silently tore off the test paper and ate it... Xiaohong smiled slightly and wrote Xiao Ming's name on his test paper...

6. Me: "Oh, I saw you running to the hospital in a panic on Sunday. Are you seeing a doctor or your family is sick?"

Colleague: "Oh, I feel uncomfortable one day?"

Me: "Oh, what's wrong with this strong man like on weekdays?"

Colleague: "Understanding."

7. There is a child downstairs in my house who has always loved to sing Lu Binghua recently. One day, I started singing again: "The stars in the sky..." I shouted in time: "About Beidou!" The child has not yet found a callback!

8. The mother-in-law called her husband and said angrily: I've smashed it, I haven't called me for so long...

was talking, but the phone was broken.

My husband called back twice and then hung up when it is connected.

finally reached the third time, and my husband said helplessly: Mom, what kind of broken phone are you?

Mother-in-law: Finally, I found that my phone was broken, so hurry up and buy me a new one...

9. A man squeezed onto the train and saw a beautiful woman sitting in his seat. He checked his tickets and said politely, "Are you sitting in the wrong position?" The beauty said, "Are you blind?" The beauty took out the ticket and almost put it on the man's face, shouting, "Look clearly! This is my seat." The man looked at her ticket carefully, without saying a word. The beauty crossed her legs and said disdainfully, "I'm young and I'm learning to pick up a conversation!" The man stopped responding and silently retreated to the beauty. Soon, he saw the train start and said to the beauty: "Beauty, you are not in the wrong seat, but you are in the wrong train...

10. A mentally ill patient always thought he was a mouse, and finally recovered under the treatment of a doctor. On the day he was discharged from the hospital, the doctor sent him to the door, and suddenly a cat ran towards him. He was frightened and his face was shocked. The doctors asked him strangely: "You are no longer a mouse, why are you still afraid of cats? "He said: "I know I'm not a mouse, but does a cat know? ”

11. The ex-girlfriend called: “Is it convenient to speak? "I glanced at my girlfriend next to me and said, "Oh, I haven't eaten yet. . "The other party said again: "Then I'll wait for your convenience and call me again." "I smiled and said, "It will take eight o'clock to prepare the meal!" "After hanging up the phone, my girlfriend found out who was asking me about the phone number, and I said, "My ex-girlfriend's! "She glared at me: "I hate it, I'm teasing me again, it must be your mother! ”

12. The son took a candy and put it into his father's mouth, and asked expectantly: "Dad, is the candy sweet? "

Dad was so moved and said with tears in his eyes: "Sweet! ”

The son said again: “Then why don’t the dog eat it? How many times have you vomited? "

13. I took a taxi and felt something was wrong halfway, so I said to my master: "Hey, I never walked this road before taking a taxi? "The master said calmly: "They have their choices, I have my choices, and you will always reach your goal. But if you choose me, you have to take this path. "For the first time I feel so literary.