"The wedding night in the bridal chamber, when the gold list is inscribed" is probably the best time for every man. The reason why the ancients put marriage at the top of the four great joys in life, apart from the fact that it was related to the relatively young age of marriage at that time, another deep meaning was that in the ancient thinking, men should first get married and then start a career.
There are many folk sayings about marriage, such as "Don't seek to avoid famine girls, don't marry living wives", which is very warning. Is this prejudice? Why are these two rejected?
Men who avoid famine when marrying wives and living wives are not the best candidates to marry. Because of marrying these two types of women, there will be a lot of trouble after marriage, and the experience of the ancestors cannot be ignored.
First, what is a famine avoider?
Farmers living in ancient societies have always adhered to the natural survival rule of being close to eating. Therefore, once they encounter floods, droughts, and insects, they will easily starve because of no harvest.
In order to survive, they had to leave their homes and flee to places where they can find food to eat. This behavior is called "avoidance of famine", which means to avoid famine.
and the women who are trapped in the famine-escape crowd are famine-escape women. They can do whatever they want in order to mix and eat. Although such a woman can easily arouse people's sympathy because of miserable experiences, many men in the society at that time shunned it. Why did this happen? There are two main reasons for
in general. First, the identity of the women who avoid famine is easy to doubt, and whether they are married or not, all of which are difficult to understand.
If they are already married as women and are the mothers of several children, then marrying her home under this prerequisite, I am afraid that she will not only not feel at ease to live with herself, but will even have a lot of trouble.
From another point of view, the ancients paid special attention to the taboo of "I would rather demolish ten temples than a marriage". Once you marry a married woman who avoids famine, then you will break up a family, which is not authentic because of reason.
Secondly, in order to solve the temporary difficulties, the famine avoidant girl will sing with your husband on the surface, but she will definitely slip away after a while.
Although we cannot treat a gentleman's heart with a villain's heart, in that very chaotic era, although the heart of harm is not possible, the heart of defense is indispensable.
In addition, marrying a famine girl hastily, there is also a suspicion of taking advantage of the danger, so no matter from which perspective, the famine girl is not suitable for his wife.
Second, why can't the wives of living men marry?
The fate of women in feudal society is very miserable. Even a princess or a rich girl has no way to control their own destiny. Not only do they have no right to choose marriage, but they are also oppressed after marriage.
Even if the marriage is not happy, women have no right to divorce. Even if they are driven out of the house by their husbands, or after their husbands die, they can only stand by their widows.
If you look at the "living man's wife" from this perspective, I believe everyone has understood its meaning. To put it bluntly, it is a divorced woman in modern society. In ancient society, living wives were basically women divorced by their husbands.
Even if she did not commit one of the crimes in the "Seven Outs", as long as her in-laws or husband are not satisfied, she can go out at any time.
is not like women in modern society at all, because modern women have the right to choose their marriage independently, and they also have the right to divorce according to their personal wishes. To put it plainly, if two people feel that it is inappropriate to be together, or that some irreconcilable conflicts occur, then women can also ask for divorce at any time, and they can also find the next harbour.
But the fate of the wives of living men in ancient society was very tragic, because a woman who was divorced by her in-laws would definitely leave a bad reputation. Even if they didn't do anything extraordinary, they would still be the sufferer.
A man living in the society at that time would never marry a living wive unless he was a bachelor or had a physical disability. Because women in feudal society must abide by the promise of serving one husband forever. If
is "a girl and two husbands", she will be considered a woman who does not love herself. In an era when men’s status is particularly high, the land of living wivesThe position is as low as a maid, and sometimes even worse than a maid who has not been out of the cabinet.
Conclusion
Generally speaking, although this old saying is reasonable, it also has stereotyped biases. With the continuous development of society and the continuous updating of concepts, the status of women is getting higher and higher.
Especially in modern society, women can not only hold up half of the sky, but they are even the backbone in some families. And the living conditions are getting better and better, so I can't see the famine-free girl at all.
As the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, the number of living wives is increasing, but many men have changed their old ideas, they will not dislike living wives at all. As long as they love each other and have the willingness to live together, they can enter the marriage palace happily.
