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Text: Shili
Illustration: From the Internet
"Today is Wednesday, we must eat stir-fried cauliflower, we can not eat any other dishes", have you encountered this situation in your marriage? That is, at a certain time point, a certain thing must be done. Since Lao Zhang and his wife have been married for so many years, cauliflower must be eaten every Wednesday. This is among all the rules laid down by the wife before the marriage. One.
As for why he has to eat cauliflower on Wednesday, Lao Zhang doesn't know, anyway, he can eat it himself. In fact, in Lao Zhang’s marriage, there are many similar size regulations. For example, you must drink a glass of plain water every morning before getting up. If you don’t drink it, you can’t eat.
At first, Lao Zhang didn’t understand, because there were some conflicts with his wife, but then he gradually got used to it. This behavior seemed incomprehensible to others, and Lao Zhang silently followed it every day. , Even if there are 100 unwillings in his heart, he won't say anything anymore, after all, he let his wife every day. What kind of behavior is
like the old wife of Zhang? Some people would say is it an obsessive-compulsive disorder? In fact, it looks a bit similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder on the surface, but if you go deeper and use a fashionable term, it is a rigid behavior.
The so-called rigid behavior is to deal with some things, always like to use the same method to deal with, and will not learn to adapt. If this kind of rigid behavior is used in marriage, it may become a little bit incomprehensible, especially for young men and women just getting along, if one of them has rigid behavior, the other is absolutely I can't stand it.
Is rigid behavior a disease?
Is this kind of behavior like a mental illness, or is there some extreme thoughts? In fact, in a strict sense, this kind of rigid behavior is not a mental illness, but just the way certain people treat certain things. To be frank, it's like what style of clothes people like to wear. People who deal with this rigid behavior always have their own set of theories and methods.
Liu Dali’s wife actually has this kind of rigid behavior, but it is much lighter than Lao Zhang’s wife. There is only one thing, that is, regardless of the cold and hot, you must wear it every day. Red socks, thicker socks in winter and thinner socks in summer, but the color is red without exception.
asked the reason, and his wife replied that since he was a child, he believed in a principle that red can bring good luck to himself, so he should put on a pair of red socks on his feet. Without the red socks, Lao Zhang's wife would be fidgeting, and there would be a trace of anxiety in her heart.
In fact, most people make more or less rigid behavioral mistakes in their lives. To do a certain thing, you must use a specific method, and what you say must be in a specific tone, no matter what All must be carried out in accordance with a certain code of conduct.
If you do not follow the past experience and methods once you do certain things, you will definitely feel uncomfortable, and in serious cases will be furious. I believe that many people will encounter the other party asking them to do something more or less in their marriage and love, and how they must do it. In the process of doing it, they must strictly follow the other party’s requirements and do the same every time. The same method is used for everything, but this is actually a rigid behavior in the legendary meaning. What are the types of
rigid behavior?
During the blind date three months ago, Xiao Liu met a very rigid boy. After the two met at the agreed place, they sat there in embarrassment for a long time. Xiao Liu waited for the boy to ask for some information. The boy didn't speak at all. At first he thought he was embarrassed, but after getting along for a while, Xiao Liu slowly discovered that the boy was too rigid.
If it's not for Xiao Liu who wants to find an honest friendBoys are not willing to interact with this kind of boy. Compared with the more honest boy, this kind of boy is not called honest at all, but too rigid.
Actually, in the process of marriage and love, there are two types of rigid behaviors, one is rigid behavior, and the other is rigid behavior in the heart. The rigid behavior in behavior means that when you do a certain thing, you must do it in a certain way. The rigid behavior in your heart is manifested in dealing with people. No matter what you do, you will not be positive. initiative.
In fact, no matter what kind of rigid behavior, it will definitely make the other party feel uncomfortable. Of course, if you like the other party deliberately, you will be too careless to treat this kind of rigid behavior. However, for young women and girls who have just met, if one party has a rigid behavior in behavior, it can be tolerated in the past, but if there is an inner rigidity, it may not be easy to accept, after all, this will seriously affect the two people's Associate.
Therefore, for some young men and women, you must deliberately observe whether you have this kind of inner rigid behavior. After all, this will seriously affect interpersonal communication, let alone interact with the half you like. Can
's rigid behavior be corrected? Can
be corrected? In fact, in a marriage and relationship process, it is more important for two people to understand and respect each other. If the other person does not have too many rigid behaviors, there is no need to completely correct them. After all, this is just another person's living habits.
To give a simple example, like a person brushing his teeth, he always likes to brush his teeth first and then brush his lower teeth. If you have to correct him to brush his teeth first, he will be very uncomfortable. And use your own behavior standards to correct the other half's rigid behavior. Think about it in another way. Did you also make the mistake of this rigid behavior?
is like some small rigid behavior, the impact is not too serious, let him go, as long as the other party is happy, he will become happy. However, if there are some more serious rigid behaviors, or even behaviors that seriously affect the happiness of marriage and family life, as the other half of the marriage, it is the responsibility and obligation to help the other party to correct it gradually.
If it is a rigid behavior, it can be said that it is better to correct it, but if it is a rigid ideology, it is more difficult to correct it. A person’s heart has grown up from a small to large inertia, and this Habitual thinking is really hard to correct for a while, and it can only be changed and melted slowly by the feelings of the two people.
is actually like Lao Zhang’s wife eating cauliflower. If you can’t eat cauliflower on Wednesday, you can eat it on Thursday. Why do you have to eat it on Wednesday? But the lovely old Zhang is not willing to care about these things, because if he excessively asks his wife to change this life habit, then he is equivalent to making this mistake.
Two people know each other and love each other. More importantly, they must understand each other, correct each other's mistakes, and make progress together. Only in this way can they reach the height of marriage and love. Staying together is not just a need to talk about love, but more importantly, to improve each other through the support of the relationship between the two, so as to achieve the warming of the relationship between the two and make them better The progress of the two people will be the basis for the two to run the family together after they get married and start a business.
Nowadays, everyone in the society is more open. In the process of marriage and love, the better requirement is that the other party can be more lively and cheerful, and have more freedom in dealing with people, rather than tightly grasping a certain aspect. put.
Be lively and cheerful in your heart, be more liberal in your behavior, and maintain an attitude of mutual respect, mutual understanding, and mutual friendliness. No matter what you do, you must respect each other’s wishes and don’t look at certain things. Too rigid.
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Today’s topic: "Do you think it is right"?
