emotions are flowers awakened in memory, blooming silently in the night of the soul.
Love is an important lesson in life, and it is also an eternal theme that we have been exploring. Both men and women are yearning for beautiful and sweet love. Psychologists have made detailed scientific research on the way of love, and found that if two people love each other and follow the laws of psychology, they can approach their own happiness step by step. Love is not impossible to grasp. If you understand a little love psychology and know what your lover thinks, you can easily capture your lover's heart and keep your love fresh all the time.
"Complete Collection of Love Psychology" combined with contemporary problems of marriage and love to do a deep psychological analysis, in which there is a psychological analysis of boys in love, the following is a combination of some specific narration of the book.
men and women are very complicated animals. But in general, men’s thinking is straight and rarely turns. Understanding boys in love from this perspective can better help us understand their inner thoughts.
1. A man’s "hero complex" is born with
. In most men's minds, oneself should be a strong image of iron, and a woman should be a weak posture of Xiaoniaoyi.
When in love, a man's natural mission is to care for little women. Men enjoy the feeling of being needed by women and think that it is a very happy thing. They are always happy to do many things for their beloved women.
Therefore, a smart woman must know to show her weakness at the right time.
In Chi Zijian's novel "Chang Chuan", Ji Xi is a very strong woman. It is precisely because of her ability that she is too strong to discourage men, she will inevitably be lonely.
Boys are born with a heroic complex. No matter how weak a man is, he hopes to show his strong side in front of women to satisfy his desire for protection.
So smart women should learn to show weakness in front of men. This is a kind of satisfaction for men's dignity and vanity, and it will make him love you more. Of course, this kind of obedience is not bottomless.
2. Men are born to belong to the "Appearance Association"
"The love of beauty, everyone has." Men and women are visual animals, good-looking looks can often attract the opposite sex, especially for men.
John Gray, a well-known expert on gender emotion in the United States, divides the emotional attraction between men and women into four levels:
, for men, is followed by physical attraction, emotional attraction, spiritual attraction, and soul attraction; for women , In turn are the attraction of the spirit, the attraction of the emotion, the attraction of the body, and the attraction of the soul. This wonderful difference between men and women of
can be reflected in marriage advertisements:
men like to boast about their sense of responsibility and financial strength, and they know what women need;
women who want to marry, sometimes just a beautiful photo is enough. ——They also know what men value most. Many boys who fall in love with
are looking for a beautiful girlfriend. They all hope that their girlfriend is beautiful, but they don't want others to possess them, and they only belong to themselves.
3. When men are accustomed to seeking relief in the "cave"
are in love, and quarrels are inevitable. At this time, girls need to know: When a man is in a bad mood, he always keeps his thoughts in his heart and rarely talks to others. They always like to solve problems on their own, and only turn to others for help when there is really no way.
This is what John Gray called the "cave" in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".
"Cave" is the "hidden place" of a man's spiritual world, and a spiritual sanctuary for him to retreat and rest. Here, nothing disturbs him, he can repeatedly consider and weigh the problem in order to get a solution as soon as possible. In the end, men often see the light in the cave and find a way out, so as to relieve the burden and return to life.
Some girls do not understand the psychological characteristics of boys, thinking that boys ignore her and make a lot of noise, but the relationship between the two parties is very stiff.
When boys hide in their "caves", what girls need is care and warmth, understand him, help him solve problems early, instead of complaining to each other.
4. Falling in love, sometimes because of a man’s desire for power
In life, we often hear men say that they are looking for a girlfriend. The standard for falling in love is to hope that the other person can be "obedient." This idea of men is actuallyIt was his desire for power.
In this world, men have long been in the dominant position. This makes men potentially, even innately, have a desire to dominate and conquer, and this desire will inevitably lead to the pursuit of power.
However, the finite nature of the position of power and the infinite nature of the men chasing this post make the vast majority of men become the losers of the pursuit, so they have a morbid mentality; and even the winners must be in the process of pursuing After all kinds of struggles and crusades, they are also prone to sickness. Therefore, it is not surprising that men will become pathological power seekers.
Generally speaking, the desire for power arises from the awareness of one's own superiority in power, whether this power refers to physical or mental capabilities.
In addition, the pursuit of power may also be related to certain specific factors, such as family, political or professional groups, hometown or motherland, certain religious or scientific ideas, etc.
However, men’s pathological pursuit of power usually comes from anxiety, hatred and feelings of inferiority.
A girl who satisfies the boy's desire for power in a timely manner can help the relationship between two people to further develop, but if the boy's desire for power has reached a morbid level, it is better for such a person to stay away.
5. A man in love has a child-like side.
has a saying: "A man is a teenager until he dies." To a certain extent,
shows that a man is full of vigor, and it also reflects that boys are full of vigor. Childishness is widespread.
No matter how powerful a man is, he will have a child-like side, especially in front of the person he likes.
Sometimes a man is like a chattering child; sometimes like an innocent and curious child; sometimes like a squeamish and spoiled child; sometimes like a wronged child.
"Cry man, cry, it's not a sin." This lyrics sang the voice of many men.
No matter how old men are, they always have a desire for women's love.
Freud proposed the "Oedipus complex". Boys have children's attachment to the mother of the opposite sex. Some boys fall in love to find this feeling.
When a man is in love, he will take on his own responsibilities, but when he is alone with his beloved girl, he also hopes to receive the love and compassion of his loved one.
Remember, a man has a child deep in his heart. When in love, a girl must learn to comfort the naive naughty ghost in his heart.
6. A man who truly loves you always "loves you in my heart"
women must understand that it is very difficult for a man who truly loves you to say the three words "I love you".
If you come into contact with a man, and soon put these three words on your lips, you must be careful, because he may not care about you at all, just want to get you as soon as possible.
So, why are these three words so difficult for a man to utter?
One is that he is afraid of being rejected because he cares about you in his heart, so he takes this matter very seriously, even if you have repeatedly hinted that he He would still feel uneasy; besides, he thought it was ridiculous to say such things to women.
In short, this has nothing to do with the relationship between the two parties, it is purely a man's personality.
The self-esteem of men makes them not want to get negative feedback after expressing their love, and at the same time, they are afraid that they will not be able to make a promise to love someone.
Therefore, the more I love the person, the less dare to express my true love in my heart.
Girls in love always like boys to express their love to her, but you must be careful not to force them to express their love. Generally speaking, boys who really love someone, they are very cautious in using the word "love". Forcing them to repeat their expressions again and again will make him feel that girls don't really believe in themselves, and mistrust will cause them pain.
Seven, the "love master" among boys, the logic behind the "confusing behavior"
1. Don't rush to call back
When in love, boys often don't call back, sometimes they don't see it, sometimes they are playing games , Sometimes I just don’t want to return, but it’s not that I don’t love you anymore.
When a boy asks for a girl’s WeChat and phone number, she may not be contacted when she strikes up a conversation. The movie "Daddy" mentions the rule of "call back after three days". The rule for men is that as long as they can bear it, they will not respond first. phone.
However, men will also postpone calling due to laziness. They do not have the same urgency as women. He does not regard it as important to get your phone number.
A man wants your contact information, only to prove that he may contact you, not sure.
In short, a woman should not take the phone too seriously. It is better to do something else to enrich yourself than to keep a phone that never rings.
2. Often "evaporate"
Some boys in love sometimes deliberately "evaporate". This is a psychological tactic for girls. They use this method to slap girls' appetite and maintain a sense of mystery.
Some boys can’t think of contacting girls because they are relatively straightforward. It's not that they don't care about girls anymore. This is another situation that needs attention.
3. Don’t make promises easily. Some men in love do not make trouble for themselves in order not to take responsibility, so they don’t make promises easily and leave plenty of room for themselves.
When treating such a man, women should not have illusions about him. A man who is afraid of taking responsibility should not marry. You can be friends with him, but it is best not to have other ideas. Otherwise, his non-commitment will keep you Insecure.
People who really want to be with you for a long time will take you to see his family and bear the pain and happiness with you, instead of just bluffing.
Some boys don't make promises easily because they value the relationship too much and feel that they can't give the other person the future they want. This situation is another matter.
4. Sweet talks
Women in love are often overwhelmed by the sweet talks of men and are very excited.
Women expect men to tell them the truth, but men often say things that please women just to cater to women. Because they know that their sweet words will be richly rewarded, they will not waste their tongues for nothing, their sweet words often have a certain purpose.
Therefore, for the sweet words of men, women must be able to distinguish between the truth and falsehoods, distinguish them according to his performance when speaking, and don't be confused by
's words.
5. Breaking up without contact
Many women often encounter this situation. The person in love hasn't contacted them for a long time, and they used to call themselves and said they were busy and didn't have time.
waited until you hung up and he stopped contacting you, and finally realized that the other party wanted to break up with you. This method of
is very concealed. In order to avoid direct conflicts, avoid the entanglement of the rabbit and the woman, and avoid the painful situation of meeting, breaking up in this way avoids discussing with women why they broke up and avoid seeing women’s tears. I am helpless, so many men tend to adopt this method.
8. When in love, learn to see through the influence of men’s jealousy
on historical factors, coupled with the deliberate propaganda of men, that women are more jealous than men, has become a universally recognized fact.
actually hides an ulterior secret behind this conventional judgment: men deliberately make such remarks to cover up men's jealousy more than women.
When women are so jealous, most of them don't evade, while men cover up. Pretending to be nonchalant, so the "vinegar" was secretly hidden from the man, venting outward through other channels.
In fact, love is selfish. It is normal for men and women to be jealous.
Men are jealous, even if they don’t want to admit it verbally. Because "vinegar" and "love" are twins, they are born at the same time. Men behave in many forms when they are jealous, but one thing is the same, that is, most of them like to act immediately after being jealous.
The fiance in "Titanic" became jealous because of Rose's empathy, "put the heart of the sea" into Jack's pocket, and then blame him; the husband in "True Lies", In order to track down the man who was dating his wife, he used a helicopter and a polygraph...
When a man’s "vinegar" waves are surging and uncontrollable, but he has to take care of the man’s demeanor, he has to use another method. Express it. In other words, let this wave of vinegar make a few turns in the belly first, and then take the opportunity to vent it.
In fact, men tend to be more jealous than women, because for a man, the thing he fears most is being cuckold." If a girlfriend isIf a person is taken away, he will feel that his face is lost and faceless to see others.
So men will be more concerned and more sensitive in this regard, but their expressions usually make the relationship between each other go from bad to worse.
Love needs two people to work hard together, mutual understanding can further deepen the relationship, I hope everyone can have a sweet love!
