once said a sentence in seven years: "We are still too young to understand the world, with blind trust or blind distrust." When
was young, many people's attitudes towards love were full of blindness. Trust.
is like liking someone at the age of 17, thinking that liking is the reason two people are together, and it should be the only reason two people are together.
Therefore, facing a person who likes each other, it seems to have gained the power to resist everything, thinking that love will overcome everything, thinking that enough love can make two people have an end.
But when you grow up, you will understand that it's really nothing to like someone.
Especially when two people are not suitable, and when they have to be together, liking is actually a kind of "pain"; when two people have no ending, and when they force the ending, liking is a kind of "dragging each other."
After all, for adults, in addition to love is important, life is also very important, and whether they can get along with each other is more important.
Therefore, the likes of adults tend to have more restraint than the likes of young people. Even if you like one person, you don't have to be with the other person.
[一]
is not all likes, can have a good ending, already an adult, the way to be responsible for feelings is to choose someone who can have an ending to love.
Strictly speaking, liking is just a feeling, even a feeling for no reason.
is like Yi Shu once liked a person, that person is an unknown painter named Cai Haoquan.
I want to say how handsome Cai Haoquan looks, but in fact he is not, just a very ordinary boy, and Cai Haoquan's family background is as ordinary as his looks.
At that time, many people advised Yishu not to be with Cai Haoquan, because the life of the two people was really difficult to maintain, but Yishu was moved, but at the age of 17, she insisted on marrying each other.
For girls at this age, they were originally full of illusions about love, thinking that love can overcome everything, after all, that person is the one she loves.
However, the ending of the two is not very good.
has only been married for three years. Yishu also gave birth to a child, but proposed to separate. The reason for the separation is simply that there is no way to maintain her life, and she doesn't want to have such a hard life. Is it wrong to say
?
is really right, everyone has the right to choose their own life, but for Cai Haoquan and her children, she was wrong.
When adults want to maintain their love, they can maintain their lives as a prerequisite. Only when they can see the life of two people and dare to be together can they be considered qualified to be together.
is not all likes that can be happy with each other, and not all likes are just perfect.
Sometimes, what you need to face when you like a person may be that the two people's family backgrounds do not match, or the three views are inconsistent, or more likely that the future plans are different.
When you can understand these unsuitable places and really end the relationship between two people, you will become more rational when you want to love someone.
Adult love has experienced irrational separation, and then learned how to restrain one's feelings. Because like it, it doesn't mean anything. At most, it means that you are moved by a person and you appreciate a person.
[II]
When you hope that the relationship will have results, liking should not be the only reason for love. People who know how to choose and find love are more likely to be happy. Lin Yutang, the master of Chinese studies, once experienced an unforgettable relationship.
At that time, he was in love with Chen Jinduan. The relationship between the two was so good that they had planned to spend a lifetime with each other, and never thought about being with other people.
However, when Lin Yutang went to visit Chen's house, Chen Jinduan's parents refused the marriage. They told Lin Yutang that Chen Jinduan had been betrothed to someone else.
The Chen family’s parents would say this, only because they didn’t care about Lin Yutang’s family background.
As an adult, Lin Yutang knows how important it is for the relationship to get the consent of his parents, so he didn't ask Chen Jinduan what he meant, so he broke up with him. After
broke up, Lin Yutang cried for a long time in front of his mother, and then participatedThe family arranged a blind date, and he met Liao Cuifeng at that time. The reason
and Liao Cuifeng are together is very simple. Both parents agree, and Liao Cuifeng agrees, and he already feels that it makes no difference who he lives with.
But that's how to beat a true marriage and maintain it for a lifetime, because Lin Yutang knows how to maintain marriage and how to cultivate love in marriage. After
and Liao Cuifeng got married, he was busy earning money to support the family, and Liao Cuifeng handled housework very well.
He found that Liao Cuifeng was worthy of his own love and was a qualified wife, so he was very kind to Liao Cuifeng. Until the 50th anniversary of his marriage, Lin Yutang gave his wife a love poem.
Adult love requires a lot of consideration and a lot of care. When you want a happy marriage, you have to live your life and take care of your family.
And the person who can only accompany you in love, but cannot live with you, will eventually be separated from you in the crowd, so choose a person who is willing to go on with himself, and he is willing to go with the other person, is the end The key to life.
Because many marriages come to the end, it is nothing more than a phrase "young couples and old companions". Like or dislike, it is not so important, but it is not so important.
[3]
In "Ode to Joy", when Fan Shengmei and Wang Baichuan broke up, she dragged her heavy luggage back to Shanghai alone, in an empty room, through a few faint light.
At this time, an out-of-picture sound was heard, and a helpless voice said: "Z1z
are all adults. Instead of confronting each other and embarrassing each other, it is better to take the initiative to walk away to avoid humiliation. If you are sincere, take action. Women of this age should understand. The language is pale."
Want to say that Fan Shengmei is sad?
is really sad. The relationship of several years ended in this way. The man who thought he could wait his life chose to protect himself at the most critical time.
But in the life of an adult, there is not only love, but love is no longer everything.
When one person cannot meet your needs, when two people's needs do not match, saying goodbye to each other is the best way to leave.
When two people can really be together, there is no need to be too embarrassed with each other, and when love can have an ending, there is no need to push the plot.
Therefore, if the feelings have an ending without ending, they can only let go. After all, if the feelings of adults are not like, they must be together, let alone like, they can be together.
