Many times,
we get lost in the river of appearance,
and forget what life is.
Two days ago, something triggered a discussion on the whole network. At present, at least 2 billion people and are watching on all major social platforms. The
thing itself is not complicated at all:
has a man and a woman who broke up and quarreled on the street at night.
The man cried and said, "I have been with you for two years. Your family wants 300,000 gifts and a 1.5 million room. Can you still make people live?" , Slapped the woman's head with her hand. After
hit someone, he was sitting on the roadside steps alone, crying emotionally: The
woman has been in love with him for almost two years, and he has come to the stage of marriage.
The woman’s family proposed that if they get married, the man must buy an apartment for 1.5 million.
Because buying a house was just needed, the man's family gritted their teeth and pooled the money to buy it.
But after the house was bought, the woman's family offered another 300,000 bride price.
This time, the man is gone, and many consultations with the woman's family have failed, so he has to break up. When
was frustrated, the boy also changed jobs and wanted to cut the past and restart his life.
However, what he didn't expect was that the woman's family would become angry and retaliate against the man who regretted the marriage. For more than 4 months after the two broke up, the woman's family gathered relatives and friends, found the men's company many times, and fought against the men. This should be true of
.
Because, in the video, the man hysterically said, "I owe your family, I can't get rid of it anyway." The woman responded: "They beat you, not me." The
video was not very clear. The man's dialect was heavy and his emotions were out of control. Individual facts have yet to be verified.
However, there are two details that make me feel uncomfortable:
first, it must be wrong to hit someone. After this man hit his ex-girlfriend, he sat on the steps and cried, which made me feel very sad.
Second, even if she was beaten, the girl did not fight back. She leaned on the steps, elbows her head, and looked at her ex-boyfriend with a sad look.
Two years of youth love, was distracted by a bride price, and was watched in such an extraordinary way, probably this two young people did not want to see. The betrothal event of
, which was watched by 200 million people, sparked discussions and resonance among so many people. The truth behind it is not simple: behind the young couple of
, not only two families are standing, but there is also a secret wave. Marriage market, a wedding custom that has been debated for many years.
Such tragedies are not uncommon everywhere.
In Anyang, Henan, on the wedding night of a couple's bridal chamber, the bridegroom quarreled with the bride over the 110,000 bride price paid and hit the bride to death with a hammer on the spot.
Part of the list of weddings recorded by his family
In Ningling County, Henan Province, a mother jumped into a river and drowned in despair because she could not afford to give her son a 100,000 gift.
In Shaoxing, Fujian, a Sichuan guy named Zhang cut his wrist and tried to commit suicide by jumping into the river because he couldn't afford the 160,000 gift from his girlfriend. Thanks to the police rushing to the scene in time to avoid another disaster.
Speaking of it, getting married is a happy event in life, and the bride price was originally just to give a good omen. What
has is just a happy number, such as "8888", which represents a blessing to the newcomer. Some
will also return to the couple after marriage as a start-up fund for the small family. The result of
has evolved to the present, and it has increasingly become a real burden, even a game between men and women.
The feeling of celebration is getting weaker, and the nature of the transaction is getting stronger. The
betrothal thing has gone bad from the root.
Do you think that a bride price is necessary for marriage? Before
, there was a topic on Weibo on Weibo about whether a wedding must have a betrothal gift. It was read 140 million and 57,000 people participated in the discussion. Eighty-three percent of
voted that the bride price must be required.
netizens said this:It is a custom and a kind of sincerity to give a betrothal gift by
@痘痘
. I think it must be given, otherwise it will be looked down upon by the man in this life.
@谦
wedding gift husband gave 6w parents to 8w. He burst into tears and thanked my parents for willingly marrying me to him. When marrying love, money is not important, but attitude is important.
@皮皮
If getting married is to exchange the full wealth of a man and his parents, I would rather be single for a lifetime. If the amount of the bride price becomes the only touchstone for measuring feelings, then I support the abolition of the bride price. How many gifts
@独白
gives depends on how much the woman is worth.
The year before last, I met a woman who was 1 year younger than me. If it’s the kind of living with a partner, I can live it well, but if I want to say how much I like it, I really don’t. When it comes to getting married, it costs me 200,000. I think it’s too high. I said I can only pay 100,000, the reason is very simple, I don't have to be her.
And my opinion is:
I am not opposed to giving a bride price before marriage.
In the old society, the status of women was relatively low. When a daughter gets married, she has to give birth to her husband's family, but also has to bear part of the labor. At this time, the bride price is equivalent to a one-off discount for this function.
Up to now, the bride price has become a kind of folk custom, mostly symbolic.
Many girls are not really greedy for money, but because of other considerations:
, on the one hand, they want to follow traditional customs and make marriage more ritual; Too little, will make the man feel that he is too "accessible", so that he does not value himself after marriage.
This is all understandable. A proper bride price can bless the couple and also bring a sense of security to the woman. Why not?
But as I just said, the gift must be appropriate, and the sky-high price of the gift is absolutely impossible.
Everyone may have a different definition of "sky price". Some people can give out hundreds of thousands at will, and some people have already emptied their families by tens of thousands. My definition of
is that it is beyond the range of the man’s family, which is the “sky price”.
We are all fortunate that we have met our simple and kind parents, simple and affectionate lovers, and lead a simple and secure life.
The betrothal and marriage are just the beginning.
is down-to-earth and stable.
We don’t have to get lost in the river of appearance and forget the essence of life. There is no need to forget the innermost of life for the sake of so-called face. The
betrothal gift is just a touchstone.
What it tried is our attitude and pattern, as well as the deep and vastness of our hearts.
And these determine who we meet, how we live, and what life we will have.
Part of the material of the article comes from the Internet, invading
