Text/Arbor
1.
I know that I am left by time. I am 38 years old. When I should have gotten married and had children, I did not get married and have children. Instead, I regarded marriage as a burden, so now I deserve to be disliked by others.
I am not as financially confident as other women. I only have an ordinary job and earn enough to pay for my mortgage every month. The remaining money is just enough to support myself.
As others have said, unmarried women can freely go to distant places. I have never been there because I have no money.
To others, my life seems to be a failure. Those women who are not married at least have a good career by their side and a loving boyfriend to accompany them.
I did not live a good life with a house and a car. Instead, I was still struggling to earn some living expenses under the pressure of life.
In addition, I am also older, no older than 38 years old. Men of my age want to marry young girls or rich women. Anyway, they will not be women like me.
Therefore, when people around me introduce blind dates to me, I subconsciously refuse.
I have rejected many blind dates over the years, including a security guard uncle, a second-married man, and someone who is nearly 40 and has not yet married.
Although I have not found a suitable partner in my marriage, my mentality is still good. I would not be able to survive for so many years.
2.
Some time ago, a friend introduced me to another person. I refused at first, but my friend said that this man was not the greasy middle-aged man I know, and he was indeed good.
I decided to meet him with the intention of giving it a try. For me, who is 38 years old, if I can't meet the best man, I would rather not give in, so taking the initiative to meet a man is also giving myself one more chance. Other than that, I have no other ideas.
We met very well. The first impression this man gave me was good. He was not the kind of man who only knows his age but doesn’t know the heights of the world. He was also not the kind of man who would talk a lot when he first came up.
We got to know each other’s basic situation. He had been busy with his career for so many years. He originally had a good girlfriend, but she couldn’t bear his busyness and finally left him.
The man's request for me was very simple. He only made two requests. The requests he made also surprised me. It turns out that the essence of the blind date is almost the same in the end.
What the man means is that because we are all very old, especially me, who is already an older unmarried woman and has missed the best reproductive period, he hopes that we can get married as soon as possible.
Although I am 38 years old and I am anxious to get married, I still feel that two people should know more about each other.
Compared with a long-term single life, entering a marriage for no reason, including not understanding that person, I think this is the tragedy of marriage.
I hope to live a step-by-step life. We cannot speed up the process of getting married just because we are older. In fact, it will be a harm to each other.
The man saw that I refused the request to have a baby soon. He also said that because his parents are old, it would be expensive and hard to hold a wedding in the countryside, so if he and I get married, we will only get a certificate and there will be no wedding.
What he meant was that instead of wasting time and money on banquets, the two of them might as well use the money to travel and get married.
3.
What should I say? I can’t accept either of these two requirements from a man.
First: I will not marry a man in a muddle, have children in a muddle, and add muddle-headed pressure to my life just because I am older.
The more anxious you are, the more calm you must be; the more anxious you are when everyone around you, you must be more assertive and don't be led by others.
A woman who has no independent opinion and is only influenced by men will hardly be happy.
Second: No matter how you feel about the other person, you must have a wedding. This is a matter of the man’s attitude.
Marriage is inherently a matter of spending money. If you have money, spend more, and if you don’t have money, spend less. But you can’t not spend this money.
A woman who follows a man without a name or status will not be cherished and respected by her husband's family. Her husband's family will only think that the woman is a bargain, and will only think that their son is really capable, but not that his future daughter-in-law is caring about her.
Maybe my life will continue like this without any changes, but I will not regret it. I would rather maintain my current situation than have a worse marriage and life.
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