A wife was complaining: Her husband didn’t want others to point out anything he did wrong, and he didn’t want anyone to tell him when he did something wrong. Whenever he did something wrong, he would lose his temper.
In fact, a man does not think that others just point out his mistakes. In his opinion, such pointing out is accusation and nagging, which will make him feel very frustrated.
After making a mistake, it’s not that a man doesn’t realize his mistake, it’s just that he doesn’t want to say it.
As a wife, you don’t have to analyze for a man what he should and shouldn’t do at this time, but you should try your best to bring them positive emotions and help him start over.
01 Men need encouragement after failure instead of nagging
Xiaoqing’s husband wanted to open a restaurant during the epidemic. Xiaoqing disagreed, saying that due to the impact of the epidemic, the catering industry was in recession, so it was better to do something else, but her husband wanted to open a restaurant.
Sure enough, the restaurant closed shortly after it opened. There were very few people coming to eat, and it was difficult to make ends meet every day. Her husband put in a lot of money, but he didn't even earn back the rent.
Generally speaking, when encountering this kind of situation, the wife will be very angry, but Xiaoqing did not say a word of complaint, but encouraged him to do his old job of repairing business, and said nothing about the restaurant.
After half a month of preparation, their repair shop started work. Although they didn't make much money every day, it was enough to support their lives.
Xiaoqing's husband always tells others that his wife is very knowledgeable and a very considerate woman. This is related to the fact that Xiaoqing never nags him when he fails.
When a man fails, what he needs is the courage to face life again, not the accusation and nagging from his wife. A woman's nagging at this time will make him even more confused, frustrated, and even broken.
02 When men are frustrated, they need to understand instead of nagging
Xiao Zhao is an honest person in the workplace. The leader always gives him the most thankless things to do. Once he has achieved results, even the leader will not give him bonuses or subsidies.
Because of the majesty of the leader, no one among his colleagues could say a fair word for Xiao Zhao. The task was arranged a few days ago. Xiao Zhao was not responsible for this task, but the leader gave it to him.
Xiao Zhao worked hard to complete the task, but he made a mistake during the work. One of the data was not checked clearly. Although no loss was caused, he was still criticized by the leader.
Xiao Zhao was very frustrated. He tried his best but could not even say a nice word and was even scolded.
When he got home, Xiao Zhao was very unhappy. When his wife found out, she did not analyze who was right or wrong with Xiao Zhao, but instead blamed the leader with him.
Because his wife knows that what her husband needs at this time is not to analyze clearly how things should be done, but to give her husband enough understanding.
When his wife stood with him at this time, what he could feel was the love from his wife. Right or wrong was not that important anymore. What was important was that his wife could understand his feelings and always be able to support him.
03 Nagging will amplify men's negative emotions and make them more annoyed.
Nagging will only amplify men's negative emotions and make them more overwhelmed.
has a good saying: If you don’t know how to do something, you just haven’t figured out how to face it yet. When you decide to face it, you will know how to do it.
When a man faces something unsatisfactory, it's not that he doesn't know what to do, but that he hasn't figured out how to face it yet.
As a wife, when a man fails and is depressed, she can give him enough comfort, encouragement, and understanding, so that he can regain the courage to live. He will naturally know how to do the best job.
A man does not need re-education from his wife, and he does not need to nag. Nagging will hurt a man's self-esteem and make him feel incompetent, which is something he cannot accept.
No matter how limited his ability is, a man is not willing to let others feel that he is incompetent. All men have vanity .
Nagging is a disguised accusation, and as long as it is an accusation, it will activate men's self-protection system, and they will defend themselves unconsciously.
So nagging will not play the role of reminding or re-educating a man at all, it will only make him feel disgusted. A master once said: What can educate people is never the truth, but the south wall.
So instead of nagging it to no avail, it is better to use another way to encourage, understand and support men so that they can slowly change themselves in life and find their own direction in life.
