The end of a relationship is often not because we no longer love each other, but because the misunderstanding between each other is too deep.
If a couple has accumulated too much resentment and dissatisfaction, they will not know where to start when they want to speak.
When both husband and wife have nothing to say, they can actually try to break the ice by quarreling. For example, you can try the following three methods.
Quarrels are also an art.
Quarrels certainly cannot be like scolding a shrew, shouting out some dirty words to curse people. There is no technical content in such a quarrel.
If used well, quarrels will not only not hurt feelings, but also enhance them.
For example, Gao Xiaosong and Han Han got acquainted because of quarrels in the early years. We are all accustomed to literati being dismissive of each other, but the more quarrels Gao Xiaosong and Han Han have, the better their relationship becomes.
Because they can see what they admire in each other, Gao Xiaosong is very generous and Han Han is very upright, and they later became very good friends. So, quarreling is not necessarily a bad thing.
Fu Seoul's attitude towards quarrels in " wonders about " is very positive and direct. The quarrel is my respect for you, and I still have expectations for you.
When she went to eat, someone else served tomato sauce noodle soup with cherry tomatoes floating in it.
She was not happy. Tomatoes are vegetables and cherry tomatoes are fruits. How can they be called tomato juice if they are not the same thing? If I mash the cherry tomatoes and it turns red, I will recognize it as tomato juice.
It seems to us that there is no need to worry so much about such a small thing. But in fact, most of us are generous in words but uncomfortable in our hearts.
We didn’t quarrel, but we silently made a note for others in our hearts. Couples who quarrel solve their problems while arguing, while couples who don't quarrel get divorced without a word.
Many couples will always have some small frictions in their daily relationship. This matter will make us feel uncomfortable, but it does not seem to reach the critical point of losing our temper, so we will feel comfortable with it.
It is these seemingly irrelevant little things that have become an anthill on the embankment of our marriage, and ultimately led to the failure of the marriage.
You can quarrel. When you make this matter clear, make it clear and don't leave any barriers in your heart.
quarrels are common, and couples have fewer problems getting along with each other.
Quarrels are a way to discover problems. There was once a couple quarreling over the electricity bill. The wife was unhappy because the electricity bill was high. Their topic ranged from a small electricity bill to the company between husband and wife, from the company between husband and wife to working overtime, and finally found the core reason for their anger.
My wife has always had a sense of frustration in life. She feels that no matter what she does, she cannot change the status quo. This situation makes her very irritable and frustrated.
After the husband knew his wife’s true inner thoughts, he conscientiously comforted her and affirmed her importance to him. Their relationship became more understanding of each other because of this quarrel.
Quarrel can not only help us discover problems in our lives, but also help us resolve the negative emotions suppressed in our hearts.
There was a couple. The husband forgot his wife’s birthday. After the birthday, he asked her what gift she wanted and wanted to give her something. The wife said lightly that she wanted divorce agreement .
I believe she didn’t want a divorce because of this forgotten birthday. She had accumulated too much disappointment in her husband before.
As for these things, at the beginning, we can express our unhappiness and let the other party know to change these status quos.
Express your dissatisfaction and express your problems. Although it may cause quarrels between couples, quarreling is a quick, direct and interactive way to solve problems compared to using cold violence and not talking to solve problems in marriage. It is better to have arguments in a marriage than to have nothing to say.
To have a good quarrel, you must have principles and bottom lines
There are so many benefits to quarreling, so how to quarrel is a technical job. First of all, you must not make personal attacks when quarreling. Some people are prone to personal attacks when they lose control of their emotions during a quarrel.
speaks the cruelest words to the people closest to him. Knowing the other person's weakness, he pokes at the other person's sore spots. However, these words do not come from the heart, hurting others also hurts himself. Such quarrels are really emotionally damaging.
Secondly, you can’t expose the truth. Many people quarrel because they keep regurgitating old scores, especially when the other party has made mistakes that you have actually caught and repeatedly bring them up.
Generally in such things, the party that made the mistake at the beginning feels guilty and sincerely wants to correct the mistake.
But if you continue to remind and ridicule him, he will no longer feel guilty, and it will breed rebellious psychology.
Finally, let the other person know why you are arguing.
A writer wrote about her mentality when she was young. At her wedding to her husband, when her husband’s female colleague came to congratulate her, she was angry that her husband did not put his hand on her waist.
She felt that this was the time for her to declare her sovereignty, but her husband had no such awareness at all.
If you argue with your husband about where to place your hands, he will probably never understand it in his lifetime, and he will think you are being unreasonable.
But if you go to discuss it with him, you need him to declare that you are different among all the female colleagues and girlfriends and give you a sense of security. This is an understandable topic.
Quarrel is very important, the quality of the quarrel is more important. In a marriage, the most important thing is to maintain good communication and interaction. If you can't find a better way to solve the problems you encounter, then starting from the quarrel and learning to communicate is also a good way.
