Introduction
Everyone says that every family has a difficult sutra, and for Xiaoru, the thing she has most troublesome is that her sister-in-law and her family come to her house for dinner every day. She has argued with her husband and mother-in-law about this. Let’s take a look at Xiaoru’s story together.
From Xiaoru's self-report:
I am Xiaoru, I am 35 years old this year. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have a son. When I first married my husband, we still lived in the countryside. Later, after we and my wife struggled for many years, we finally bought a house that belonged to us in the city.
. My husband has a sister. She later married into the village next to my husband's house. When I first got married, my sister-in-law and I got along well. Later, after my sister-in-law got married, she went to work in another place. We rarely met. That is, we bought a house last year and met my sister-in-law again when we moved.
My sister-in-law was still very enthusiastic to me as always, while my sister-in-law's husband was a little dull. After that meeting, I realized that my sister-in-law also had children, and they didn't plan to work in another place. In the future, they planned to rent a house in the city, find a job, and take care of the children to school.
I thought my sister-in-law and the others had been working hard outside for so many years and would buy a house when they came back, but they didn't plan to buy a house. When my husband and I talked about this, my husband said, "My sister and brother-in-law made some money a few years ago, but later they lost money when they did their own business. This is not. They couldn't make it outside, so they came back."
After listening to my husband's words, I realized that my sister-in-law was not doing well, but I didn't expect that my sister-in-law would have become my troubles when she came back. After my husband and I bought a house, my husband asked my parents-in-law to take her to live at home, but my parents-in-law and the others were unwilling to come, saying that she was not used to living in the city.
Fortunately, my parents-in-law and I are in good health, so my husband and I are the only ones. When we have time, we will take our children back to visit their two elders. However, they will come to the city to live for a few days when they have time. At this time, my mother-in-law will also call her sister-in-law over.
The house my sister-in-law rented in the city is not far from our community. In addition, my sister-in-law's children and my children are in the same school. When I have time, my sister-in-law is busy, so I asked me to pick her children up to my house. Then, after she got off work, my family picked her up, but over time, my sister-in-law and her husband came to my house to pick up the children every day, but in fact they came to have dinner. If
is just one or two meals occasionally, I can still accept it, but over time, it became natural for my sister-in-law to come to my house to eat. Before, my family had three, and I had to cook two or three dishes. But now I have to join their family, and I have to cook five or six dishes. And I am the only one in the kitchen. My sister-in-law never helps, and our family's expenses suddenly increased, but my sister-in-law never paid for living expenses. Every time I come to our house, I am empty-handed.
, especially on weekends, their family, in addition to breakfast, also had lunch and dinner at my house, and my sister-in-law's husband liked to drink, so my husband always bought a box of wine to keep it at home. I planned to rest at home on weekends, but after their family came, I thought it would be too purified, so I told my husband about this.
I said, "Your sister's family comes to our house to eat and drink every day. If this continues, it won't work. Not only does our family's expenses increase, but my sister also doesn't help me quickly." My husband said, "After all, it's my sister, so you can understand it more, let alone everyone's meals are lively."
I didn't expect my husband to say such things. I was really angry. I said, "You don't cook for a day, you only know how to eat ready-made food. I don't know that I'm tired of cooking. I really don't hurt when I speak while standing. Do you care about this matter?" My husband said, "Don't care." This sentence made me so angry that I had a big fight with him.
Later, my parents-in-law came to the city, and I called my mother-in-law aside to talk about this. I also hoped that my mother-in-law could use this to talk about my sister-in-law, but my mother-in-law said: "Daughter-in-law, it's not easy for my daughter. As your sister-in-law, just take more responsibility." Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law blocked me back with just one word. I was really wronged at the time.
everyone in the family accommodates my sister-in-law's family, but no one cares about my feelings. So on that day, my sister-in-law's family came to our house for dinner. I said at the dinner table: "Sister, that's right. My brother and I plan to buy a car, so that I can pick up and drop off our children. But after my brother and I bought a house, we didn't have much savings left, and it was almost impossible to buy a car. Can you lend us 50,000 yuan?" When the sister-in-law heard this, she said: "Sister-in-law, we have it. There is not that much money, so why don’t you lend it to your parents. “
I said, “Then I will go back and ask them, but if you have enough money, you can borrow 10,000 or 20,000 yuan.” My sister-in-law lowered her head and didn’t say anything. When my sister-in-law’s husband was about to speak, she pulled her sleeve off by her sister-in-law. Then I didn’t say anything. They left our house after dinner. I’m here. When I started to clean up, my husband asked, "We want to buy a car, why don't I know this?" I said, "I made a temporary decision." The next day, I went to school to pick up the child. I didn't see my sister-in-law's child, so I asked my son, and he said, "Auntie picked it up." I followed the child home. After the meal, my sister-in-law didn't come. I specially called my sister-in-law and called her family to come and eat. But my sister-in-law said on the phone: "Sister-in-law, we can't come. I've prepared all the meals." After my husband came back, he saw that my sister and family didn't come, so he asked: "Why didn't my sister and family come?" I said: "They cooked their own meals." Since this time, my sister-in-law and family have not come to our house for dinner. Our family has returned to the peaceful life of the past. I know that my sister-in-law and family will no longer come to my house for dinner. I guess my sister-in-law and family are afraid that I will borrow money from her.
And my sister-in-law is not stupid, she also knows another meaning of me, so that I won’t spread my words directly. Then the final result will cause disagreement between my sister-in-law and sister-in-law. I don’t want to do that, but I just hope my sister-in-law understands that my brother’s house is not my mother’s home.
Mo Ranhuanchen said:
Xiaoru's method is right. My sister-in-law and her family occasionally come to her house for a meal or two, which is nothing. They can also enhance their relationship, but they often come to eat free meals and do not pay for living expenses or help. This behavior is too much.
They do this, which will increase Xiaoru's family's expenses, but they save money themselves. At the same time, Xiaoru makes meals for a family of three, which can be made simpler, but if you join their family, Xiaoru has to cook a few more dishes, which will make you very tired. Once you have more family members, you won't be able to calm down if you have time.
Faced with this situation, Xiaoru borrowed money from her sister-in-law, which was a way. In this way, the sister-in-law would not take the initiative to come to her sister-in-law's house because she was afraid that her sister-in-law would ask for money, and she could also spread it out directly. However, this would inevitably hurt the relationship between the two families.
can also choose not to cook at home for several days. When my sister-in-law and her family come, she sees that she has not cooked, and her family may not come, or the food is not cooked, so the food is not up to the taste, so naturally my sister-in-law and her family are unwilling to come.
So, in the face of such a situation, if you live with your parents-in-law and your house is still your parents-in-law, and your sister-in-law comes to have a free meal every day. As a daughter-in-law, you really don’t know what to say, but if the house belongs to you and your wife, then when facing such a sister-in-law, she should know that this is not her parents’ home.
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