In love, how do you judge whether a man loves you or not, and how much does he love you?
In fact, to be honest, regarding this issue, as the saying goes, "Everyone has different opinions," some people may think that simple companionship and care in daily life represents "love", while some people, even if the other party has spent a lot of money on her and paid all their savings, they still feel that this is far from enough.
Especially in today's society, many women always like to fantasize about love so earth-shaking and vigorously. Men and women must talk about their oaths until the end of time. Only when the sea is gone will it be considered true "love".
But this idea is too unrealistic. Think about it carefully, how is this possible? Moreover, it is well known that the vastness of the world lies in that besides love, there are still many important and precious things in our lives. If we abandon them just for love, then love will lose its meaning and color. The most incomprehensible among
is probably the "pseudo-feminist rights" that is popular in our society now. You should know that "pseudo-feminist rights" do not advocate gender equality in the true sense, but emphasize and promote men's excessive efforts.
even deliberately put women in an extremely high position in their relationship, not seeking truth from facts or taking actual conditions into consideration, and they will only blindly ask men to "put themselves down" to prove their love for her and to prove their love.
Such women who make unreasonable and act reckless in love under the guise of "Equality between men and women" and "feminism" make many men in real life feel chilled and distressed about this. Why are you worried and feel heartbroken? It’s mainly because no matter how much you do for her and how much you give, she won’t see or even take this into consideration. She will only see the part you haven’t done, or she will only belittle you by comparing you to other men.
Meet a girl Bai Yali. She is thirty-five years old this year, but she is still single. In fact, Yali is not a "non-married" clan. The reason why she has no partner yet and has not been able to get married and have children is because she is the one who blames her.
When Yali was young, it was not without excellent men who chased her and showed her love, but she had a high vision and didn't even look down on her.
As the saying goes, "No gold is pure, no one is perfect." No one in this world is perfect. No matter how outstanding a person is, he will have some shortcomings. This is a very normal thing. But Yali just doesn't understand this. What she likes to do most in relationships is to grasp the other person's shortcomings, so she cannot see other people's strengths.
For example, those men who are professional, motivated and hardworking, but may have a slightly worse family environment, Yali will dislike the man's family is not rich and not stable enough, so who can guarantee what will happen in the future;
For example, those men who are rich, have a good family background, and have a house and a car, Yali will dislike the other party's ugly appearance and feel that others' appearance is not worthy of her.
However, Yali ignored one thing. Even if there are really outstanding men in this world in every aspect, how could they look down on her? After all, to be honest, Yali is just an ordinary woman in terms of appearance and background. Among all living beings, she is easily drowned in the vast sea of people.
And you need to know one fact, that is: when you are choosing others, others are also choosing you. So if you want to meet a very good partner, first of all, you cannot be content with mediocrity.
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In fact, Yali has also talked about several partners before and has had several love experiences, but each time she fell in love will not exceed six months at most. The reason for breaking up is also very simple, mainly because Yali's requirements for her boyfriend are too high for love, and even a bit unrealistic.
For example, when Yali is in love, she always asks her boyfriend to prepare surprises for herself from time to time; in the middle of the night, she often asks her boyfriend to buy her midnight snacks in the cold wind; if she is sick, no matter what her boyfriend is doing, she must immediately come to take care of her.
Maybe for love and love, Yali is more about living in her own fantasy from reality. Perhaps in her opinion, only these exaggerated, romantic plots that often appear in films and TV series or novels can prove love.
However, it can be imagined that Yali's ex-boyfriend naturally cannot stand these excessive requests, and it's okay to forget it once or twice, but with more times, they are always so unreasonable every day. The other party will only feel exhausted and exhausted, and will naturally propose a "breakup".
But even though Yali was broken up so many times, she still never knows how to reflect on herself, and even blames the other party for it, thinking that it is their fault and that they do not understand their own good.
But that's not the case. Yali's ex-boyfriends who had dated had already been married and had children, but she is still alone now, running around in various blind dates, dreaming of her own love.
In my opinion, there is no absolute standard answer to the question of "how to define love", but it cannot violate the actual conditions in any case. Because to put it bluntly, love is sublimated into marriage, and marriage is ultimately nothing more than food, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, and it is just an ordinary and ordinary day every day.
About half a year ago, Yali met Li Yong, a man of the same age who was of good condition through a blind date introduction by someone else. How to say it, Li Yong is a typical man with a low emotional intelligence, honest and honest person, not very good at expressing himself, not very romance, and not very good at making women happy.
So, although Li Yong had had two girlfriends before and had two love experiences, they often ended up in vain. In addition, Li Yong can be said that he is not bad in terms of family background or work ability.
At least for Yali, who is already 35 years old this year, Li Yong can be regarded as a pretty good marriage partner. Moreover, Yali does have a good impression of Li Yong, but when Li Yong suggested that they were formally dating, Yali said that she needed to have more contact and consider it carefully.
Why is this? Yali said about this: "In love, women still need to be reserved, otherwise they will be caught too easily and the other party will not cherish them."
To be honest, I can still understand Yali's idea at first, and I even think there is something good about it. After all, Yali and Li Yong are just dating for marriage, so it is true that they are more careful and consider more. However, Yali exaggerated the process.
For half a year, Li Yong invited Yali to eat countless meals, watch countless movies, and visit the amusement park countless times. He forced a man who was originally an introverted and dull man to start learning how to pursue women, coax women, and speak sweet words. Moreover, Yali would ask Li Yong to surprise her every now and then and give her a gift.
It can be seen that Li Yong really likes Yali, so even though this process made him feel exhausted and exhausted, he listened to Yali's words one by one. It was just because the two of them had not really confirmed their relationship, so Li Yong had never held her hand, let alone hugging Yali.
But whenever Li Yong requests Yali to date, Yali will deal with it perfunctorily. In fact, she said refusally: "Let's talk about your performance later."
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However, because Yali and Li Yong are both old and old, Yali has been consuming this for a long time and has long caused dissatisfaction among Li Yong's parents.
In the eyes of Li Yong's parents, since they already have a good marriage partner, the two should settle down early. Getting married and having children is the main business. Like a young girl, what's the matter?
But what Li Yong’s parents don’t know is that Yali and Li Yong are not even at the point of falling in love, and are just in the process of the man pursuing the woman. But Li Yong's parents had been waiting for a long time to hold their grandson, so they began to put pressure on Li Yong to put the marriage to Yali on the agenda.
Under pressure from parents, Li Yong hesitated and decided to break the skylight and speak out loud, and said to Yali: "Yali, I have been chasing you for more than half a year. Do you like me? Give me a correct statement. You also know that our age is not young anymore, and our parents are very anxious. If I don't get married, I can't explain to my parents."
Yali still looked disapproving and replied: "My parents have not urged you yet. What's the point of being a big man? And I think we are not at the right time yet, so let's talk about it later."
Li Yong, who always has a good temper, could not tolerate it at this moment when he heard Yali say this. The two of them had a big fight over this matter and ended up parting in disagreement.
Not finished yet. On the way home alone, Li Yong saw Yali's circle of friends while browsing his phone: "I have only been chasing for half a year, and I gave up so quickly. Why should I marry you?"
Anyone with a discerning eye can see that it is obvious that Yali's circle of friends is specifically written for Li Yong, so when Li Yong saw this circle of friends, he was completely disappointed with Yali.
Originally, Li Yong calmed down and felt a little impulsive. He also wanted to understand Yali well. After all, women think more about marriage and need more caution. But from this circle of friends, it is obvious that Yali is not out of careful consideration, but just wants to use time to prove love, satisfy her vanity and a competing heart.
Li Yong recalled again that he once heard Yali call a friend and said to a friend of best friends: "Even if I am in my thirties, my charm is still not as good as back then. There is a man around me who has been chasing me for almost half a year."
Li Yong didn't care at that time, but he just thought she was just a joke between her and her best friend. Now it's really a great irony. Unexpectedly, over the past six months, all his sincerity and dedication to Yali seemed to have only moved him, but not touched her half.
To put it bluntly, he was like a "jump clown", trying his best to please Yali and try every means to pursue her. As a result, people didn't even think about marrying him, but just treated him as a spare tire.
And Li Yong later learned that while he was pursuing Yali with all his heart, Yali was still on a blind date with others, and was still looking for and looking for a better marriage candidate than him. However, Li Yong still knew very well that there should be no such stupid person in this world except him, and he decided not to let himself be so stupid anymore.
Finally, after thinking about it, Li Yong decided to reply to Yali after thinking about it, which was the official announcement of the end of this relationship, so he replied five words under the comments in the circle of friends: "I can't stand it." After Li Yong replied, he didn't wait for Yali's reply, so he directly pulled her into the blacklist.
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And when Li Yong stopped trying to please and no longer pester Yali, she finally realized something was wrong. Because in Yali's opinion, she always felt that she was worthy of a better man, so she was so unscrupulous to Li Yong and even did whatever she wanted.
In Yali's eyes, she felt that Li Yong was a stupid person who could not speak or say sweet words, and even didn't even say a nice word. He also had average appearance, work, family background and other conditions, so he always regarded him as his "spare tire", enjoying his pursuit, while looking for better candidates than him.
But Yali herself forgot that she is thirty-five years old this year and is no longer young, especially for women, she has long passed the best golden age. Especially in the blind date market, where can she choose others?
Faced with Li Yong's departure, Yali suddenly felt very regretful. Although Yali has now become the more proactive one in the relationship between them, it is a pity that how can the injured heart be restored? And being heartbroken means that you will never recover from now on.
So Li Yong left very resolutely, and even blocked the contact information, leaving no room for anything. Because he knew in his heart that even if he married Yali, they would not be happy.
And Yali is still single, maybe she doesn't know how long it will take to find her happiness. To put it bluntly, if Yali still refuses to change her mentality, happiness may mean that she will never see it.
In fact, in love, women can have fantasies, but they must know how to recognize reality, their own conditions, and more importantly, they must know the superficial and material nature of love.
Don’t blindly pursue the so-called feminist rights. You should know that in love, there is no natural meaning and no reason. Love is equal, and it is not something that men should have to bear more and give more. Therefore, you must know how to repay and cherish the kindness others have to treat you and the efforts they have to do to you. Otherwise, it will disappear one day.
I have heard this saying: "Life is like picking shells by the beach. Don't always feel that the best one is always ahead, so you keep moving forward with a careless and searching attitude."
We still need to understand that there has never been any best. Only what suits you is the best.
Especially when you miss the best stage and move into the next stage of your life, it may be even harder to have a good person waiting for you ahead. Because sometimes love may not be waiting, it may be around you, and you can't catch it.
