Introduction:
"Second Marriage" is not as simple as people imagine. "Second Marriage" does not mean the beginning of happiness, especially when remarried couples have children, and they involve their respective interests and property. If you speak and do things, it is easy to cause family conflicts.
It is said that couples are hard to get along with each other halfway through the road. Although it seems that the whole family lives together and their relationship is quite fragile. Even conflicts break out for a small matter, and there are many people who break up.
60-year-old Aunt Jiang remarried to Uncle Cai, who was 3 years older than him. After 20 years of remarriage, the two people's lifestyle has always been AA system. Now that their children have grown up, Uncle Cai wants to take his old mother over to support her. Not only does Aunt Jiang disagree but also threaten her divorce. Finally, she made a harsh statement: Whoever's mother cares, it's okay if you take it over, but I will never care.
What exactly has Aunt Jiang experienced? Let's continue to read.
From the 60-year-old Aunt Jiang’s self-report:
I was 40 years old that year when I was with Lao Cai, and I have been divorced for more than 5 years. We were introduced to each other. My parents had a good impression of him during the blind date. He was tall and tall, honest. My parents felt that living with such people was more stable.
Soon after we got married, we had a daughter, but our ex-husband prefers boys over girls and doesn’t like her. I didn’t get well with the confinement period and got sick. Later, I went to work and told her ex-husband to let him take her daughter to sleep when she was working at night. However, he actually took my daughter under the age of one year at home while I was not at home and went out to play cards by himself.
When I got home from night shift, I saw my daughter crying all night. The hot water bag I prepared for her was rubbing off the cotton cloth with my feet, which made my legs so hot that I felt so distressed that I hugged my daughter and cried bitterly. Because of the ex-husband's card game, we often quarrel. Every time he loses, he will come back to ask me for money. If he doesn't have money, he will hit me. My daughter was scared to death since she was a child. Seeing her thin body trembling, I made up my mind to take her out of this home.
My ex-husband and I went through the divorce procedures, and my daughter belonged to me. I rented a small house near the factory and lived with my daughter. Although those days were hard, I felt a long-lost happiness when I stayed together. I also felt relieved as my daughter became happy day by day.
When I first divorced, someone said he would introduce me to a partner. They advised me to be young and that I would not have someone around me for a long time, but I didn’t want my daughter to be wronged until I met Lao Cai later.
Lao Cai was introduced to me by a relative. He said he fell in love with me at first sight. After our first meeting, we started a passionate pursuit of me. During those days, Lao Cai sent me to and from get off work every day and bought delicious food for my daughter. My daughter was in a boarding school at the time. Every weekend, Lao Cai would take me with me and pick me up at a restaurant outside for dinner.
My daughter's attitude towards Lao Cai was very plain to trust from the beginning. She told me that she had a good impression of this uncle and felt that if I lived with him, I would be very happy. At that time, my daughter had grown up and gradually matured her mind. In her heart, it was also very important for her to live a happy life for the rest of her life. It was with my daughter's encouragement that I accepted Lao Cai's proposal.
Lao Cai has a son who was in college at that time, and Lao Cai’s parents lived alone. Usually, I and Lao Cai were the only ones at home. The children would come back during the winter and summer vacations. Lao Cai repeatedly promised me that he would treat me well, regard me as a treasure, and give me the happiest life.
I am probably used to being alone, and suddenly someone treats me like this. I was so moved that I couldn't help crying.
After marriage, I lived a sweet life with Lao Cai. During the day, we went to work separately. After work, Lao Cai went to the vegetable market and cooked all kinds of delicious food for me. Because the children were not at home, we had no burden. After dinner, we went out for a walk and shopping. On weekends, we went to school to see my daughter, and then went to see Lao Cai’s parents.
I don’t know why, Lao Cai’s parents have always been very good at me. His mother always talks about how good her daughter-in-law is and how diligent and filial she is. Of course, the daughter-in-law she is talking about is not me, but Lao Cai’s original wife, but now she has passed away. This is an indisputable fact. I don’t want to be jealous. I just want to see people’s hearts over time. As long as I treat the elderly well, they will accept me sooner or later.
Every time I go to Lao Cai’s parents’ house, I take the initiative to do housework for them, wash their hair and clothes, take out the bed sheets for them, and then go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and cook for them. But Lao Cai’s mother is still not satisfied with me and compares everything with her daughter-in-law to me, saying that I am not as quick as her in washing clothes, and cooking as she is not as delicious as her. She also says that I have a good mouth and will lie to men.
I felt very sad when I heard this. I was very sincere but couldn't get a good impression. Gradually, my enthusiasm faded.
I am kind to Lao Cai’s parents, thinking that although we are second marriage, I want to live a good life, but later I don’t know what Lao Cai’s mother said to Lao Cai. Lao Cai’s attitude towards me took a big turn of 360 degrees. In the third month after marriage, Lao Cai suddenly proposed that this family belongs to us. His meaning is very simple. He hopes that we will share the living expenses, which is what others call AA system.
Later I found out that it was Lao Cai's mother nagging in his ear, for fear that I would cheat him of money, and that her eldest grandson would not have any settlement when he got married and bought a house in the future, so she asked Lao Cai to pay close attention to the money and asked me to pay my own living expenses. I mind very much about this. People are the property of my wife, so I can't keep it in my family. I can't see Lao Cai's money. Now I can't see it, but I also have to pay my own living expenses.
I was angry about this for a long time, and I even wanted to divorce, but this was my second marriage. I couldn't stand the fingers of others, and I was afraid that my daughter would be sad, so I had to agree and my living expenses were their own.
Now 20 years have passed, and Lao Cai and I have been living this kind of life. We each pay half of the expenses at home. If we go to the supermarket to buy daily necessities, even if Lao Cai settles the bill first in the supermarket, he will still circle the things that my daughter and I use when we get home, and then ask me for money.
Lao Cai's son got married, and I gave him a bracelet to his daughter-in-law. Lao Cai was so happy that he smiled. When my daughter got married, I wanted Lao Cai to buy a souvenir for his son-in-law. Lao Cai glared at me and said: That is your son-in-law, not my son-in-law!
Lao Cai's words were like a plate of cold water that made me soak through. Over the years, I have been good at both children. No matter what, I always love them as my mother. But Lao Cai was only very attentive to my daughter when she pursued me, and later ignored her. She also knew this. Her daughter became cautious in speaking in front of Lao Cai for me, so she rarely came back when she went to college and went to work in the middle of the winter and summer vacations.
Although our living expenses are AA, I do not have much housework at all. Lao Cai comes back from get off work and just wants to eat ready-made food. Seeing that I am not home, he sits on the sofa and plays on his phone waiting for dinner. I come back to cook after work. After cooking, I call Lao Cai, and I wish I can invite you three times and four times. I shout it many times before I pay attention to you. I slowly go to the table to eat, and then sit back on the sofa. I have to clean the dishes and clean it alone. From beginning to end, he doesn't even bother to talk to me. I don't even bother to raise my head. I think I live in this family.
Originally, I thought that as long as my daughter lives a happy life, I am old this year and don’t want to mess with this marriage. I have to live with Lao Cai just by turning a blind eye. But who knew that when Lao Cai came back from his mother’s house a few days ago, it was rare to speak to me on his own initiative.
Lao Cai said: My dad has been away for more than ten years. My mom has become more and more difficult to live alone over the years. She is in her 80s. If something happens one day, I won’t feel at ease. I have already agreed to her that I will take her to me for retirement. You can clean up the south-facing room for my mom to live in.
After listening to Lao Cai's words, I didn't say anything for a long time. Lao Cai was chattering and urging me to clean up quickly. I just sat down and didn't say anything. I asked Lao Cai: If you take your mother, who cares? Do you care?
Lao Cai laughed when he heard this: I care? I am a man who cares so much? Taking care of your mother-in-law is what you should do as a daughter-in-law. Besides, it is not convenient for me to take care of a man.
Lao Cai didn't listen to me at all and continued to tell me the request, that his mother would make the meal lighter after coming, and that in the morning and afternoon I would take his mother to a small park for a walk. He also told me that if the old man said anything, I would not allow me to talk back, so as not to make her angry. He also asked my daughter and son-in-law to come to see her grandmother.
I can no longer listen and asked Lao Cai directly: Why?
I continued: I have been married to you for 20 years. Your mother has never seen me directly. She looks down on my daughter even more. She doesn’t even give her face in front of others. Why do I have to support her now? Besides, we are all living in the AA system now. I have to pay for living expenses and do housework. Now I have to take care of your mother. Am I the nanny you hired? The nanny still has a salary, do I have a salary? I even have to pay my own living expenses!
Lao Cai hugged my shoulder and wanted to say nice things to me, but I refused directly. I told him that it would be fine if I took it back. This is your house, I don’t care about it, but you will take care of it yourself. This is your mother. If you want to count on me, don’t think about it. If you don’t want us, we will divorce. Anyway, I have lived enough of this life.
Lao Cai is still accusing me of being filial and not wanting to argue with him anymore. I have already paid enough in the past 20 years. I only regret not leaving him earlier.
Later, I divorced Lao Cai, and now I move to my daughter's house to live with me. I usually take care of their children to do housework. My daughter and son-in-law are very filial to me, and I live a fulfilling and happy life every day.
The second marriage is far from as simple as imagined. Everyone has their own goals. Not to mention children, even the relationship between parents-in-law becomes difficult to get along with. If the couple is not tolerant and considerate, they will never live this life. Therefore, those who choose to marry a second marriage must think carefully.
@cuncunweiyun Thank you for reading, and you are welcome to like, comment and forward.
