The passionate and elopement and the ecstatic and other things have been twists and turns in their relationship.
The marriage of the three sons of the Zhu family has not experienced any twists and turns except Chuanjie and Yushu. Chuanwen waited for Xian'er for 8 years before becoming close to 's under the pressure of his parents; Chuanwu waited for Xian'er for 18 years, but in the end he was unable to get along with Xian'er as he wished.
" in the Mood for Love " has this sentence: I never thought that marriage was so complicated, and I thought it would be enough for one person to do it well, but when two people are together, it is not enough to do it well by themselves.
Xiu'er used his true feelings throughout his life, but he did not impress Chuanwu; the article only took one day, but he captured the sincerity of Chuanwu.
After all, marriage and love are completely different things. Whether a relationship can end is not a vow or a mutual understanding of love, but also many external factors.
"Crossing the Guandong" these three relationships tell you that if you can't overcome these three hurdles in marriage, it will easily break up.
01 Couple is different
Chuanwu used all kinds of tricks to refuse marriage, running away from home, and taking a hunger strike.
But he still did not escape the pressure of Zhu Kaishan . He had Zhang Liang's plan, and Zhu Kaishan had his own ladder. He played hard, and Zhu Kaishan, who rolled out of the sea of blood, was far away from his son.
Chuanwu married Xiu'er unwillingly. Everyone was happy to think that they had finally conquered the stubborn donkey, but they didn't expect that Chuanwu elopeed directly on the night of his wedding.
Xiu'er once told Chuanwu:
You saved my life, it belongs to you. I am the dog skin plaster posted on you. You can't even expose it in this life!
She used her 18-year-old widow to prove her persistence and infatuation with Chuanwu. She really stuck to Chuanwu's life like a dog-skin plaster. Even if he eloped with another woman on the night of his wedding, even if he hadn't touched her a finger in 18 years, even if he was always cold to her and avoided her like a snake or a scorpion, she would be willing to stay with him for the rest of her life as willing as she pleased to wait for him for the rest of her life.
Bi Shumin said: Our lives do not exist because of being liked by others.
A relationship requires you to work hard to be together. Even if you are lucky enough to be together, you must continue to maintain a humble attitude to maintain this relationship. Such a relationship will only make you love and exhausted over time, and you will never gain the sincerity you want.
article His mother once felt sorry for Xiu'er's infatuation and advised her to give up Chuanwu and find her happiness again. She said:
If two people didn't mean this, they would have lost their energy, and it would be useless to wait!
As the saying goes: A husband and wife will turn the earth into gold!
In a marriage, if a couple cannot be together, even if they barely get married due to external factors, they will be very supportive of each other forever.
Just like Mrs. Qin in " Knows ", she constantly provoked Minglan and Gu Tingye , but she always ended up with a crushing defeat. Finally, she concluded that the reason why she had been hitting walls is because Minglan and Gu Tingye's marriage is an iron plate:
You know why we hit walls everywhere and suffered repeated setbacks, not because both of them are extremely smart, but because they are both in one heart and trust each other. No matter how people outside rectify, they cannot break the root. This is the barrier.
Friendship is not just about one sincerity, nor is it about wishful thinking and infatuation. When you live a marriage, you must be united in your husband and wife to last forever. If your heart is not together, you will have to be together sooner or later.
02 On the day when he couldn't let go of his ex-
Chuanwen got married, Xian'er, who had been waiting for 8 years, came to the door. At that moment, everyone in the Zhu family was panicked, and the Wen was also panicked. She sat in the new house wearing a big red wedding dress and cried and asked Chuanwen: "What should I do? What should I do if I ask me!"
Chuanwen found Zhu Kaishan on the second day of his wedding and wanted to send him off. Wen'er married Xian'er:
Xian'er is back. Can we send that Wen back? I still want to get married to Xian'er.
If Zhu Kaishan hadn't made up his mind to break up the couple and decided to recognize the wife of Wen, Chuanwen wouldn't have had the chance to get along with the woman and fall in love with her.
Of course, this marriage cannot be separated from Na Wen's own initiative and struggle. If she was like Xian'er, hesitant and indecisively waiting for Chuan Wen to change her mind, she might not have anything to do in the end.
Lu Yao once said: Everyone has an awakening period, but the sooner or later awakening determines the fate of one person.
The passage confirmed that the person who spent his life with him would be after that article, and he did not have too much trouble with Xian'er's affairs. He quickly withdrew his little thoughts about Xian'er and devoted his heart to cultivating his relationship with the article. After marriage, the two respected each other as guests, respected each other, and lived a sweeter life.
If Chuanwen is stubbornly stuck in a relationship like Chuanwu, unforgettable to his ex, always indulge in his regrets and Xian'er, and recalling the broken things in his past with him, then he will live in guilt, self-blame and regret throughout his life, and will never feel the meaning of life again.
people will always meet all kinds of people in their lives, some will amazed your time, some will be gentle with your years, you may meet your favorites in your life when you were young, but this relationship ended in failure due to some factor, but we cannot live in the past for the rest of our lives.
I like this sentence very much: Those who regret missing the afterglow of the sunset will eventually miss the stars and seas.
Those who are immersed in the past all day long and are obsessed with their ex will eventually miss their own happiness, especially those who have been married and started a new journey. If they cannot let go of their obsession, the couple will sooner or later, just like the martial arts that will be painful for a lifetime without being loved!
03 I can’t get the recognition of my husband’s family
Xian’er and Chuanwen were not destined because she came one step late. Chuanwen had married Nawen and became the wife of the Ming couple in the Zhu family.
She and Chuanwu still had a chance at that time. If Zhu Kaishan could accept her, she and Chuanwu might not have missed each other's life, causing the tragedy of the three people.
The reason why Zhu Kaishan broke up a couple is because Xian'er and Chuanwu once had the title of "uncle and sister-in-law"; the other is that Xian'er married on the way to Guandong, worked as an actor, and was ruined.
Zhu Kaishan regards etiquette and reputation as life. In his eyes, when men and women get married, they must follow the etiquette of "the words of the matchmaker". This step cannot be saved. So what if there is love and righteousness in the young man? So what if you have an engagement with Chuanwen? She was elopement after all, and she was not innocent, so she could not be on the table.
You have to invite a matchmaker to go through the motions. It looks good in terms of face. You have to leave when you should be polite, so you can't save it.
Tan's family is in Shandong, and the Zhu family is outside the pass. It is difficult for elders to find opportunities to sit together and walk together for almost their entire lives. The ceremony of "finding matchmakers and giving betrothal gifts" is a formality. Xian'er, who is not recognized by the Zhu family, will find it difficult to enter the Zhu family's door in his lifetime.
Xian'er and Chuanwen, Xian'er and Chuanwu are actually all in Zhu Kaishan's thoughts. If he succeeds Xian'er, Chuanwen will not have that Wen, or Chuanwu will not have Xiu'er. No matter how you choose, at least Xian'er doesn't have to live a life of wandering around the world and making a family.
Chuanwu and Xiu'er don't have to wait for a lifetime, suffer for a lifetime, and regret for a lifetime!
Philosopher Krishnamuti said: The crisis is not outside, the crisis is actually internal, and we are unwilling to face this.
It is useless to have love in a marriage. If you do not receive the recognition and blessings of the man’s parents, it is difficult to have a happy ending. Even if you temporarily overcome the obstacles of family together, your partner’s parents will definitely become a thunder in the marriage, which will cause the marriage to fall apart at any time.
Just like Zhang Jiani , she married Mai Chao for 8 years and gave birth to two sons, but still did not get the recognition of her in-laws. Her mother-in-law didn't allow her to call her "mom", but only asked her to call her "aunt". Because her parents did not recognize this marriage, he didn't even dare to give Zhang Jiani a wedding.
Although they eventually broke through all kinds of obstacles together and obtained the certificate and gave birth to a child, as love faded, family affection became like a thorn, becoming a hidden pain that the two could not get through.
Blood ties are bonds that can be cut down throughout life, but love will fade with time. When one day love is indifferent, what should couples use to maintain that shallow relationship?
deep affectionately like Chuanwu and Xian'er. Even if the two of them have been in trouble for a lifetime, without Zhu Kaishan's recognition, they will not be able to be together for the rest of their lives.
There is a saying: The happiest thing in this life is to meet someone who can open your heart to you, so that you can show your weaknesses to him, and walk with each other in a snuggle with each other.
If your marriage encounters one of the three hurdles above, even if you fall in love here, I suggest you stop the loss in time, otherwise even if you are together, it will easily break up.
The luckiest thing for people in their lives is that the person I love happens to love me, and they are in harmony with each other. With the blessings of their parents, relatives and friends, they can work together for a lifetime. Only such a marriage can last forever.
