Author丨Xiaozhi
I think that after a relationship ends, those who are obsessed with the word "forget" are essentially escaping.
Because they cannot handle their emotions at this time, cannot suppress their longing, and have inner entanglement, they hope to forget the word "forget", thinking that as long as they forget, they will no longer suffer and everything will be fine.
In fact, this is impossible.
Whether in life or on the Internet, I have encountered more than one person asking me the same topic: How long will it take for someone I truly love to forget?
My answer is the same every time: will never forget it, because a broken heart is not an amnesia.
Even if you are heartbroken, the memories of the past will always exist objectively and will not be transferred by any reality. Only by accepting this can you correctly view the gains and losses in the intimate relationship.
To put it bluntly, it all depends on your own state of mind.
A friend of mine once loved a girl very much. That girl and he were high school classmates. You can say this. He gave all the romance and enthusiasm of a boy in his youth to that girl, and the girl was her white moonlight.
When he broke up, he was in pain. He was drunk alone and had not come out for two years after breaking up.
Now he is married and has a lovely daughter.
He loves his wife and his family very much. He said that his wife and daughter are the full motivation for their hard work. No matter how hard it is outside, as long as he thinks that there is always a light at home to light up for him, as long as he comes home from get off work, he will immediately feel energetic and not tired.
This kind of companionship and responsibility has become an indispensable part of his life.
And what does a girl in her youth exist in his heart? Did he forget her? He definitely didn't forget. He was still very moved when he talked about it, and sometimes he added curiously: "I don't know how she is now?"
But he didn't forget. He didn't really miss that relationship or miss someone, just because that memory represents the enthusiasm and recklessness of a boy at the age of sixteen or seventeen.
That era was gone forever, because it could not be returned, so it seemed extremely precious.
He said that he never thought about contacting that girl.
Have you noticed that when one person cannot forget another, he will always keep saying the word "forget" and remind himself over and over again but it will be useless. But when this forget is not mentioned deliberately by himself, everything will become natural.
So what if I think about it? It's just a slight smile.
People who don’t fear those who think about it and don’t emphasize forgetting are often the ones who have really come out.
At this time, even when talking about the past, you can still look at the original encounter from an outsider's perspective. The love and the ending will be much more objective, because at this time, you can do not have any emotions.
I remember when my best friend broke up with his ex, he always sent me messages at night saying that he wanted to forget his determination.
However, after a while, I might be troubled by my defeat. She said, "Why can't I forget him? He is obviously not good, and he is not worthy of my love. But I am really useless. I still miss him. When will I forget him?"
I could only tell her over and over again: "You will be relieved in the future, believe me."
Is she relieved now?
It is certain that she has married someone else and her marriage is also very happy.She and her current husband love each other, and she said bluntly: "After meeting him, I felt that my past miss was God's arrangement, to let me meet the right person."
Love is time-sensitive. In the past, she really loved that boy, but the boy did not cherish it. When she finally came out to welcome a new life, she could also love another person with enthusiasm.
Many people think they will never get out of a relationship when they are separated, but later they still find new redemption and love in the years ahead.
repeats over and over again.
So, there is no need to say a lot of things too absolutely. You may not be able to say how they will change in the future.
And my best friend, have you forgotten that boy now?
definitely doesn't.
Once when we went shopping, she suddenly said: "I used to come here often."
I naturally understood who he was talking about.
But she just said it casually, without any emotion, and her tone was as plain as if she was talking about where to eat at noon today. Because of the familiar scene, she subconsciously reminded her of the memories of the past, and then continued to pull me to the mall to choose clothes.
When she broke up, she couldn't help crying whenever she talked about the boy's name and the past.
Many facts have proved that: The person you once loved will still fade in your memory later, and those surging love and emotions will slowly cool down.
You will not forget anyone who has taken on an important role in your life.
Because of these past, whether good or bad, it has its meaning. You don’t have to deliberately deny anything, or you must erase something. Accepting yourself is the most important topic in life, and they jointly create you now.
Therefore, it is wrong to measure a relationship by using the word forgetting, and those who are stubborn about forgetting definitely want to hide their true thoughts.
The past is the past, and losing is the loss. Remembering the past is the responsibility for one's own life. It is not harmful to think about it occasionally, because truly smart people will understand that only by cherishing the people in front of you is the most correct thing.
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