The reader wrote to me and said:
My husband was once a subordinate of my father, and my husband and I were also the result of my father's strong recommendation. To be honest, I really looked down on my husband at that time: I had a wealthy family, and my husband only passed the exam and stayed in the city where I lived; my husband looked average. It was only because my father thought that my husband was a good character and motivated, so I reluctantly accepted him, and felt that in his future life, his husband could give me more help at the career level.
In fact, in the 8th year of my marriage with my husband, my father saw that we had a stable relationship, so he planned to hand over the company to my husband for his full responsibility. But in this matter, I have my own idea: I want to quit my job and become the top leader of my father's company (I was a civil servant at the time). Because I have a firm attitude, my father will naturally follow my advice.
Although I became the head of my father's company, more often, I still let my husband show up to deal with many more important things, and in front of my husband, I also showed a humble attitude. Unfortunately, my husband felt that his wings were hard at this time and started to get involved in extramarital affairs. To be honest: I turned a blind eye to my husband and some people when they have no deep friendship. But a year ago, my husband was really moved by a girl in her early twenties. In this case, I naturally have to interfere. My attitude: I can only choose one of two. In the end, my husband chose me. It was also since then that I did not allow my husband to participate in any business in the company, but instead asked him to be a family husband at home. Of course, I will also take out 10,000 yuan every month as a pocket money for him and his children. To put it bluntly, if it weren't for the child, I would have kicked my husband without hesitation.
Because my husband no longer has the capital to show off, he is now more attentive in front of me. To be honest: During the years I have lived with my husband, I have been showing a good attitude in front of him, for fear that my strength will make him feel weak. Unexpectedly, my accusation to my husband was in exchange for his betrayal of his marriage. Now, my heart is true: run the company well and make myself stronger. There is no longer any expectation for her husband. If he does something to betray his marriage, he will leave.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
There are all kinds of strange things in the world, because during this period, I have heard some cases like this. The general situation: some people will sell the other party’s pre-marital property after getting married on the grounds of getting married, thereby transforming the pre-marital property into the common property of the couple, and then choose to divorce, so that they can get some benefits from it. Since people want to perform such utilitarianism in the field of love, people naturally have to have a attitude of harming others and being wary of others in the process of managing marriage. When your father is planning to retire, it is wise to be able to rationally quit his stable job to take charge of the career your father has worked hard on. At least the result of your doing so has a very good involvement on your husband, which has led to him being able to obey in front of you now.
Sometimes people will sigh like this: there is no need for couples to interpret too smartly. The key is: trust someone too much. If he plots on you, you will lose miserably. To this end, even between husband and wife, there is a need to show the shape of nails being nails and rivets. Because a lot of things that originally belong to you are more at ease in your pocket. In addition, something we need to understand: in a relationship, try not to do things that are unreasonable, otherwise even if your lover does not choose to divorce you, it is impossible to trust you 100%. Especially for the weaker party in terms of strength, it is necessary to ensure loyalty to the marriage in the process of managing the marriage, because the final direction of your marriage is not controlled by you.
In the emotional field, some people are willing to treat you well and are willing to take care of your emotions. It is not because the other party is cowardly, but because the other party values each other's happiness more and wants to maintain the balance between the two people with a humble attitude. At this time, if you regard the other person's generosity and tolerance as the other person's cowardice and the other person cannot live without you, you will feel a little self-righteous.Once a person looks and family background are relatively superior, and you are showing a better attitude in front of the other party, you are likely to be kicked by the other party. To this end, when we manage our relationship, we must have a clearer understanding of ourselves, rather than regretting it when we do something that hurts the other party and kicks you out of the siege. You should know that everyone needs to bear the price they deserve for their actions.
People live a lifetime, but in fact, relying on their own ability to gain more voice for themselves. Relatively speaking, those who have the right to speak will also show instinctive toughness when doing things. When you are unable to gain more say for yourself in life, try to be a person who abides by the rules. Ask yourself: I don’t have the strength and don’t abide by the rules. Why do you think you can make the people around you accommodate you? For this reason, sometimes we should not complain about unfairness, because you don’t have the ability to manage the land that originally belonged to you and choose to be casual and indulge in life. Is this really good? To this end, each of us should have the minimum self-discipline in life, such as: at least make ourselves a reliable person.
Maybe we can’t do it in our lives to be moved by one person, but we can definitely let ourselves nibble greed in the bud when we meet the opposite sex who is moved after marriage. In fact, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, there will be some fickle factors instinctively. Otherwise, when you encounter some outstanding looks on the street, you will not be able to take a few more glances. But we must always understand: if you do not have the idea of divorce or divorce capital, even if your marriage life is a bit unsatisfactory, you need to ensure that you are loyal to your marriage, because once you get flirted with something outside of marriage and are discovered by your lover, it doesn’t matter if you can guarantee that your sorry can be exchanged for your legal lover? To this end, learning to be self-control is also a quality that should be found at the human level.
Under the current situation, when faced with your husband's cheating, you will definitely feel depressed and psychologically unbalanced, but you still have no idea about divorce. Perhaps the reason you give yourself not to divorce is that you are unwilling to let your children grow up in a divorced family, but in fact, it is because you and your husband have quietly established a strong family relationship. Since you don’t have the idea of divorce, the matter about your husband’s betrayal of marriage should be indifferent from your memory. In fact, after you deprived your husband of your rights in your company, your husband was already calm and now he was living in a dog-licking state in front of you. Perhaps the current situation is also what you want to see. To this end, while you are a little strong towards your husband, please do not have sarcastic elements, after all, his patience is limited.
Postscript:
A person is in a better state of living: try not to compete with the people around him as much as possible, and maximize his strength within his own ability, and maintain a balance between husband and wife at the level of effort. Many times, people's unhappiness comes from their own comparisons that they feel that they are not as good as others, or their sigh after drawing cakes but not taking practical actions, or their self-depression of giving too much in their marriage life but their lover does not know how to be grateful.
Although many times, people value whether they are rich at the material level, more often people's joys, anger, sorrows, and happiness still depend on whether they are full of their spiritual level. There are many things worth persisting in life, such as: maintaining the habit of reading books every day; maintaining the habit of exercising every day. You will find that you have enough time to arrange your spare time, and in this case, your heart will be less impetuous.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
