I am Xiaoli, 36 years old, and now I have a boyfriend who has lived together for a year. I originally planned to get married, but after spending a year together, I think how to drive him out of my house.
We are all divorced and we all have a daughter. My daughter follows his ex-husband, his daughter follows him, and now lives with her grandparents in her hometown.
I am a small leader of a chain store. He opened a tower crane at the construction site. We met through someone's introduction.
He fell in love with me at first sight as soon as he met. This is what he told me later, and I didn’t have a deep impression of him.
The two of them added contact information to each other. Did he chat with me and would take pictures of the scenery he saw on the tower crane to me, and gradually became familiar with me.
I have been divorced for several years. I was joking with me and many people wanted to approve me, but few people like him persist.
Later I agreed to her pursuit. When I first dated, I was very kind to me. I got up every morning to make breakfast. As long as he was at home, I never needed to cook.
And he didn't want me to wash dishes, he said that my hands are so beautiful, not for washing dishes and doing rough work. I felt very warm and moved when I heard it.
I remember when I was with my ex-husband, I did the work at home alone. Not only did I have to go to work, but I also had to do laundry and cook. He was macho and thought that housework was a woman's business, and a typical person who would not help the oil bottle fell.
So this contrast between my boyfriend made me feel love. I proposed to live together. After all, I have to plan to live together and live together and experience small things like food, oil and salt, and then I can see a person clearly.
I have a small house with two bedrooms and one living room in the city. He doesn’t have a house. I said you can move in my house and live with me. If you get married in the future, this is our wedding house.
He can get 8,000 to 10,000 yuan a month when working on the construction site. He told me that I would give 3,000 yuan in the future as living expenses, and he would also be responsible for the household use.
I think 3000 is actually enough because he still has a daughter to raise in his hometown, and his parents are older and need to raise them. I understand him.
At the beginning, it was very active in one or two months. He would transfer 3,000 yuan to me, but later it was gradually discounted, and sometimes it was only 1,500 yuan in a month.
He said that the wages at the construction site are not paid monthly. I said it doesn’t matter, and I have it. I also have seven or eight thousand yuan a month, and it’s more than enough to support both of us.
Originally, I thought that if he had always been so kind to me and loved me so much, it would be fine if I suffered some losses, but I found that his love was possession and control.
When I was working in the store, he would often make videos for me when I was at work. I am a young leader and usually educate the clerk not to play with mobile phones during working hours, so I naturally have to set a good example.
But he often called me videos and said he wanted to share with me the beautiful scenery he saw, but in fact I felt that he was more like surveillance.
Every time he showed me the surrounding scenery he saw, he asked me to show him the situation around me and the store. I didn't want to. After all, it was not good to open a video at work, but he felt that I was hiding because I had something to do and felt guilty.
I was speechless, and sometimes I simply hang up the video and stopped answering it.
result he was even more amazing. Once he went directly to our store and asked me if I was in the store and if I was there anyone else I was going to patrol the store.
Later, my colleague told me that a strange man called me to ask about my situation and asked very carefully, like a leader inspected.
I thought to myself that I have been in this store for more than ten years. The leader has never investigated my whereabouts like this, so it probably won’t be.
After returning home, my boyfriend suddenly asked me if I had gone out to patrol the store today. I realized that he made the call during the day.
I am very disgusted with this behavior of distrustting me. I quarreled with him about such a thing. I don’t know how many times he quarreled, but he has never learned it.
Once he saw me calling someone for about an hour, and then asked who I was. I said I was the leader, so he asked me if I was a male leader and asked me what I had to call for so long.
later became even more over-the-top and installed surveillance at home. He called it that he wanted to open the video at any time when he was tired of work.
In fact, he was just monitoring me, and I felt very uncomfortable. Originally, the home should be a place to relax, so why did he do this like a spy war drama?
Another time, my friend came to play at home. When we were chatting, I told her about some things between me and my boyfriend. My friend also felt that men were too controlling.
She advised me to break up and stop talking to him. My friend thinks that the two of them are so controlling now that they have just lived together. What is the degree to which they will be if they really get married?
As a result, this sentence may have been heard by him when he was watching the surveillance. He was very angry and thought that my friend was talking bad about her, so he asked me to break up with him, and then called me to scold my friend.
Because of this, my friend doesn’t dare to come to my house now. We had a good relationship. She accompanied me when we divorced. She also helped a lot when I bought the house.
For me, my friends are more like relatives. Even if they break up with their boyfriend, they will not give up on her kind of friends. After the incident of
, we did have less contact, but what I couldn't accept the most was my boyfriend's attitude towards my daughter.
My daughter follows her dad and only occasionally comes to live during holidays. That time I picked her up for a weekend. My daughter is already ten years old. She said she wants to sleep with me and sleep in the master bedroom.
Then I discussed with my boyfriend and asked him to go to the second bedroom. I wanted to sleep with my daughter, and I was the kind of person who discussed it with him with a angrily voice.
After all, it is not easy for a child to come once, but he refused directly. He said I don’t want to sleep in that small room. If you want to sleep with your daughter, you can just go to sleep in the small room.
That day, my daughter and I slept in a small room. Because my daughter was there, I didn’t get angry either, but I felt really uncomfortable. I felt that he did not regard my daughter as his daughter.
On the contrary, I treat his daughter very well. His daughter is in her hometown with her grandparents. When the holiday comes, I will take her to live there, take her to buy clothes and give her pocket money.
Our second bedroom was actually reserved for her. Every time I came, I would put on the bed sheets she liked and cleaned up very warmly because I felt sorry for this child, just like I felt sorry for my own daughter.
But I put my heart in mind, and my sincerity did not change my sincerity, so why should I do this? Originally, this house belonged to me, so my daughter couldn't come to live there at will.
Especially when I saw my daughter saying carefully: Mom, didn’t bother you and uncle. I feel so sad. This place was originally my daughter's home, and she doesn't need to be so careful.
Finally, I wanted to break up with my boyfriend, but he threatened me that if I broke up, I would go to trouble me and go to my place where I work.
Seeing his extreme thoughts, I was even more determined to break up.
Xiaoli, your decision is correct. A man is too extreme. Sooner or later, something happens when you are with him. Such a man is good at disguising himself. Once he is not satisfied, he will reveal his nature. Extreme people will be really scary.
I have met extreme people before, and they have a strong desire to control themselves. When they break up, they will hurt themselves, which will threaten them and make you feel guilty.
When you meet such a person, you really have to use violence to cure violence. You do things he hates every day, ask him to borrow money, and make him take the initiative to annoy you and think that you are not worthy of love, so that you can get rid of it.
