"Those who are interested will be tired, but those who are not interested will not care!"
Yes! There is no right or wrong relationship in this world, and it will not hurt people. Those who hurt people are those who have a lot of feelings.
So I would like to ask everyone a question: Is it really not good to focus on feelings?
I think this answer is not either or not. One of our most important abilities as a person is that we have feelings and we can express feelings.
Of course, in real life, we will also be trapped by love and hurt by love, but this cannot be said that it is a wrong thing to emphasize feelings.
It is never a mistake to take a relationship. On the contrary, it is a good thing to focus on feelings. But sometimes it is because we value relationships too much that we are prone to soft-heartedness, and soft-hearted people are more likely to be hurt.
Therefore, we often say that before we love others, we must learn to love ourselves.
once read this passage online: "When you feel tired of life, firstly because the pressure of life is getting greater and greater. The second deeper reason is that most of your efforts are not to live for yourself, but always putting others' needs first."
This is actually why people who value feelings are the most likely to be hurt, because you give 100% to others, and the other party may respond only 50%.
So, when the expected result is different from what you want, the harm will naturally occur. And the reason for this is because there are problems in the sorting of ourselves and others in our relationship.
One thing we need to know is that we deserve happiness and love. There is nothing wrong with relationships, there is nothing wrong with paying too much attention to relationships.
What is wrong is that everyone's commitment to this relationship is different.
In fact, sometimes we should learn more about Forrest Gump in "Forrest Gump". He is also a person who values feelings, but why can we live a happy and happy life?
is that he knows what should be ignored and what should be taken seriously by himself. It is precisely this that allows him to live his life well.
This may be the benefit of insensitivity.
If you think about it carefully, it is true that this is true. A person always needs to learn to take the initiative and be slow, especially those who value feelings. Because we are human beings, no matter how we grow up, we cannot control our feelings.
Since we cannot completely control our emotions, there will inevitably be positive and negative times. When we encounter such a situation, we might as well become a little slow.
Because many times, we hurt people because we are so fast that we say something that makes us regret without going through our brains.
So, in our lives, we might as well be a little dull, and maybe we will discover another world.
Just as there is a mantra in the martial arts novel " The Legend of the Condor Heroes ": "He can let him be strong, the breeze blows on the hills, he can be horizontal, and the bright moon shines on the river."
This is actually a kind of open-minded and indifferent mentality, that is, a mentality with insensitivity.
In fact, this is the case in a relationship, and you must also learn to have this mentality. Because there is nothing wrong with giving in a relationship, and there is nothing wrong with focusing on relationships. It is just that when we give, we cannot just give blindly.
You should know that sincerity only makes sense if you give it to the right person. We must learn to protect ourselves, rather than give our feelings without any bottom line.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with considering other people's feelings, but don't forget yourself. Because we want to learn to love ourselves so that we can love others better.
So, there is no right or wrong in relationships, it’s just that people are right or wrong. There is nothing wrong with being too important to have feelings, but we must learn to give appropriately. As long as we understand these things in this way, we can better achieve happiness.
text | Mingfusheng
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