01. Reader letter
Keywords: extramarital affairs
Hello Brother Kai, let me share my personal story, I have a family and a child .
I met a man who is neither particularly handsome, but also very humorous and funny.
He and I have a family and children. We have known each other for two months and we have a good impression of each other, so we are together.
We have had quarrels during our year together, although we have a goal for how we quarrel, that is, to come together and work hard to become a happy family.
I love him very much, I really love him the kind of that he loves to the core.
But we are about to get out of the way recently. was seen by his wife on her phone because the clothes he bought for me were on her phone. I don’t know what’s going on.
I don’t know if he has fought for us, so I sent him a WeChat message and didn’t reply to me.
I think I will divorce first, so that he can feel at ease , so that he can feel that I really want to be with him.
Suddenly he told me that it was impossible, that it was impossible for us both. I should be able to realize that this was what my family members forced him to do.
I was at a loss when I heard this. I was panicked. As long as he told me something impossible, I would be panicked.
I am afraid that he will leave me, I am really scared, I love him, I love him very much.
I'm afraid that I will die if I leave him , help me, what should I do ?
02. Kaizi replied
Hello, girl, you said you love him very much, love him to the core, and you are afraid that you will die if you leave him.
Let’s take a look at why this man is so deeply attracted to you.
1. The emotional value provided to you.
He is not handsome, but he is funny and humorous, which shows that he can provide you with enough emotional value, make you happy and bring you warmth.
2. You don’t need to enter life
Every adult who enters the family is inevitably troubled by family trivial matters, food, food, oil and salt.
sometimes makes people feel upset, with endless things and troubles.
And extramarital affairs are equivalent to freeing you from these worlds, which can allow you to gain temporary relaxation of your mind .
At this time, people will have an illusion that they think that this person understands him very much and is very happy to be with him.
In fact, it is not this person who really makes you happy, but when you are with him, you can think about nothing and care about nothing.
That is to say, attracts you to look like this person, but in fact it is a life state that temporarily frees you.
3. Suddenly he disappeared
There is a psychological state in psychology called "unfinished event", which means that the person around you suddenly leaves, or something suddenly stops, will make people feel deeply regretful and a strong desire to continue in their hearts.
This desire will make you difficult to give up and linger.
You think this is love, but in fact it is just a reluctance to the man suddenly disappear, a dissatisfaction with the sudden end of this matter, especially the confrontation with the frustration in your heart.
Then let’s take a look again, why did this man leave you?
1, freshness
You think it is love, but in his eyes it is just freshness.
Maybe he is not just humorous and funny with you, he is the same for everyone.
2, clear intention
Many men often do not leave their families even if they have extramarital affairs.
Because divorce is a matter of frequent injury to men.
Once divorced, he will not only lose a wife, but also the biological mother of his children. It is the logistics of a family and the guarantee of a comfortable life that can be used to make food for the rest of his life...
Moreover, many men will also face economic losses when divorced. Therefore, there are many men who cheat, but few men who really know how to divorce.
3. Self-protection
After he discovered that his relationship with you might have an impact on himself, he cut off the relationship with you without considering it.
You naively think that his family forced him to break up with you. He is an adult, who can force him?
He broke up with you, is just the most favorable decision he weighed the pros and cons. , and you are still deceiving yourself, you think he is in a difficult situation and is forced to separate from you.
is actually just him protecting himself and doesn't want to make himself too troublesome.
I hope every girl can view extramarital affairs rationally. This kind of relationship is an act that violates morality and ethics.
If you are just impulsive, learn to withdraw in time, Don’t fall into the sugar-coated shells of married men .
I don’t know what everyone will think of their relationship. Do you think she wants to divorce and wait for him? Can she really wait?
Welcome to express your views and opinions in the comment section below.
03. Reader letter
Keywords: Wife Mental cheating
Teacher, I found that my lover had mental cheating.
The other party is a senior executive of her company and is often wary of me asking each other about my well-being. I will definitely not say anything about
. The problem is that the other party cares more and is full of ambiguousness in his words.
I have told her that I mind this kind of thing very much. She also agreed to block the other party and no longer contact .
But recently I found out that she added his WeChat account and chatted again. said a few more words and said that I was suspicious and I couldn't pass it and got divorced.
Now I am also very confused. Should I continue to believe her?
04. Kaizi replied
Hello, Should you continue to believe her, it depends on whether you still want to continue to maintain this marriage with her.
First of all, we go and secretly look at each other's mobile phone, which means that there is a signal of distrust between you before this. I don't know why
does not trust it.
Generally speaking, A man will check his wife's mobile phone from time to time, which can indirectly reflect that you are a person with insufficient sense of security.
Maybe you still have a strong desire for control. Your wife can't feel cared for when she gets along with you, so she will accept the concern of her leader.
Judging from your wife's attitude towards you, she is not very persistent in her attitude towards your marriage.
may be in She is disappointed, dissatisfied, angry with you , but you haven't noticed these and are still asking whether you should believe her.The final result of
may not be whether you want to believe her, but whether she is still willing to accept your doubts and your indifference.
Another thing is mentioned in my course, we cannot look at the superficial reasons.
For example, many women naturally label the man as "Chen Shimei" when they see their husbands cheat.
But it is true that he cheated on the wrong party, and the attitude of being a wife in marriage is also very important to treat the marriage model. The same applies to men.
On the surface, the wife and the leader are concerned about their well-being, But in essence, your wife does not get you enough care and love at home.
If you care enough about her at home, how could she be easily moved by the men outside?
I often tell you that if you want to solve the problem, does not ask the other party to change it, but to reflect on yourself. What did you do to make the other party have such behavior . Only when
can do this can the relationship be eased and change.
Don’t think that the other party will not change, then what can I do to change? This idea will only make your relationship worse and worse.
I wonder what everyone will think of this relationship. Do you think he should continue to trust his wife?
Welcome to express your views and opinions in the message area.
If you have a partner you cannot trust like him, can send me private messages to me . I will help you analyze where the problem lies and what should you do.
