text | Zhu Sinyong
"After a man returns to his family, he uses his illegitimate child as an excuse and refuses to break up with San'er" There is a fatal misunderstanding in the question, which is also a mistake that many wives are prone to making. This problem is contradictory. Returning means returning. There is no situation where he still breaks with San'er after returning.
first, focusing on the end of extramarital relationships.
As mentioned above, since there is no return, the main focus of the moment should be on ending extramarital relationships.
No matter whether your marriage breaks down or not, no matter whether you want to divorce or not, there is only one main goal at the moment, which is to kill extramarital relationships.
Second, think clearly about the processing of illegitimate child .
The illegitimate child is a very headache, because later on, San'er can easily forcefully establish contact with men with the child.
However, this problem is not unsolvable, because many couples have to face the problem of raising children after divorce, so the problem of illegitimate children can also be dealt with in this state.
That is, if two people break up, there can be no contact between men and women, just do their best to do their duty to the children. This is how we deal with parent-child relationships and illegitimate children after divorce.
Third, discuss with my husband how to solve the problem of illegitimate child.
When many men face the problem of illegitimate children, they don’t know how to solve it. The wife needs to take the initiative to discuss with him and present a solution to let the husband know that his wife does not accept extramarital relationships using the child as an excuse.
Even if there is an illegitimate child, extramarital relationships must not exist.
fourth, I must break up with San'er with my husband.
Wife should let your husband see clearly his attitude, let him see clearly what damage and harm it will bring to your marriage if extramarital relationship continues to exist, and let the husband know his firmness. Since this man chose to return to his family, it means he is reluctant to leave and he should bravely demand the end of his extramarital relationship. If he does not end, he can put appropriate pressure on him.
Fifth, hold the "three wife talks".
Many wives are very afraid to face San'er because she is afraid that she is not as good as the other party and is afraid that the other party will suppress herself, but this step is very important.
You want San'er to see a man's attitude towards marriage, expose the lies of extramarital relationships, and let her see that she has paid a huge price, which will disappoint her.
let San'er see that even if she gave birth to an illegitimate child, the man did not have the idea of letting her become a regular person. Children can only trap women, not men.
Let San'er find your husband, question his true thoughts clearly, and break the benefits of her husband in the process of San'er's constant struggle.
When San'er was desperate, she gave her another step to let her see the benefits after ending her extramarital relationship. Let her see what better choices are there, get relief, get rebirth, and no longer get stuck in the quagmire.
Finally, if the wife tries hard to manage her extramarital relationship, but the husband is always unmoved and insists on three people, then his wife will re-examine whether the marriage is worth continuing to save.
The wife should do a good job in psychological construction and make a good choice: Which one can you accept in the marriage or divorce of the threesome?
sorted out the gains and injuries of the two situations one by one, set a time limit for yourself, so that you will no longer consume it when it comes, and firmly promote the divorce strategy.
communicate with your husband in advance about the divorce decision, the reasons for the rescue, the divorce incident, lifestyle after the divorce and the problems faced, etc.
often the more your wife has her own boundaries, and the more likely she will be to save the marriage, the more fruitful it will be.
Governing extramarital relationships is to save yourself, save children, and save marriage, not just focus on a piece of marriage, so that the war can be more powerful.
wonderful recommendation:
Why does a woman not cherish her men, and how can she make her take the initiative to give?
