Most people, no matter how smart they are, usually the starting point of marriage or the stage of love, are not so rational. After experiencing a process step by step, some people will have an epiphany, but some people are still obsessed with it and think that they are not lucky because they meet a scum. As adults, we must make ourselves live a clear life: we must be clear about what love is and how to love in order to be loved.
Everything in this world has to be paid for, including feelings. In fact, marriage failure is not scary. What is scary is that you haven’t figured out these things after separation.
The failure of marriage should not be the children or parents paying for it
At the previous hot search news, in order to force his wife to remarry himself, a man actually threw his two biological children into the river from a bridge more than ten meters high and died.
The inhumane man originally planned to throw all four children into the river. When he was thrown to the third one, he was stopped by a passing driver and called the police.
Of course, there are many similar cases, and many are women who hurt their children in order to revenge their husbands. At the same time, many people keep saying similar words in their children's ears, "It's not for you, I've divorced him long ago."
There are also some people who always complain about their parents when their marriage is not going well and they suffer all the grievances. You are not urging me to choose him? Whether it is a child or a parent, we should not become sinners of the failure of our marriage. What should be paid for is the failed relationship caused by our immaturity. What is needed is to find out the problems, understand the other party’s needs, and see clearly our own shortcomings, so that we can save or start a healthy relationship again.
Want to treat children as tools, in addition to making them sensitive, indifferent, and resisting intimate relationships, they may also distort their views on marriage. If they want to treat children as bargaining chips to threaten the other party, it can become a joke at the least, and at the worst, they have to pay the price of their lives. Whether it is the child or the perpetrator himself, it cannot help you repair your relationship and marriage at all.
So the failure of a marriage is really not terrible. What is terrible is that he refuses to face reality until the end and admits that his incompetence and shortcomings are what are they.
You can’t start a new relationship easily and quickly
Marriage is different from love. When you are used to a lifestyle in life and suddenly separate, some people choose to find someone to relieve loneliness because of loneliness; some people are determined to have others who have them in order to compete; some people are confused and don’t know what they want, and think that they are at this age, so just start first. Some people think that a new love is a good medicine to heal pain. Some people want to use Band-Aid to forget the reason for the pain, and there are also little thoughts to show the other party “good”, but when they don’t understand themselves and see clearly the other party’s clear needs, they start it hastily. Then, a new relationship is difficult to have positive value except for superimposing their own troubles.
Failure of marriage may not be principled, but also life habits and pursuit of ideas, so they may be good people, but they may not be suitable for couples to live. Therefore, if you don’t have to worry about failure in a marriage, you are afraid of using new mistakes to cover up old mistakes. The final result will only be more troublesome and hurt more people.
Parenting, economy, housework, the personality, profession of both husband and wife, and even their respective diets. These things that seem to be unrelated to love are the yardsticks that need to be considered, because getting along with each other every year, quarrels or love are the core of life.
cannot understand this and start the relationship hastily. Future failure and misfortune are far more than the first failed marriage.
Divorcery is not the end, learning to solve problems is the fundamental
Divorcery is a choice, proving that it is the end of the broken relationship of relationship, but it will not be the end of the problem.
Whether to choose to leave this person and give up this relationship is just a single decision. If you cannot find a way to learn to solve the problem conflict, then no matter who you choose in the future, history will basically repeat itself. To be honest, you do not have the ability to solve the problem, and it will be the same for many partners to change.
The conflicts and contradictions in relationships are some of the self-conflicts, but more often they are due to the lack of love ability. Only by realizing that we need to find a solution to the problem and have this awareness of correct response can we not become victims and cannon fodder in the "emotional battle" and become the unfortunate star again.
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(author: Xiaoyu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at restoring and restoring romantic relationships, marriage conflicts and differences, and spiritual trauma healing caused by original ecological families. In a lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their gender skills, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
