Text: Zhao Yi (famous teacher of traditional culture)
Once I went to Lianyungang . There was a shop opposite the sleeper car in my sleeper. I was about fifty years old and already a grandmother. I was very talkative and said she was puzzled. Why did Tang Minghuang execute Yang Guifei ? What she meant was that since Emperor Minghuang of Tang loved her so much, he would rather not let her die than let her die.
Obviously, this is a woman who treats men, and her thinking has great limitations. On the other hand, it also shows that no matter how old a woman lives, she always has unrealistic fantasies about love, which is a common problem for women.
Desire for a man to love himself for the rest of his life and always treat himself as a treasure is the fantasy of every woman, which also determines the tragedy of many women.
Most men are rational. When choosing a partner, it is the first thing they need to do is to reproduce and educate their offspring, and to take care of their parents.
He needs a woman and him to form a family, as the smallest cell in society, to reflect his value well. When he went out to work, he made contributions to society, and earned a considerable income for his family, maintaining family stability, filial piety to his parents and raising offspring.
He needs women to affirm him, appreciate him, provide him with motivation, and affirm his social value. Of course, this family not only refers to the two worlds, but also includes relatives from both sides. Only when both men and women truly assume their respective responsibilities will they successfully complete their lives. Therefore, it is obviously impossible for a woman to dream of a man to be centered on herself in everything.
So the most important thing for a woman to choose a lifelong partner is to see whether she has a sense of responsibility, not how much she loves herself. A wise woman first sees whether a man is responsible, rather than making a vow to him. It is precisely because many women see men following their feelings that there are so many infatuated women who are unfaithful!
Even the extremely smart Zhang Ailing , he looks at the evil in human nature very deeply, and follows his own feelings, rather than starting from the sense of responsibility that a man should have.
Zhang Ailing said that a woman loves a man, no matter what the man treats others, even if he is a murderer, she only cares about how he treats herself. To put it bluntly, this is the biggest deficiency and flaw of a woman, and Zhang Ailing herself happened to have not walked out of or surpassed this deficiency and flaw, leaving many regrets in her life.
A man’s nature is first of all, a responsibility to society, and requires men to revolve around him. This idea itself is problematic. In fact, men who can contribute to society often can support the sky for their homes and give women lasting happiness.
Those sweet words that say that you love a woman for a lifetime and give a little favor to a woman is usually easy to impress a woman at first and deceive a woman's heart, but once the goal is achieved, you can change the cannon immediately.
Men like profit rather than righteousness, and are little men at heart. Why can they usually win the favor of women at the beginning? Because he caters to women's self-centered love fantasy.
. The first thing to look at a man is whether he has a strong sense of social and family responsibility, rather than putting you first. A man without a sense of social responsibility may not stand up and cannot gain social respect. How can he manage his career and family well in his long life and fulfill the responsibilities of a man throughout his life?
Only the stupidest woman will ask: When your mother and I fall into the river, who do you save first? Such a woman must live in a vacuum. When he guesses your thoughts and tells you to save you first, he is no longer human.
He lie for the immediate benefit. If a woman can give him the wealth and power he wants, he can abandon any moral principles and have no bottom line in doing things. For such a person, once there is a greater benefit in the hands of another woman, he will repeat the same trick, abandoning the former and moving towards the latter without hesitation.
So in the exchange of interests, it is impossible to have true feelings. For these people, the "utilization value" of women's status and other "status" are just the dots they show off to the world, and their feelings are beyond their reach.
Only when a woman knows men truthfully can she truly understand love, position herself well, wake up from the illusory love dream, and get truly lasting happiness.
has unrealistic fantasies about love, which is a common problem for many women.
Excerpted from "Good Mom First, and Good Children Next" (written by Zhao Yi)
