Text/Xiamo
01, Volume Start
From love to marriage, just like the filter suddenly disappears, everything returns to its truest form.
Really enters marriage, whether it is a man or a woman, there will be some gaps and you will find that each other is not as good as you imagined.
When the mentality changes, the pattern of getting along between husband and wife will also change.
There is a passage in "Jane Eyre": "Love is a game. You must always be incompatible with the other party and be evenly matched in order to stay in harmony for a long time. Because too strong opponents make people tired, and too weak opponents make people tired." It is easy for couples to get along with each other. may be an imbalance in economic income, an imbalance in paying, an imbalance in taking on responsibilities at home...
When marriage is unbalanced, it is often easy to break, and it is easy to be centrifuged between husband and wife.
There are several signs when couples get along, which means that the husband looks down on you and your relationship is unequal.
02. It takes for granted to your wife at home and is a good love. When men and women get along, they both show an equal state.
In daily life, we will also try our best to take into account the other person’s feelings and work hard to make the efforts between each other reach a balanced state.
When the relationship between husband and wife is unequal, it can be seen from the sharing of housework.
Men do not share housework, never give in, and think that their wife should bear all the things at home, which is a phenomenon of looking down on her.
Luo Ziqun in " My First Half of Life " has her life after marriage. She also wants to make money to support her family and take care of her children. When her family is in financial difficulties, she also has to borrow money from her sister and husband's house.
The husband Bai Guang is lazy and greedy. He counts on his wife for everything, and he also feels that his wife is not good enough. He cursed at her every moment, and he felt that as her wife, he should take on these things naturally.
Luo Ziqun felt particularly wronged, confused about her life, and lost confidence in her marriage many times, which eventually led to her having the idea of divorce.
If, men always think that housework is the wife’s duty, no matter how busy the wife is, she should do housework well. Then, it means he doesn't care about her enough.
When a man feels that housework at home has nothing to do with him. Then, in his subconscious, he has positioned his wife as the attribute of "nanny". He is no longer an equal position.
03. I often blame my wife for not even doing a small thing well
Love is appreciation, recognition, and even understanding. When a man begins to look down on his wife, his words often contain denial of her.
Men always subconsciously deny their wife, thinking that she can't do anything well.
cook, but I feel that the food is not clean; if I pour a glass of water, I can't adjust the appropriate temperature. The shirt is not ironed flat, the tie is not neatly...
No matter what his wife does, he can always pick out the mistakes and use a tone of contempt and contempt to accuse her and attack her, making his wife become more and more inferior. Even, it makes the wife feel disappointed in her life.
Women, in marriage, if they have never been recognized by their husbands, become more and more humble, and often deny themselves, it is often because their husband likes to complain and is always full of denial of her.
The unequal relationship between husband and wife will make women's lives more and more painful.
Because, a woman’s sense of self-worth will gradually decrease. In marriage, women gradually become more and more humble in themselves.
However, as she continues to make efforts, she cannot get the affirmation of her husband, and the status between husband and wife gradually becomes unbalanced, she will also lose confidence in the marriage.
04. The wife is at home and has no freedom and confidence to spend money
Venus wrote in "Speedy": "Love can be talked about with aside life, but marriage is not good at all. Marriage is life."
In the life of food, food and salt, "money" cannot be separated from "money".Whether the status between two people is equal can actually be seen from money.
When a woman is at home and does not have the freedom and confidence to spend money, it means that her marriage status is not high.
When the relationship between two people is not equal, men may feel that they make more money and are habitually controlling everything at home. And because a woman is at home and has no income, she may fall into a passive position.
When a man makes a lot of money and looks down on his wife, he will not give her the right to take charge of finances.
Usually, the wife spends money outside and is very confident and worried about being criticized by her husband. Even if she buys some daily necessities, she can spend some normal consumption.
The more respect the wife’s efforts and know how to cherish her, the more willing the man is to spend money on her. In addition, she is willing to take the initiative to hand over the money to her wife, so that she can feel safe and free in her married life.
05. Summary
Women, you must also learn to manage yourself by managing your marriage. Only when you are better can you be respected.
In marriage life, we must maintain the principles of equality and freedom, and we cannot simply use the ability to make money or other conditions to define who should become the "ruler" of our family.
Both of them have the responsibility to bear the housework, and the money they earn needs to be distributed by the two of them.
Couples should encourage each other and learn to appreciate and recognize each other. At the same time, you must also manage yourself with your heart.
Because when you become excellent, you will become more attractive. Then, your lover will love you more and respect you more.
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Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional tutor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
