There are many things that cannot be predicted in reality. When middle-aged widows, you need to face them alone and bear them at any time. Only you can understand the central acid!
People who leave have no worries, but living people have to face the various things in the world, with old people and young people, no deposits and only debts. plus the cost of children making up for classes is getting higher and higher, and the pressure is unimaginable.
Some single mothers think of finding a companion to help share and raise their children. So will anyone raise other people's children in reality?
Blind date story from a 51-year-old single mother
I am the only daughter of the family. My parents have pensions and their lives are OK. I have always been like a flower living in a greenhouse. I have never suffered any hardships. At the age of my marriage, I met my husband through someone else's introduction. At that time, he looked handsome, had a formal staffing, and could make people happy, so we got married soon.
A few months after marriage, his shortcomings were revealed. He had no other problem but liked to drink. I could understand that sometimes he went out for social events and could not avoid drinking. But he usually drinks alcohol as water at home. I often say that he doesn't listen, and I dare not tell my parents, for fear that their parents would worry about me. Over time, my anger was stuffy in my heart and led to illness.
Because he loves to drink, I got sick again, so I postponed my child. I didn’t give birth to my son until I was 37 years old. Because no one takes care of my son, became a full-time mother in order to take care of my son. I didn’t have the previous constraints on my husband. I devoted myself to my son. He didn’t pay attention to his health and went out to drink with friends all day long. Until my son was 13 years old, my husband died of cirrhosis .
Before I could be sad, I took on the burden of my family from my full-time mother. After dealing with his incident, I started looking for a job, with a monthly salary of 3,000 yuan. After working for a while, I quit my job because I was too far away from my home, but after I had no job, my son’s monthly tutoring costs of several thousand yuan was overwhelming.
Fortunately, my parents can help me and my life can still be settled. Just this year, my father also died of illness. My mother gave me more than 2,000 yuan in monthly pension, which is not enough. I want to find a job, but I don’t have any skills and I’m too helpless. I listen to my friend’s advice to find a man to live with and take care of each other.
I also know that most men will not be willing to raise other people's children, but I always want to try it because my parents leave me a house and I own a house. In the future, my son will not need to be burdened by the man when he gets married. As long as my son finishes college, I will be relaxed.
So, I mustered up the courage to find the matchmaker. After she learned about all my situation, she asked me what kind of man I wanted to find?
I smiled bitterly for a while and said, as long as I can afford the cost of my son's schooling and be kind to us, mother and son sincerely.
According to the matchmaker, Brother Xue is a hardworking and hardworking person. He planted more than 10 acres of land in the countryside, earning more than 30,000 yuan a year. After the busy farming period, he would go out to work and earn some money. The annual income is about 70,000 yuan. , and his family also planted a lot of vegetables and fruit trees. He wanted to find a widowed person who can live a sincere life.
After listening to the matchmaker's introduction, I thought that the countryside felt a little uncomfortable, but I saw that the rural decoration on TV was the same as in the city, so I felt relieved. is mainly good.
When I learned from the matchmaker that he didn't mind my situation, I was still very happy, so I dressed up carefully at home and went to his house to meet with the matchmaker.
It didn't rain when I went there, and it started raining heavily halfway. Because the short skirt I was wearing felt very cold, when we arrived at the gate of his yard, he ran over with an umbrella and said, "Why don't you bring an umbrella? Don't catch a cold, hurry up and go to the house to warm up!"
His heartwarming words were like a warm current flowing into my heart. I smiled and said, "Thank you!"
After we entered the house, we introduced ourselves to each other. I feel that we can't get along with his image, so we are one year apart. It gives people the feeling that he is too old, about 10 years older than me.
After the matchmaker knew what I mean, he advised me: "Brother is working for a long time and working outside is very dark. In fact, he is a good person, and he is quite satisfied with you, you can learn more about it."
I nodded and planned to get along with him more. He happily took me to visit his house and said that it would be decorated in the future. After looking at it for a while, I didn't find the bathroom at home
He pointed to the open-air toilet outside and said, "It's there, bring you an umbrella and go there."
I was surprised on the spot. Generally, the bathroom is in the house. His home is very different from the rural areas I imagined. Generally, the decoration in rural areas is similar to the urban areas. His living environment is so bad that I don’t want to talk about it in an instant.
He was unhappy when I saw me and said, "It's nice to go to the field to pick something. If it doesn't rain later, I'll pick some vegetables for you to go back."
I said politely, "No need, you can cook some hot water for me, it's quite cold!"
After a while, he was holding the hot water and holding a coat for me. It gave people a feeling of heartwarming. If he could afford the expenses of my son, it would be nice to live with him.
So I planned to talk to him openly and honestly. I said, "You should know my situation, I have a 14-year-old son, and when I need money, some people still care about it. I wonder what you think?"
He said, "I have had two marriages. My second wife's son needs money because something happened to his car and I immediately got 50,000 yuan. I don't have to forget the change I usually give. Since the two are together, we have to fulfill the responsibility of the father "
I said, "You are such a good person, very responsible, do it. It's already great that the stepfather can do this."
He said sadly: "So what's good to her children? We have been together for 7 years, and she has not raised money and treated me well. We work together and come back to cook together. Later, when his son got married, I also gave him 30,000 yuan. After his daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, she asked her to go to Hebei to take care of the children. After we went there, we couldn't contact him. Later, we learned that her son would not let her come back, so we broke up like this... "
I comforted him and said, "You are a good person. No matter what the other party thinks, at least you have a clear conscience, right?"
He said, "I know a little about your situation, If we can really get together, your child is my child. Although he is a stepfather, I must be responsible and give you a complete home, but I am powerless. The school fee is so high now, and your son is still so young. In the future, the cost of marriage is not a small fee. If I give all my money to help you raise your son, what should I do if he kicks me away when I get old? I don't want to be a sucker! "
I said, "It's okay, I admit that my son costs money, and I usually care a lot, and it's not that I just want to raise a kitten and puppy just spend a few dollars. "
He said, "You should find someone with a pension in the city. I am really powerless and do some hard work."
His rejection was as expected by me. After all, he is indeed limited in ability, and his living environment is too poor, and it is not suitable for my son to live. I said, "Then I wish you to find someone who will stay with you as soon as possible!"
This blind date failed as I expected. No one was willing to raise my son. My thoughts are indeed a little selfish and I only considered myself. I thought about instead of taking his son to live on others and living on others, I have to look at other people's faces, and I will be wronged.
It is better to be independent and self-reliant, create a better living environment for children, and educate them well. After my child gets married and starts a career, I will consider my old age!
