still remember the hot searches on the Internet?
economician xue Zhaofeng expressed a point in a program, which aroused discussions among many netizens.
He said:
"Women are short-sighted to ask for a dowry, and it should depend on the boy's ability."
A stone caused a thousand layers of waves, and a sentence aroused heated discussion among netizens.
What did you think of when it comes to bride gifts?
Someone said:
"Borrow gift is face. If you give me a bride gift, it seems that both of our families have face."
Some people say:
"What I want is not a dowry, but a man's attitude; I don't even want to give a dowry, so why do you say I love me?"
Some people also say:
"Don't have a dowry, nor do you give a dowry. Everything is simple and does not require so much sense of ritual."
In fact, the issue of bride gifts has been discussed all the time, but there is still no unified behavior.
Because the dowry itself cannot be carried out in a "regular manner".
-01
In fact, the right to decide on the betrothal gift belongs to the "woman"
According to the provisions mentioned in the " Marriage Law ", what does the betrothal gift belong to? It is a "conditional gift".
Since it is a gift, it must belong to the woman, and it belongs to the woman’s property before marriage.
That is to say:
Regardless of whether the girl brings the dowry back to her small family after marriage, no matter how the girl controls the money, the decision is with the woman.
After getting married, the girl treats the money as her own private money and is unwilling to take it out. This is legal;
Girls leave the bride gift to their parents, but their parents do not bring the money back, which is legal;
After getting married, the girl uses all the bride gifts in a small family and uses them with her husband, which is reasonable. Have you understood
? The destination and decision-making power of
The bride price is in the hands of girls.
Even if the dowry is given to the woman before marriage, it belongs to her private property.
Someone may ask:
What have men got when it comes to getting married?
Why do men pay so much but don’t get the corresponding stuff? This is the case with the marriage and love market. This is the unspoken rule that everyone has acquiesced to for a long time. It cannot be shaken by one or two people.
-02
The essence of the dowry has exceeded the scope of "men and women's rights"
In other words:
The dowry issue is not an emotional issue, nor a problem of equal rights between men and women, but an economic issue and a market issue.
Another circle, what is the essential problem of the man giving a bride gift?
is essentially caused by the general environment where there are more men and fewer women.
You don’t give the woman a bride gift, but there are men in the marriage and love market that give the woman a bride gift;
You give the woman a bride gift, but there are a lot of boys in the marriage and love market that are willing to give high bride gifts;
If you want to get married, you have to pay this price unless you choose to be single.
What determines the dowry is the market environment, not the individual.
Even if the dowry is cancelled, there will be something else to replace it without the dowry.
At that time, there may be another one: get off fee, take-up fee, tea and water fee, etc.
So, what is the fundamental problem of solving the bride price?
is the difference in the proportion of men and women, and the number gap between men and women is getting smaller and smaller, which can shake the problems in the marriage and love market.
Under what circumstances will two people break up because of the dowry issue?
Situation 1:
Boys have poor conditions and really can't get the bride price requested by the woman; girls don't give in, and one point is a problem with your attitude.
State 2:
The boys have the conditions, but the woman is unwilling to bring the bride gift back, but leave it to her parents for her parents to buy a house for her brother to get married in the future.
Situation 3:
The woman did not give the corresponding dowry.
Generally speaking, isn’t it the case of these pictures?
-03
Is it "short-sighted" for women to ask for a bride price?
Return to the words of economist Xue Zhaofeng: "Women are short-sighted to ask for bride prices, and they should pay attention to men's ability to continue to produce." The sentence
is very subtle.
We can take a look at it separately:
The stronger the man's ability, what does it mean?
means that he has good conditions, good career and high income.
Even if his native family conditions are average, the stronger the ability of a man to change his native family.
That is to say:
Girls face two choices: whether to choose a bride gift and leave a guarantee for themselves; or to choose potential stocks, choose boys with outstanding abilities, and take a long line to catch big fish.
Girls openly ask for a bride gift in order to gain respect.
What kind of behavior is the most disgusting?
is the kind of "double standard" girl.
said while: "I don't care about money, but the dowry is your attitude."
said, "Our bride gifts are all 300,000 yuan, you only give me 100,000 yuan, and you obviously have no attitude."
In fact, the reason why the problem of bride gifts is magnified is that there are such people.
From the perspective of love and marriage itself:
Danging is a spiritual need;
Marriage is a material need and a value exchange.
Do you understand this logic?
Simply put, it is:
If you are in love with someone you truly love, you don’t have that much thought about the issue of bride gifts.
Because two people in love will consider each other.
Boys don’t care about the dowry, and girls are reluctant to ask for too many dowry, so in the end both parties simply go through the motions, which is the best state.
People who get married for the sake of getting married are originally engaged in a "marriage transaction".
At this time, the amount of dowry, how much dowry, and how to distribute it will become a question of debate.
(Popular Male Standard)
Smart girls will pay more attention to men's abilities, which is true.
Because of strong abilities, good personality and good character, boys often live a bad life.
and boys with poor ability, bad personality, bad character, and bad original family, even if you give you more gifts, do you dare to ask for them?
Parents and families with large structures will tacitly contribute to their children's newlywed families and help them more.
Only people with small structures will keep an eye on the bride price in front of them.
Today’s topic:
What do you think of Xue Zhaofeng’s words?
Do you think there should be a bride gift?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
