①
My name is Wang Fang, I am 50 years old this year. I have a son, 27 years old, after graduating from graduate school, and now works in Shenzhen.
When my son was six years old, my child’s father and I divorced. No bloody plot. It was just that the two of them disliked each other and couldn't stand it anymore, and then they decided to let each other go.
After the divorce, I kept taking my son alone.
Single mothers have a hard time. I make money alone to support my family. I have suffered a lot and suffered a lot over the years. But I gritted my teeth and persevered.
What makes me most relieved is that my son is very sensible and hasn't worried me much since I was a child. I have been smooth sailing, gotten admitted to university and graduate school.
I used to run a clothing store myself. In my early years, the business was always good, but later, under the impact of online shopping, the business became more and more difficult to do.
But fortunately, the saddest days have passed.
After my son passed the postgraduate entrance examination, I simply closed the store. I found a job in a supermarket near my home. The income is not high, just to do something. After retiring, I stopped going to work after I had my pension.
②
Since my son left home in college, I have been alone at home except during holidays. After a long time, I can’t help being lonely.
One morning two years ago, when I woke up, I suddenly felt dizzy. After a long time of rest, I slowly got up. That day, I suddenly realized that I was really old.
I think an important sign when a person gets older is that he hopes that someone can accompany him. I had the idea of finding an old partner.
My son and I have always had a good relationship. Soon, I told my son what I thought. The son expressed support. He said to me, "Mom, you should have found a companion for a long time."
Under someone's introduction, I met Lao Wu.
Lao Wu is 5 years older than me and works in a public institution. Have had two marriages. The first wife died in an accident in the third year after marriage. The second wife was suspicious of him all day long, and he couldn't stand it anymore and divorced his wife 7 years ago. The two have a daughter who is in college. After the divorce, I have been living with her mother.
Lao Wu and I are quite satisfied with each other. After several months of contact, we moved together. We tacitly did not register.
When we reach our age, we are together just to have a companion. Have someone to accompany you. There is someone who can eat and walk with you, and there is someone who can care about you, that's all.
③
When Lao Wu and I were together, we agreed that our children of both parties will be responsible. Before
we each had our own house. Lao Wu’s house is in a prime location in the city center, more than 70 square meters, and the house is a bit old, on the fifth floor, and there is no elevator.
My house is in the new district. It is the elevator house I have replaced in three years, with a temperature of more than 120 square meters. Although it is a little bigger, Lao Wu's house has a double school district, so if the house price is calculated, his house will be a little more valuable.
After we were together, Lao Wu moved to my house and rented out his house. Rent is used to supplement our daily expenses.
I don’t know what kind of person Lao Wu was before. But at least he is with me, he does a good job in all aspects. He knows how to be considerate and will take the initiative to help me with housework.
He can accompany me on two stops to the morning market to buy cheap dishes. I am also willing to take me to attend his class reunion.
Except for giving my daughter 2,000 yuan a month to live, all the other income is left to me to control. It only costs 600 yuan a month to spend on pocket money, which is used to refuel, pay phone bills, etc.
Knowing that I don’t like the smell of cigarettes, he quit smoking too.
Although I like to drink some wine, I am very restrained, the kind that I have a bottle of beer every night.
He must wear the uniform outfit of the unit at work and rarely buys clothes. He wears whatever I buy for him, never picky.
For my hobbies, such as dancing, yoga, etc. He never stopped. But I am willing to hold me and play chess with him if I have nothing to do.
I am quite satisfied with this kind of life anyway.
Lao Wu and I have been together for almost 2 years, and although life is inevitably a little bumpy. But overall, we had a great time. We both enjoy our current life.
But unexpectedly, our peaceful life was broken with the remarriage of Lao Wu's ex-wife.
④
Lao Wu’s daughter is about to graduate from college. His ex-wife decided to remarry and married a Danish man. And I'm going to live in Denmark with that person.
Lao Wu's daughter is unwilling to follow her mother to Denmark. The responsibility of taking care of his daughter naturally fell on Lao Wu.
I thought, it was nothing. His daughter is about to graduate from college and still doesn’t know where to work in the future. Even if you work around, it doesn’t matter. Such a big child doesn’t need to worry about it. It’s just one more person to eat.
What's more, she may not be willing to live there.
can only say that my thoughts are beautiful, but the reality is skinny.
When Lao Wu's daughter just graduated, Lao Wu asked her to help her arrange a job. Because the work location is near my home, Lao Wu discussed with me whether he could move over to live with us.
I thought that she was Lao Wu’s daughter after all, and seeing that Lao Wu treats me well, I naturally cannot refuse. What's more, the child is so old that he has been sensible for a long time. There should be no contradiction.
But from the first day his daughter moved in, I regretted it a little.
⑤
I like to be cleaner and have a slight obsession with cleanliness. When I bought this house before, because my son was older, I specially chose a three-bedroom and two-bathroom house to avoid embarrassment.
Because my son always takes a bath and solves the battle in five minutes. So I only installed a bathtub at that time, in the bathroom in the master bedroom.
The day when Lao Wu's daughter moved in, she said that she had sweated a lot when packing things and was a little tired and wanted to take a bath. I asked her to go to the bathroom in the master bedroom.
She soaked for more than half an hour, and after she came out with a refreshed look, she went back to her room.
When I wanted to take a shower at night, I walked into the bathroom and was stunned. The bathtub was filled with her long hair and the foam she used to have not washed out. The ground and the walls were covered with water stains, and she didn't clean them up at all. The hair dryer was placed on the sink, and the power supply was not even pulled out.
The comb also hangs her hair without cleaning.
To be honest, if my own son had done this, I would have cursed him long ago. But she is Lao Wu's daughter, and it was the first day she came, so I can't say much.
So I could only force myself, take a few deep breaths, then put on my gloves and start cleaning up.
After I finally packed it up, it was already very late. I could only take a shower and go to bed quickly.
⑥
I said nothing to Lao Wu during the unhappiness on the first night.
I was still calm in the next few days. Although she didn't do anything, she didn't talk much. Most of the time, she stayed in her room and didn't come out very much. She doesn't care about eating, she eats whatever I do.
A few days later, she started to go to work. On the first day, I complained to Lao Wu that the unit was too remote and there was no traffic. I can't even get a taxi. She asked Lao Wu to buy her a car. Old Wu frowned immediately. It is difficult for me to participate too much in the affairs of their father and daughter. So I said nothing.
Lao Wu still felt sorry for his daughter. Although he did not agree to buy her a car, the next day, he asked his daughter to drive his own car to work. Then I got up half an hour early and went to squeeze into the bus to work.
Although I didn't say anything, I still felt very uncomfortable.
The place where her daughter works is indeed a bit remote. But it is still quite close to my house. Even if I walk, it takes less than half an hour to arrive.
I couldn't help but think that if it were my son, at such a distance, he would at most offer to buy an electric car. Of course, more, I feel sorry for Lao Wu.
⑦
Since Lao Wu’s daughter went home, she would complain to Lao Wu almost every day, either because the lunch and meals in the unit were unpalatable and she could not order takeaway, or because her colleagues in the unit bullied her as a newcomer, and asked her to run errands all over the factory, etc. I just complain that my work has no future.
Before she came, Lao Wu and I were happy every day, each of us was busy with our own affairs.
Now listening to her complaining every day, I feel that the air pressure in the whole house has become lower.
In the past, I would practice yoga at home for a while after dinner every night. Since she came, in order to avoid embarrassment, I would go out and take a walk in the community after dinner. Leave some space for his father and daughter. Let them say something private.
Lao Wu said that his daughter was spoiled and raised, so she was a little pretentious and lazy, so she asked me to forgive her.
I can actually understand it. Such a child has always been taken care of by his own mother, so he will naturally be a little more delicate, which is normal. I just need to clean up.
No matter what, the child is a little lazy and doesn’t like to be clean. But he has always been quite polite to me. His mouth is quite sweet too. Occasionally, I will act coquettishly towards me. This has benefited me very much.
The biggest difference between boys and girls should be here. My son has been 10 years old and has refused to even let me hug him. Not to mention acting cute with me.
After graduating from elementary school, he never went out with me except to buy him clothes.
Although he has been young since he was a child, he is willing to say anything to me.
But since junior high school, he refused to let me wash his underwear. Occasionally, the underwear he hung dry is dry, and I will help him collect it and he will be unwilling to do so.
⑧
The job Lao Wu found for her daughter. She only worked for two months and refused to go again.
The reason is that every day I am like a typing robot sitting in front of a computer, and I really have no future.
With her resignation, my life with Lao Wu was completely overwhelmed.
Since this child resigned, he has not been able to go out to find a job. Lao Wu told her, if you don’t want to go to work, then you can study at home, take the civil service exam, or take the postgraduate exam.
She agreed, but after buying the book, she didn't read a page. Every day I lie in bed playing with my phone, and don’t sleep in the middle of the night, and I slept until noon every day before getting up.
Since she moved in, in order to avoid embarrassment, I specially bought a new washing machine for her to use alone. She also thinks it's pretty good.
She will throw dirty clothes into her washing machine on her own. But she would throw dirty socks, underwear, and her coat and trousers into the washing machine to wash them together.
Sometimes you don’t take out the clothes in time to dry them after washing them. Once when I found out, I had been in the washing machine bucket for 3 days. When I turned on the washing machine, a musty smell came over me and I almost didn't suffocate.
⑨
, that's all, she wears it herself anyway, she can wash the handles as she wants. I endured it. I can tolerate it. At most, I would like to remind her not to forget to dry her clothes.
I like the clean and clean house. Before, when she went to work during the day, I would clean her room while she was at work. But it is limited to simple cleaning and will never touch any of her items. Just wipe the dust and mop the floor.
But since she quit her job and stayed at home, she has been staying in her room every day. I was embarrassed to go in and clean her. She never cleans herself.
I can't bear it occasionally. I will go to her room while mopping the floor, but she doesn't even raise her eyelids and can't even move her slippers.
I can’t talk to her directly, so I asked Lao Wu to tell her that she would wipe the windowsill and the cabinet by herself. But she said naively, "This is not dirty at all, why should I wipe it?"
There is no other way, so in the end I can only ask Lao Wu to clean her room.
⑩
I have tolerated it again and again for hygiene issues. Just control yourself and not go to her room.
Since she didn't go to work, she went out to play at night every few days and had various classmate reunions. I came back very late every time, and I even came back several times until three or four in the morning.
She is a girl, and she goes out at night. How can Lao Wu, a father-in-law, rest assured? She must wait for the door. Seeing that she hadn't come back too late, Old Wu would call her, but every time she called her, she would be impatient.
Every time she comes back, she looks at Lao Wu hanging on the sofa in the living room waiting for her to have the door. Not only does she not apologize at all, but she also feels Lao Wu is too annoyed.
I have always been sleeping lightly. Every time Lao Wu waits for her to have a door in the living room, I actually can't sleep well. Looking at Lao Wu's listless look the next day, I felt even more distressed.
⑪
doesn’t work, but the money is spent a lot.
Lao Wu's daughter has lost her income since she resigned. All overheads are only responsible for us.
When I was in school, Lao Wu gave her 2,000 yuan a month to live.
I thought that she was at home now and no longer at work, so the expenses should not be that high. It would be enough to give her another 2,000 yuan in pocket money a month.
But unexpectedly, she spent 2,000 yuan in less than half a month. When she had no money, she would reach out to ask her mother for it and Lao Wu for it.
Every time she asks her mother for money, Lao Wu's ex-wife will call to get angry with Lao Wu. She thinks that I must be stingy and treat her daughter harshly.
She felt that I must have subsidized all the money to my own son. The conscience of heaven and earth, my son has never asked for the living expenses I gave him since his senior year. Not only do I not need to subsidize him. Every year during the Chinese New Year, he would also send me red envelopes.
The monthly expenses of Lao Wu’s daughter have brought considerable financial pressure to our lives.
Lao Wu has reached this age and is about to retire. There is no room for improvement at work. Although the income of a public institution is stable, the income per month is fixed. Although I retired, my retirement salary was not much. In addition to the rent of Lao Wu’s house, there is only so much disposable money per month. Originally, the money was enough to deal with the expenses of Lao Wu and me. But since his daughter came, we have to plot against flowers every month.
I do have some savings on my hands, and my son is also very filial to me. But my son is working in Shenzhen now, and he will get married in the future, buy a house, and there are many places that require money. Although his father can give him some, I, as a mom, must prepare for him.
⑫
Lao Wu's daughter has been here to live with us for half a year.
I don’t like many things, but that’s not my daughter after all. I don’t say it’s deep, nor do I say it’s shallow. For the sake of Lao Wu's face, I endured it again and again. I really couldn't stand it, so I asked Lao Wu to complain about it and asked him to talk about his daughter.
I can see that Lao Wu is almost tolerant of her daughter.
Before his daughter came, Lao Wu lived a comfortable and comfortable life. In the past, he would occasionally help me with some housework, but most of the time, I cleaned my house. I'm a little slight obsession with cleanliness. Old Wu also likes to look at the spotless appearance at home.
But since his daughter came, after his daughter took a shower every day, Lao Wu had to help her clean up the mess. Go and clean up the long hair and water stains everywhere in the bathroom. Lao Wu said to her several times, but she never changed.
In order to avoid my discomfort, Lao Wu had to clean it up by himself. In addition, I have to help her clean the room.
Lao Wu and I both like to be clean and tidy at home, but since his daughter came, she has thrown things everywhere. After using things, they will put them around everywhere and will never be put back.
She has this ability, and within a few minutes, she makes her home mess.
Originally, I had a small cloakroom. My clothes are neatly hung inside.
But since his daughter came, she has too many clothes and can't put them in the room, so I made a cabinet for her in the cloakroom.
But she is capable, and has occupied half of my cloakroom in half a year, and has also messed up the cloakroom. If you can't find the clothes, you will rummagate around. Then it became more and more messy and didn't clean up.
is all her things, so I can't clean it up for her.
In the end, there was no way, so I could only make a curtain and separate the side where she put things from mine. I didn’t see it, but my heart was pure.
But every time I see that curtain, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
⑬
To be honest, my life has been particularly painful in the past six months.
Originally, Lao Wu and I were married halfway through the old days, and I was with Lao Wu. What I can do is to have a companionship with each other and never be lonely anymore.
But now, her life has been turned upside down by such a girl in her 20s. How to say this feeling of
, it’s like playing a game. I just started to practice a large account, and then suddenly the system forced a half-baked small account to me, asking you to help me practice. Although this small account looks a bit useless, it’s still given to you by the senior management of the game company. You must not be too light or heavy. I feel uncomfortable no matter what.
To be honest, I didn’t think about breaking up with Lao Wu. But the relationship between Lao Wu and I have always been pretty good, and he treats me very well. There are so many people who are single, and I really want to have someone around me who knows the cold and the warmth of Lao Wu.
But his daughter really gave me a headache.
I really don't know where to go.
What do you think should I do? What should I do with his daughter?
Do you really want to break up with Lao Wu?
