dialogue requires two people to conduct, and each person has two obligations: speaking and listening. When you are "speaking" words, the other party should "listen" and you should also "listen" the other party to "speak". It is said that it is promoted positively to form the entire dialogue.
To a certain extent, "speak" and "listen" are more meaningful to maintain the conversation. Because "listening" can make you better understand the other party and also know the other party's purpose and ideas, and then you will know what to say, how to say, etc.
However, many people always cannot be patient to "listen" what others say. They don’t care what others say, and they even rush to interrupt others, or they are absent-minded when listening. What’s more, they only listen to some, deliberately misunderstanding others’ words, and some people say their own.
On the contrary, when you chat with others, others turn their heads and don’t listen to you, with a casual and indifferent expression, how much more interest do you have to talk? "He seems to be unwilling to pay attention to me, okay, don’t say it anymore!" Although the other party sometimes agrees with a few words, such as "Is that true?" "Oh, "Haha," "Yes", etc., you can know his heart from his expression: "Stop talking, I'm not listening at all." So, the good atmosphere is destroyed, and a conversation that should be interesting is terminated.
You should have encountered this situation: if your audience listens to you very seriously, your mood will be completely different, you will be very interested in continuing this topic, and you will feel in your heart: "Oh! Look, he listens very seriously, and seems to like what I said." Moreover, when you see the other person nodding affirmatively, and at the same time make a "um, um" sound with praise, then your interest will definitely increase greatly, your confidence will increase greatly, the topic will increase more and more, and the clue will gradually become clearer. Perhaps, this conversation will become meaningful.
Obviously, this result is because of invisible encouragement from people who are good at listening. If you want to build a broad network of communication, then being a listener to others sincerely and humbly and showing your interests will greatly help you.
Of course, the most important thing is to listen carefully. Listening carefully to what the other party said is also the basis of mutual respect, and only then can we continue to communicate. Next, giving the other party a friendly and certain encouragement is also a manifestation of respecting the other party. When the other party is talking, if you can listen patiently, you are telling the other party that you are very interested, as if you are saying to him, "What you said is of certain value to me" or "You are worthy of making friends." Invisibly, the other party's self-esteem is satisfied, and he also feels his own value from it. So, we are no longer unfamiliar with each other, and communication makes you good friends. How to become a good listener?
If you want to be a good listener, you must not lack the good habit of obedience. We all need to pay attention to the basic quality of politeness. To learn to listen, you need not only enthusiasm, but also a way to listen. If you want to bring this to the extreme, you need to practice more regularly. When listening, you should concentrate, communicate with your eyes, react to the other person's words, and adopt the corresponding expressions and postures according to the objective environment at that time. Don't look around, don't look bored, and don't do anything else while listening to others. When others are speaking, do not interrupt casually, and do not take the conversation and draw conclusions.
There is a man who likes to take risks. Once, he traveled far away to the east, but unfortunately encountered an avalanche in the Himalayas. He was trapped in the heavy snow for seven days before being discovered by the search and rescue team. Everyone thought he was dead, but a belief helped him strengthen his courage to survive. He wanted to go home and meet his wife.
After he opened the door, he saw his wife ironing her clothes. He was as happy as all those who survived death. He told his wife screamingly: "You will never know what I have experienced during this period! I encountered an avalanche in the Himalayas. I survived to see you. You can't imagine how big an avalanche is..."
Then, the man stopped talking because his wife was not interested in what he said.Not long after, the wife told him: "I think what you said is boring. I never agreed when you said you were going to take a risk." The man returned to the room sadly.
He ended his life the night he came back. There was a passage in his suicide note: I can't stand it. I don't understand why my wife is unwilling to listen to me. I don't want to tell her about my experience. The feeling of being more uncomfortable than death is that she has no sympathy and understanding. So, I would rather not escape from death.
No matter whether this story is true or false, we should all understand: we must recognize the importance of listening. There is a saying in the American magazine "Fuxing": "Wife should do work including caring for children, handling housework, etc., and the first thing is to listen to your husband's voice."
What can we learn from these words? Men actually don't need any suggestions for your unhappiness. Just listen. It's enough for you to listen.
Robin returned home happily like a child and panted and told his wife Bella: "Oh my God, today is incredible. They asked me to go to the board of directors to explain the report and ask me to give me an opinion! It's so great......" Bella said lightly while watching TV: "What a good news! But you forgot to ask the mechanic to repair the washing machine. The washing machine is too old and you have to change some parts. Check it out after dinner, hurry up."
"Don't worry!" Robin was still very excited, "You hear what I just said! I made a detailed explanation at the board of directors at the request of the manager. Although what I said was not perfect, it was fortunate that I made a clear statement. I think I might be promoted to
"Hmm." "Bella said absent-mindedly, "Also, you should pay attention to your son's affairs when you have time. In the morning, the teacher called and said that the child's grades were very poor. But the teacher also said that if Jack worked hard, there was no problem. "
This time Robin was no longer excited. He recognized the fact that his wife would not listen to him. He started to eat quickly in depression. After dinner, he wanted to check the washing machine and educate his son.
Some ladies would say: "Bella kept talking to others selfishly, but she did not listen to others. "Actually, it's not Bella. She just wants to talk like Robin. If she can seize the opportunity, listen carefully to Robin and talk to him about housework, then Robin won't not want to listen.
Some ladies may not understand how important it is to listen. In fact, it is very important for husbands and wives. Just imagine, if a lady can talk to others seriously and ask questions to others, it means she can understand everything others say. Such people will always be welcome.
A poet once said: "Learn to this point, you have the opportunity to become a truly polite man: When intellectually disabled people tell you what they are doing the most, you should also pay attention to them. "
What are the characteristics of being good at listening?
Mary. Wilson once said this: "If you say a passage and no one notices it, these words will not be fully and very well in the end. Therefore, conveying some information to the speaker is the best way to listen. Express your touch with actions you can see. "
Yes, she is right. When you talk to others happily, his eyes don't look at you, and his body language is also absent-minded. How will you feel? If you can feel his concentration, communicate with you with eye contact, and do some body language to express yourself, you must be very happy!
So, be good at listening, the first thing is to learn to show interest in what others say. Training your own body is one of the things that must be done, which can make body language more effective. In addition, we must master some skills. Listening does not mean keeping silent. If you can ask the speaker at the right time, the effect will be better. Understanding "induction" is important. "induction" is to make the respondent feel your interest. What's interesting. Asking questions too directly makes people feel like they are impacted, and the conversation through induction is more effective and the conversation is more harmonious.
