Everyone’s life has three major themes - wealth, health, and love, which correspond to the wealth relationship, healthy relationship, and emotional relationship.
Wealth is our relationship with money, health is our relationship with the body, and love is our emotional relationship with others.
And if you want to build a comprehensive life winner in life, you must form a positive cycle in three aspects: wealth, health and love.
In order to make everyone better understand, we will use three stories to explain them today:
01
wealth
wealth
Many people are very scarce about wealth and lack basic education on wealth.
But I always feel that wealth should be created by myself, and wealth can only be more confident if I take it into my own hands.
So, how should we grasp wealth?
Once a reader told me that she is an community worker in , a fourth-tier city in . She was in her 40s and realized that she had missed a lot of time.
She now has a monthly salary of less than 3,000 yuan. She really wants to learn some skills by herself, which makes her life less regretful.
She passed the accountant exam, but she has never gone out to work. She now wants to find a side job, but she doesn't seem to know what she can do. She wants to work hard, but can't find the direction.
Taking the above story as an example, I share four pits that you must close before reaching wealth freedom:
(1) Don’t stop growing.
The heroine was in her forties and realized that she had missed too much time because she stopped growing up very early.
She now earns less than 3,000 yuan a month, which is basically no different from a newbie who has entered the workplace.
At the same time, I understand that it is not easy for a woman to have her own family burden.
But I believe that there are other women who have achieved something in their forties?
20 years have passed since the growth has stopped. How can we compare with young people at this time? How can you gain your competitiveness?
A life that does not constantly increase its value will definitely go downhill.
(2) Don't pretend to work hard.
The heroine once took the exam for an accountant, but she never went out to work.
It is actually an ineffective effort to take the accountant certificate.
Try hard, be goal-oriented.
For example, now you earn 3,000 yuan a month, and the next goal is to earn more than 10,000 yuan a month.
So from a monthly income of 3,000 to a monthly income of more than 10,000, you should think about it: What do you want to do? How to do it? What are the specific steps and methods?
Then you can work hard towards the goal step by step, which is called effective effort.
(3) Get rid of the sense of innocence.
Innocence is the biggest enemy of money.
The heroine's description of "working in the community" and "having never went out to work" actually hides some of the pride of working within the system.
I respect workers in the system very much, and many public officials work hard. But there is no need to look down on people who go out to work because of this.
When people go out to work, they can earn the money they want.
So, an important point is: If you want to make money, you must let go of this sense of innocence.
Like this, "everything is inferior, only reading is high", it seems that only what you do now is innocent, and you won't make money.
In short, in this process, you must change from innocence to service awareness.
Because you want to make money, you need to bring value to others and provide services to others.
(4) Cultivate realistic testing capabilities.
lacks reality testing ability and is a huge pit on the road to wealth, which will make a person's life never come to earth.
Why didn’t the heroine see these pitfalls in the past?
is very simple because she has not walked through that kind of cruel life that must be survived.
Just imagine, if you have nothing and don’t have this job at the age of twenty, how can you support yourself?
At that time, we must show a sense of ruthlessness and learn to survive, and have vigorous vitality like a wild beast, instead of hesitating here and lacking the ability to implement this reality.
Wealth is like a human being. When you don’t take care of it, someone will always take care of it.
Therefore, you must know money, learn to connect with wealth, and use it correctly.
02
health
Only after people find problems in their lives can they know how to prevent, learn and cherish.
But only with a healthy material carrier, the thoughts and soul can show their strengths and feet, and it is like this in emotions.
A reader once told me that she met a boy who was 6 years older than her, a native of first-tier cities, and who owns a house and a car through a relative introduction.
But boys themselves have no intention of striving and have little potential for subsequent development. They just plan to find someone to live a small life. Their parents are also older, and retirement and childbirth are urgent problems.
As she approaches 30 years old, she faces choices in her work and relationships. Her parents often use the saying "you should get married quickly when you reach age" to urge her to have a marriage and love life.
Currently, the boy expressed great sincerity to get married. Not long after he met, he took the initiative to let her know her family and friends. After getting to know her for a while, he asked her about brides and other things, and was even planning to live together.
But she was very entangled, not knowing whether it was due to the original family education or the acquired experience, the boy was very stingy and even calculating.
In addition to being anxious to make it clear when we met very early, our house was a pre-marital property, it was also reflected in various details of life, and even paying attention to meals, who ordered takeout, and daily necessities.
If you can give holiday gifts perfunctory, you will avoid talking about them when you communicate clearly. These behaviors make her feel extremely uncomfortable.
The boy also proposed to change furniture for his house after the two of them lived together, hoping that she could also pay a portion of the money, which made her feel that she cared about her material possession.
This is very worried that boys don’t really like it, but just want to find a life partner.
But boys also have advantages, such as being very good at communication and particularly observing her various emotions, being able to consider her carefully and take care of her attentively, which can be said to be very considerate in the details.
This made her feel a pity to leave, and she didn't know whether to continue or look for another one.
Why is the heroine in the above story so painful now?
Because she originally had a definition of emotional relationships and she needed love.
But what she said in the description of the question, "The other party is good at communicating, understanding emotions, considerate and attentive to serve", let us see one thing clearly: her emotional weaknesses are controlled by boys.
This actually shows that her emotional relationship has been dimensionally reduced.
When the "face" is reduced to "line", the relationship surface will become a value line.
Because a surface has three points, but a line has only two points.
If you use the value line to describe the above story, it is survival and reproduction.
Boys talk very simply. The so-called finding a life partner is actually looking for a survival and reproduction partner.
Simply put, the so-called life of a boy is a one-dimensional value line, that is, "you and me survive together, and we reproduce together."
The heroine originally wanted to establish a two-dimensional relationship, but she did not seriously develop, especially a healthy relationship.
For example, it will be better to have good eating habits, work and rest habits, and reasonable exercise and fitness, otherwise you will definitely fall into anxiety about appearance and anxiety about survival and reproduction.
Ensuring one's own health is a basic premise, and it is also the basic premise of the background color of our lives.
Because if you don’t even have health, it is difficult to have a high-quality life.
03
love
Happiness brought to us is unparalleled, but a good love relationship does not arise naturally, it requires us to act consciously.
A reader once told me that she and her husband were each other's first love. They met through the Internet in 2008 and obtained a certificate in 2010 for the exam.
She didn't get the exam at that time and didn't want to be a different place. She resigned willfully and gave up her career and worked as a housewife until three years ago.
The two had an quarrel during the wedding in October 2013.
Half a year before the wedding, she found that the man had ambiguous chat with a married woman. The man said he would not interact with him, but found out that he did not stop at the wedding night.
She went to look for that woman many times, and even got pregnant while the man was drinking, trying to make them cut off contact, but the man could never forget the woman.
Two years later, she thought that she would not be able to leave if she had another child, so she got pregnant with a second child.
Because there were signs of miscarriage, she went back to her hometown to recuperate. Almost a month before her death, she found that the two had already contacted each other.
She went to find the woman while pregnant. The man attacked her and gave birth to a child because she could not have an abortion. She didn't know how the woman broke up with
. But during this period, she also found that the man had affair with others, and even asked a lady to spend money.
She came out to work three years ago and got the industry qualification certificate last year. She also saw this relationship clearly and wanted to let go of it.
This year she filed for divorce, calm and did not quarrel, nor did she recover.
During this period, she fell in love with a single man, and she met through the Internet and had sex when she met. She felt that she was sinful and wanted to ask for help.
From this story, I saw that the heroine regards sex and reproduction as a tool and weapon to keep men:
The heroine's first child was that she got pregnant while the old man was drinking and got pregnant, so that the man and the mistress broke off contact. But in fact, the real goal was not achieved, and my husband still couldn't forget the woman.
The heroine's second child was because after the second child policy came out, the heroine thought that she would not be able to leave if she had another husband, so she got pregnant with a second child.
This year, the heroine fell in love with a single man, met through the Internet, and had a relationship when she met. Behind the life scripts of
are all because of the heroine's low sense of value.
The heroine doesn’t know whether she can provide men with other values or how to manage emotions. She is very unconfident in herself and does not know how to cherish herself.
But love cannot be obtained through sex, through children, or by giving up on yourself.
Only when we create love can we truly gain love.
So, how should we create love?
We [Mission Psychology] encourage everyone to cultivate morality and ability. In emotions, the so-called virtue is to be able to understand the laws of emotions and act according to the laws of emotions.
The so-called ability is the ability to love yourself and others, which is emotional ability, such as emotional management ability, emotional expression ability, ability to accept and allow, etc.
Water is full, and love is full. Only those who are rich and deeply loving inside have the ability to actively love others and create love.
The above three aspects form a positive cycle, and you can have a rich, healthy and loving life. We call it "small perfection in life", and I wish you all a "small perfection in life".
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