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Some mother-in-law boys and mother-in-law, they are really mean
Text/Yan Lingyang
Text/Yan Lingyang
Text/Yan Lingyang
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Last year during the Chinese New Year, a fan friend sent me a private message to tell me her story:
She took her children abroad for the New Year and did not go back to her mother-in-law's house to celebrate the New Year ( Before, when she went back every year, her mother-in-law would pick her nose and look at her all over the place. As a result, when her mother-in-law saw her son coming back alone for the New Year, she was so angry that she jumped up, scolded her daughter-in-law for being unfilial, and forced her son to divorce her.
I asked her, "What is your husband's attitude?"
She replied, "He thinks he is right."
I said, "Whoever has the same desires will be responsible for it. Filial piety to parents is the business of children, anyone Wife, son-in-law, and children should not be regarded as tools to please their parents, let alone people are mutual. A family that can unite a rope to deal with their son-in-law and daughter-in-law should not intermarry with others. "
She said, I want to divorce, but my husband wants to fight for my children with me. He feels that "there are three kinds of unfilial piety, and it is a big deal to have no descendants". If he divorces, he will have no descendants.
... This... I was speechless, and the child was just a tool he used to express his filial piety.
I also found that in the divorce war for the custody of children, a large number of men fought for not for themselves, but for their mothers.
In name, it is the divorced couple who are fighting for custody of their children; In fact, this is a game between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and men just help their mothers with their efforts. Men like
are still babies themselves, how could they take care of another baby?
They fought for the custody of their children, but they just threw it to their mothers for care, achieving their mother's wish to "be able to be a mother forever and have children for their own control."
Many mothers-in-law really only regard their daughter-in-law as a fertility tool.
Wife is just straw to them. The rice is ripe and harvested, and the straw should be abandoned. What they love most is the game "Go to mother and keep children". There are not too many mothers and sons who love to engage in mental incest but do not know that they are not aware of it.
Some men, even though they are in their thirties, will still exude aura of "I am the most innocent baby in the world".
If you are a little handsome, this sense of innocence will be stronger.
This seemingly innocent and pure aura emanates, the woman with a heart full of Virgin Mary can no longer stand it. She wishes to pounce on her to protect him and cherish him, resist all the wind and rain from the outside world, and fight back all enemies -
Even if this kind of damage is just what they unilaterally believe; even those enemies are just imagined.
A older woman seems to be unable to see through the disguise of "a thirty-year-old boy", or rather, she is unwilling to see through it.
see through it, and she feels that she is no longer needed - for women with low self-worth, this blow is fatal.
I think this is a very strange psychological phenomenon, but it happens frequently between married sons and mothers who are mothers-in-law, and sometimes between male celebrities and mother fans.
In my opinion, this is a manifestation of the incomplete development of both parties.
Women have never been able to achieve psychological separation from their children with their children, and have never been able to wean their children. Men want to hide under the wings of mothers or mother-like women all their lives and refuse to grow up.
Both sides are hugging each other tighter and tighter in this paste relationship, and they are lingering to the end of the world...
When outsiders see this phenomenon, they will inevitably say some rumors.
If their group behavior hurts others, they will be even more cold.
Then, these outsiders further became their common enemies. They just lived in an isolated island, with only two of them on the island.
, I can only say that the lack of a sense of boundaries is also the source of all evil.
Men who stand on their mother-in-law and unprincipled side every time there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, most of them are extremely lacking in maternal love and a sense of security.
They subconsciously feel that other people's "mother and son have no overnight revenge" will not be realized in themselves, so they subconsciously feel that as long as they stand by their wife's side, their mother will definitely abandon themselves.
They chose to stand on their mother's side, not because they love their mother, but because they were simply afraid.
This kind of fear is no different from children's fear of being abandoned or given up by their mothers, but they only maintain this psychological inertia until adulthood.
On the contrary, those men with healthy mother-son relationships are never afraid of disobeying their mother's wishes because they have a sufficient sense of security.
The experience of getting along with my mother since childhood makes them believe that every choice they make will eventually be accepted by their mothers.
You see, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is ultimately a problem with the mother-son relationship.
2
I am a best friend and have been divorced from her husband for nine years.
The reason for the divorce is that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, and the ex-husband always looks to her mother, which makes her mentally depressed for a long time.
At that time, how much was her mother-in-law going too far?
As long as her son is there, she will throw the dishes and chopsticks to her daughter-in-law to wash.
The son doesn't go home to eat, so she won't cook.
best friend gritted her teeth and divorced her daughter. After the divorce, her ex-husband also tried to find a girlfriend, but they all died in vain.
Her ex-husband later changed jobs and developed very well, with an annual salary of one million.
In terms of money, her ex-husband is particularly willing to be with her daughter. In addition to child support, he covered all his daughter's expenses.
's best friend later wanted to change the house, so her ex-husband bought her house for her parents to live in, and put it in her name. First, it saved her the trouble of selling a house, and second, it facilitated her parents to take care of her daughter nearby.
Now, a pair of "former mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" live in the same building. Her best friend lives in three rooms, and her former mother-in-law lives in the two rooms where she used to live.
The former mother-in-law took all the matters of picking up and dropping off children and taking care of their children's lives.
best friend goes there to eat and tutor the children after get off work every day.
As long as she is there, my mother-in-law will make a sumptuous supper.
When my best friend tutors the child homework, the mother-in-law will peel the fruit and send it over.
is absolutely impossible to enjoy these treatments before your best friend divorces.
A few days ago, she posted photos of her mother-in-law's dinner and peeled fruits in the group, and asked us, "Is my ex-mother-in-law sensible?"
I said, "Hey, what have you been doing?"
best friend said, "Yes, what have you been doing."
Don't some parents-in-law like " Killing a Medium " too?
The stage of the son pursuing a prospective daughter-in-law is not very familiar with the daughter-in-law, and always feels that the aura of the prospective daughter-in-law is 2.8 meters tall. He tells his son all day long: "You have to perform better so that others will not look down on you."
At this stage, the prospective daughter-in-law is the moon hanging in the sky. It is a big deal for his own son to get married. Of course, I hope the son can succeed.
As soon as my daughter-in-law entered the door, she got the moon turned into a mooncake. Everyone is close to each other and is familiar with each other, so they dislike their daughter-in-law.
You have an opinion, saying you are strong; you have no opinion, saying you are not responsible;
You make a lot of money, saying that women are too busy and hard in the workplace, and they will definitely not care about their family; you make less money or be a housewife, and you also say that you have no financial contribution to the family...
In short, nothing is right.
The daughter-in-law and son divorced, and the mooncakes that can be eaten have become an unreachable moon again.
The moon and the moon are still different.
The moon is a physical concept, with a pothole on the surface, which can calculate the mass, volume, and distance from the earth...
And the moon is a literary concept, bright and flawless. It is so cold and so far, but I dare not look down on it.
I once met a mother-in-law who used to make things difficult for her daughter-in-law and was picking her eyes on her daughter-in-law in all kinds of ways.
I asked her: Do you want your son and daughter-in-law to divorce?
She said: No, then isn’t my grandson miserable?
I said, since you don’t want your son and daughter-in-law to divorce, why do you have so many conflicts between them because of your relationship?
She was speechless for a moment and didn't know how to answer the conversation.
I said, if you don’t want them to divorce, you should be a glue. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to look at the mother-in-law in the first ten years and the daughter-in-law in the next ten years. It's still time to adjust now.
This mother-in-law later fell seriously ill, and her son happened to be on a business trip. It was her daughter-in-law who sent her to the hospital to save her life. Since then, she has developed some awe of "young", "fate", and " mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's relationship, and her relationship with her daughter-in-law has improved greatly.
However, there are also mother-in-laws who always stubbornly think that "it's all the problems of the daughter-in-law".
I have seen too many such examples: The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are incompatible, and the mother-in-law forces her son to divorce and remarry. The bride she married cannot be harmonious with her mother-in-law, but at least it will not be incompatible.
The reason is that it is not that the bride is better than the old wife, but that the mother-in-law learned lessons from her previous marriage and changed the way she got along with her daughter-in-law.
Moreover, they are afraid that their son and daughter-in-law will divorce again, so they are simply indulging in all kinds of ways to treat their new daughter-in-law.
Sometimes, I also want to prove it to the world: I am right, look at it, the previous marriage broke down was the problem of the old wife.
, how cheap.
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Author: Yan Lingyang, born in the 1980s, emotional columnist, author of the new feminism, member of the Chinese Writers Association. He has written the best-selling books "Those that make you suffer one day will say it out with a smile", "May you let go of the past and deserve the future", "May you have a journey and a way out", "I am divorced", "The world with you is not lonely - an alternative interpretation of Jin Yong's martial arts novels" and children's picture books "Mom's House, Dad's House". With 13 years of experience in finance (management) and is currently the founder of a cultural information consulting company in Guangzhou and the co-founder of a cultural media company. Born in Lijiang, Yunnan, now living in Guangzhou.
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