The reader wrote to me and said:
Now, I ask again: Your mother and I fall into the river, who do you save first? I think it is outdated, so I asked my boyfriend this question: I fell into the river with a million cash at the same time, who do you save first?
's boyfriend's answer is this: I know you so much. How can I not know what you like? If I have one million, even if you fall into the river and I don't save you, you will be able to climb up from the river and come to find me even if you fight your life. So of course, I will save millions of cash first.
My boyfriend's answer obviously disappointed me very much. In the end, we broke up.
My boyfriend and I met through a friend's introduction. During our date, I found that he valued money too seriously. Every time the two people spend together, as long as they pay for it, I feel like they are taking his life.
With this perception, I have the above questions.
What’s ridiculous is that during our dating period, I spent too much more than him, and he often said that I was “material”, so I just laughed.
needs to admit that my family is better than my boyfriend's family; my monthly income is more than my boyfriend's income; my boyfriend also bears a mortgage every month (I also have a house, which my parents bought for me in full). Sometimes I feel that my boyfriend has a heavy burden and I should share more on the material level, but my boyfriend's "smart" hurts my heart. In his cognition: I deserve it if I take more responsibility at the material level; if I do even show equal contributions with him at the material level, I will be "stingy".
I don’t quite agree with my boyfriend’s view of marriage and love, and I have no regrets about the collapse of this relationship.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
Regarding whether a man loves you, the only way to identify whether he is willing to spend money for you. The money spent here does not mean that you have to buy a villa or luxury car for you, but whether you are willing to maximize your wishes within his ability. It’s like: If he only has one hundred yuan on him and he is willing to give out 80 yuan to fulfill your little wish, I think it would be very good. When your boyfriend asks questions about who is important to you, I can only say that he dares to answer too much. In the adult world, something we must admit: all kinds of romantic actions in love need money to support it, but in the process of using money to support romance, money should not be taken too seriously. When two people are together, the most comfortable state is: not artificial and give each other.
Obviously, your boyfriend is a person who loves to calculate and does not even show any sign of disguise. It can be said that he lives a real life, but it also shows his stinginess. I don't think your boyfriend loves you too much, maybe he loves himself even more. Now that we have broken up, letting this relationship turn over as soon as possible is what you should do. Regarding the management of relationships, I want to tell you two things: 1) One person’s efforts cannot support the romance of two people. In a healthy emotional life, you need to rely on each other, rather than one of them supporting the other; 2) When a person is calculating in relationships, his other half is like a mirror and does not expose it. He does not want you to fail too early. Unfortunately, in this exam, your other half will be able to cheat on you.
needs to be admitted that sometimes when people choose their marriage partner, they will ignore the other person's family background because of their appearance. But after the relationship is established, the party with a better family background can pay more, but there is no need to let the other party take over. After all, the two parties are in a relationship of couples, and the minimum relationship should be reflected in this relationship. If you have a mouth that loves the other person but are unwilling to show it at the level of giving, what is the difference between you and being kept by the other person in this relationship? Once love loses the minimum mutuality, what do you think the other person's persistence in this relationship is the meaning? I didn't say that I broke up immediately, I hope to give you some time to wait for you to change your view of marriage and love. If you are particularly embarrassed to let the other party take over the burden in this relationship, in the end, the other party will be able to withdraw from your life.
There are always some people who have this view of marriage and love: relying on the other party’s love for you, you can be a parasite in this relationship, you are unwilling to pay money, unwilling to pay strength, and when the other party is dissatisfied with your behavior, you are still embarrassed to say that the other party is not generous. I would like to ask you: What will happen if the other party uses your attitude towards the other party to manage this relationship? Sometimes, when people recall a relationship, they will have the conclusion that "my ex is garbage, and his love is garbage." This shows how aggrieved this person should have in the previous relationship. Although the collapse of a relationship will inevitably leave some sadness, or just unwilling to accept that I have really devoted myself to this relationship, it won’t take too long to get out of the shadow of love breakup, because after losing it, I find that I feel relaxed.
People are lazy in their bones. If they can live a more decent life through a relaxed way, everyone is willing to make themselves a little relaxed in the process of struggle. The key is that as an ordinary person, everyone’s wealth is not blown by the strong wind. There is no need to regard the other party as a sucker because your partner is from a good family. Perhaps in the face of major issues, the other party can help you more, but in the face of trivial matters in life, you must form mutual contact. Do you think the other person’s sometimes feels disappointed because you are short of money? But I feel disappointed by your smart and calculating behavior. Disappointment is usually accumulated slowly in the trivial matters of life. Unfortunately, those who pretend to be stupid in front of you because of love you are often regarded as stupid by you.
As an adult, don’t think that the lifestyle of being praised is particularly moist. This process will only make you more decadent and will also make the other person accumulate enough disappointment in you. Once the other person is withdrawn from this relationship, you will be particularly sad and sad, and feel that you cannot take care of yourself after leaving the other person. But have you ever thought that your current situation was caused by you? Regarding your lover, he can be your support, but he also needs to rely on you at some point. If your shoulders do not allow the other person to rely on and are only willing to make you a burden to the other person, have you ever asked yourself why? At present, more and more people are unwilling to improve themselves and regard marriage as a seesaw for themselves to live a good life. That kind of attitude towards life that can get nothing for nothing will make them lose a lot.
Edited by:
For most people, when their lover is not rich, they are definitely embarrassed to live a life covered by their lover. During this period, I will feel embarrassed. But there are always some people who would rather reduce their quality of life than find a job. In this case, being supported by your lover with limited money-making ability will obviously reduce the quality of life. In this case, the other party will feel that living with you is particularly cowardly.
Friendship requires two people to reach a consensus in order to promote the formation and smooth progress of this relationship, but the collapse of the relationship only requires one person to be tired of this relationship, which can make the relationship burp. In the field of emotions, we must always adhere to the principle of "mutuality" rather than letting ourselves become a dwarf of life. Unfortunately, some people obviously have no feelings in the field of love, but they have the nerve to say sarcastic words after their lovers are removed from you.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
