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believe that every couple walked into the Civil Affairs Bureau hand in hand. The moment they got the red notebook, they were filled with happiness. Finally, they walked with the person they loved. It is really a blessing to be married in this life. At this time, I am full of beautiful longing for my future life. I am so happy to spend the rest of my life with my lover!
However, life is not as perfect as we thought at the beginning. Life changes as we live, it becomes as light and tasteless as drinking boiled water. Every day's life is like a pool of stagnant water, with a calm look that makes you feel like nothing. I never have any good memories of my previous love time. I feel like the people around me are touching my right hand with my left hand, and there is no feeling at all.
used to see the advantages, but now I feel extremely disgusted. I used to think that his smoking was very casual and manly, but now when I smelled the smoke on his body, I didn’t want him to get close. I used to feel pleasing to the eye when I saw her dressing up beautifully. Now I take several hours to see her put on makeup every time I go out and feel extremely bored.
From a lover to a husband and wife, many people always don’t change from each other’s roles and always treat each other in the way their lovers get along. They don’t know that marriage life and love are completely different things. When they are in love, they just occasionally spend time together under the moonlight, and they show each other the best side. After getting married and getting married, the couple lived under the same roof, spending 24 hours a day and night together. The mystery has been revealed between each other, and their strengths and weaknesses are naked and honest in front of each other.
If your marriage is similar to the following 4 types of people, then your marriage life will definitely be in chaos and one day you will go your separate ways.
. Always thinking about enjoying without giving
If you are the one who enjoys the other person's efforts before marriage, then you must know how to change yourself after marriage. No one can do it forever just give without getting a reward. When Zhang Li was in love with her boyfriend, her boyfriend would come to pick her up every time she was working on the night shift. Later, when I got married, my boyfriend was busy working overtime and getting a salary increase, so sometimes he couldn't come to pick her up from get off work. Zhang Li often quarreled with her husband about this and said that her husband didn't love her anymore. In fact, she knew that her husband was very busy and was making money for this family, but she felt uncomfortable and always quarreled with her husband about this.
The two of them often quarreled and their relationship was very stiff. Later, her husband filed for divorce to her. Her husband said that she was a selfish woman who enjoyed the high-paying income he had brought to work hard overtime, but she had to force others to force him to pick her up from get off work every day. He was alone and could not do it at all. After the two divorced, Zhang Li regretted it. In fact, he is a man with a family and sense of responsibility. His requirements are too harsh. He not only wants men to make money, but also wants him to revolve around her every day. How can he have so much time? Unfortunately, she regretted it too late. Her husband remarried soon, and a good man will never lack women.
. Always thinking about changing each other
The couple are completely independent individuals. They have lived in different family environments since childhood and must have their own living habits and hobbies. Since you have chosen this person, you must accept his differences and similarities. Try to seek common ground while reserving differences, so that you can reduce friction when you live together. Don’t want to change the other person to cater to your lifestyle or hobbies, otherwise there will be a big gap in your relationship. Only by allowing the other party to retain their individual differences can the marriage be long-term.
Since Xiao Lingling got married to her husband, she has been disgusted with some of her husband's living habits, such as not covering the toilet when she goes to the bathroom, always squeezing a little toothpaste when she brushes her teeth, and always having breakfast without brushing her teeth in the morning.Because of these different living habits, Xiao Lingling always quarreled with her husband, but she still kept changing her husband. There were many cold wars between the two of them, and the relationship between the couple faded. Later, Xiao Lingling finally figured it out that everyone has their own habits and hobbies, so don’t always think about changing the other person.
When you are ready to live with him, just be tolerant and understand him. At most, just do it silently behind your back. Later, Xiao Lingling never talked about her husband again. She covered the toilet cover quietly and squeezed toothpaste for her husband in the morning. Unexpectedly, her husband would consciously cover the toilet cover and also squeeze the toothpaste for Xiao Lingling. Moreover, according to Xiao Lingling's habit of squeezing, both of them knew how to change for each other, and the relationship between the husband and wife became better and better.
3. Disharmonious life of husband and wife
Many couples reach a certain marriage period, due to changes in physiological needs, or age changes, or sometimes when one party is angry, they use sex to punish each other, and the relationship between the two people will have great conflicts. If you don’t bow your head, he won’t let you, and you will not admit defeat. Your home will become a battlefield without gunpowder, full of gunpowder. Over time, a gap arises between the couple. Neither of them is willing to bow their heads first, and sometimes they even sleep in separate rooms, which makes small conflicts bigger and big conflicts. Since the two of them have not been intimate together for a long time, they have a sense of strangeness to each other. Even if they sometimes have physical needs in their hearts, they still suppress themselves tightly and do not want to beg each other with a shameless face.
Couples who have not lived in a couple for a long time will become worse, and there will be no emotional communication between them. As the saying goes, couples fight at the head of the bed and the bed, this is what they mean. No matter how big the conflict between husband and wife is, both parties must learn to bow their heads and admit their mistakes with each other. Home is a place for love, not a place for reason. Don’t compete with your lover for winning or losing. So what if you win or lose? Only by being inclusive, understanding, and respecting each other can one be happy and happy in such a marriage life. Remember to say more: Sorry! I was wrong! Another hug! The conflict between husband and wife will surely disappear soon.
4. Disloyal to feelings
The most terrifying thing in love is disloyal to your partner, that is, cheating and finding a mistress. This kind of emotional betrayal is the most hurtful thing. Why does Marriage Law stipulate monogamy? It has its own reasonable existence. Everyone’s emotions are selfish. If you are unwilling to share your lover with others, you will regard your lover as your own private item in your heart. No one is willing to share his husband or wife with others. Once he sees that his lover has cheated, he will feel as uncomfortable as eating a fly. That feeling cannot be expressed in words. True love has exclusiveness , and it is absolutely impossible to share love with others.
If one party is just a temporary impulse to be disloyal to his feelings, then for the sake of his children and for the sake of his family, he can communicate deeply with him. If he still wants this family, he must take practical actions to prove how he will treat this family in the future, and must cut off relations with his lover, so he can write a guarantee letter for leaving the house with purity, etc. He must show enough sincerity to prove that he will never make the same mistake again. Sometimes cheating is addictive. You can forgive me once, but you must never have a second time. You have to show your principles and bottom line. Unconditional and unlimited tolerance will only lead to the other party's betrayal again and again.
Marriage life is actually like a science, we need to spend our whole life studying hard to manage it. Humans are the most complex animals in the world, because everyone has their own ideas and opinions. You cannot shape the other person into someone exactly the same as you. You must learn to tolerate and accept their similarities and differences. In this way, both of them deal with and manage their emotional life with the eyes of appreciating each other, and their lives will gradually become better. Let us explore together what the mystery is in married life, perceive each other's love in exploration, hold hands and grow old together with you.
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