" The Three Kingdoms " writes: "If hatreds have good things, they must be praised; if relatives have evil things, they must be punished."
When dealing with relatives, they must have a "public heart" and speak from the perspective of a big family at all times, and do not have a single opinion.
It’s not that enemies don’t get together, it’s not that they can’t get married. In-laws, as a "half-way relative", they should cherish them even more, not only for themselves, but also for the happiness of their children.
, the following three words are better to rot in your stomach than to say them. After stabilizing your mouth, you will stabilize your family and love.
01
The ugly words of disliked the daughter-in-law and son-in-law were "tolerance".
Goethe said: "Although we can grow up with the protection of our parents and relatives, rely on brothers and friends, and use the help of friendship to get happiness because of our lover, no matter what, in the final analysis, human beings still rely on themselves."
Anyone who wants to live well must be strong, not rely on who to support them. The elderly who cannot walk cannot enjoy their success. They should make use of their remaining energy and work hard to build a good family atmosphere and create positive social energy.
Many elderly people, when they meet in-laws, say as soon as they open their mouths, "Your daughter is not enough in terms of hygiene and cooking skills. Have you never learned to do housework since childhood?"
seems to point out the shortcomings of their daughter-in-law and communicate well, but their parents will be very disgusted and think like this: "I raised my daughter and spent hundreds of thousands of yuan. Why do my mother-in-law still picky? Why is her daughter working hard and earning a good income, but she is not liked by her parents-in-law?"
In the eyes of anyone, she is the "best" child in her own children, which is the "short-short-protective psychology." If you point out someone’s fault, it will hurt the “other person’s heart”.
Let’s talk about it again. When your daughter-in-law and son-in-law arrive, you should train and learn to get along.
"report" in front of your in-laws and hope to "review and reason", which is even more undesirable. If you think a little bit, you will understand that it is difficult for a clean official to make a decision on family matters, so how can there be "reason"?
Don’t be reasonable, and don’t expose family scandals, but look for the advantages of your daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and give me a thumbs up. This way of chatting makes each other comfortable.
02
The unfair practices of children to parents and brothers and sisters of both parties are not just understanding.
Parents are very partial, which will cause conflicts between brothers and sisters. The parents gave the most valuable things to their younger son, and both their daughter and the eldest son both had objections and believed that they were at a disadvantage.
In life, you must put your heart in mind. , even the hands and feet cannot tolerate the word "biased", let alone the in-laws.
After the children get married, I hope that both parents are healthy, have pensions, and have a colorful life. But the actual situation will not be as good as it should be. There are always some elderly people who live in the countryside all their lives and need the support of their children. There are also some families with only children who regard their children as their support for the rest of their lives.
During the holidays, buying gifts and sending red envelopes cannot truly achieve balance between both parents, and in terms of company, they will also lose sight of one thing.
If you count every bit of it, the old man's psychology will be very unbalanced. If you say this, it is the root of the contradiction. Everyone thinks that they are "at a loss" and they also have to accuse the other party of taking advantage of their children.
My fourth uncle has three sons. The eldest son and the younger son work in the county town and raise money to buy a house in the county town. Therefore, the fourth uncle and aunt took care of their grandson in the county for a long time.
The second son works in Dongguan and married a Sichuan woman as his wife. Moreover, the woman has only one daughter and her parents live together for a long time.
From the outside, the second son's care for his parents was much less. Although he did not marry into the woman, he had to think more about taking care of the woman's parents.
Every family has their own difficulties. When children get married, the difficulties are not fully understood by parents, but they must try their best to understand. Don’t say anything about children’s biasedness.
What the children have sent, just accept it happily, why bother with what the children have sent to their in-laws? Filial piety cannot be measured by money and cannot be overly detailed.
As Yishu said: "Be a person who is a person who is subtle and just live a life without being petty. If you are clear and have no fish, you will be clean and have no disciples. Whoever doesn't follow anyone for the rest of your life? Let's just put some things in your heart."
03
Your own sense of superiority is not to mention "humility".
Children get married, we hope to meet a family with a "family match". But over time, the family situation will change, and once very rich families may become poor families. Is it because my in-laws become poor that they have to force their children to divorce? Obviously, this idea is wrong.
When two families have different status, as a rich and powerful party, they should lower their attitude and respect and help each other's family.
Zhuge Liang When he was a teenager, his family conditions were very average. Mianyang scholars Huang Chengyan appreciated his talent and offered to marry his daughter Huang Yueying .
After many years, Zhuge Liang became the prime minister, and his brothers also served as officials in Wei State and Wu State . The status and money of the family must have surpassed their parents' home, but he and his wife never left their home and did not dislike their parents' home.
Someone joked about Zhuge Liang: "Don't learn to choose a wife at Kong Ming, it's right for you to inherit an ugly woman."
There is only one ugly woman in your life as a wife and doesn't look for a concubine. It's really too insignificant. If Zhuge Liang heard the "rumor" and had a relationship with his parents, he might have a quarrel and the couple would turn against each other.
You must understand one truth: your sense of superiority is supported by your children, in-laws, grandchildren, etc. It also avoids comparison with each other.
04
I have seen a question: In marriage, how important is the elderly know how important is it to quit?
As an elderly person, you must not only revolve around your children's families, but also try to keep emotional distances open, so as not to get entangled or interfere.
When dating in the in-laws, it emits its own light and does not conceal the other person's light. The two beams of light superimposed together to guide and help the children's small family, and the ending will definitely be better.
Care for the younger generation is an involuntary thought and practice for the elderly, but don’t just open your mouth and keep silent when it’s time to shut up.
If you are an old man who can’t speak, then smile and listen to what everyone says.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
