-01-
Let’s talk about a case first.
Men and women were classmates when they were in graduate school. After graduation, both stayed at in Grade A hospital. After working for a few years, the two finally entered the siege of marriage, and at this time, both of them were nearly thirty years old.
was originally a happy thing, with stable work, beautiful life.
But just two years ago, the two divorced.
The reason is that the man’s parents are old and eager to have grandchildren. The man also feels that it is not easy for his parents to support him in school and wants to repay them, so he took the two old people over to live together.
But not long after the old man came, the man's father had an acute illness. After being discharged from the hospital, he could only stay in bed most of the time. At this time, the man said to the woman: Look, my parents used to be busy to get me to school. Now that I am old, I still can't rest. I feel very distressed. If not, you quit and take good care of them at home.
But at this time, because of the excellent business, the woman was about to be promoted to chief physician, so she would definitely not agree.
So, the man and his mother did not give women a good face every day, and even said to the public: They are so arrogant now, and they don’t know what they will look like when they are promoted to director. They must be even more careless.
There are three sisters on the man. Every weekend, the three elder sisters take turns to go to his younger brother's house to put pressure on his only sister-in-law. In the end, the woman could no longer bear it and filed for divorce.
Because the two have no children, women are eager to get rid of this family, so there is no entanglement in the division of property. The two broke up very quickly. The man was in his circle of friends late at night, and his connotation said: Why are women now so unvirtuous and kind, so lazy, and so snobbish?
Later, the man went on blind dates several times, and he always made a request: be filial to his parents, and resign if necessary, take care of his parents at home.
Although he works well and has strong business ability, he is still rejected by women repeatedly and is still single until now.
-02-
A psychology of men looking for wives: Women must be gentle and kind, and be able to help themselves be filial to their parents
I don’t know when, but I always hear men nagging: The world is getting worse and worse, and women today have no traditional virtues at all.
And what he is worried about is: a woman ignores her family and cannot take good care of her parents.
It can be seen that although the times are developing, many men think in their hearts: I will marry you home, you are my family, and you must treat my parents just like your own biological parents.
So, in the eyes of these men, it is not a problem for a woman to quit her job and become a housewife, or to take care of her children and her parents while going to work.
It’s a pity that in real life, the more a man makes such a request, the more he will tense the relationship between his family and his wife, and even make a family messy.
Once a friend summed up:
"If a man has many siblings and his parents are particularly difficult, it is most likely that the two people are very happy after marriage."
It sounds like there is something to say.
is mainly because men who don’t know how to deal with family relationships have low emotional intelligence, naive people, do not understand women’s psychology, and do not know their position and position in the same family. In this case, even if a man and a woman fall in love with each other very much at the moment, it is difficult for a relationship to last for a long time.
-03-
No matter how much men and women fall in love, they must understand one truth
I still remember seeing a documentary.
In the hospital, a man yelled at a woman: My mother had just finished the operation, and you gave her such greasy soup. Can she continue to drink it? Why can't you even make a soup well?
The woman was helpless and didn't know what to say, and felt wronged and debated: This soup is nutritious. Someone next to
could not stand it and directly said: You are so filial, why don’t you stew the soup for your mother by yourself?
It seems that a man has become accustomed to it. He preached and told women and others how difficult it is to tell their mothers, how unloved his father, and finally said to the woman affectionately: You must be filial to my mother.
barrage all said: Your mother is not doing well, and it is not caused by your wife, why should she bear it for you?
Yes, a relationship can last for a long time lies in mutual understanding and mutual support.
There are always men and women who love each other and say to the woman: My mother has suffered a lot from giving birth to me, and you must treat her well in the future.
Some people also tried their best to comfort the wronged woman: After all, she gave birth to your husband, so let it go.
But this man and his mother have forgotten that no matter whether this man becomes a woman's future husband or not, you must live a good life. This future mother-in-law will love her son well, and it has nothing to do with whether she marry a wife or not.
And it is not easy for women to be raised by their parents.
Therefore, no matter how much men and women fall in love, they must understand this principle: their parents should still give more and never pass on their responsibilities to the person next to them.
-04-
The psychology of a woman: the more she is loved, the more she will give; the more she is distressed, the more she will share the burden for men
I saw a TV series scene.
The man's mother got up early in the morning to clean the room, make breakfast, wash clothes, and ding jingle.
And the young couple was still sleeping in the bed. When the man heard the noise, he hurriedly pushed his wife beside him and asked her to get up to help.
And the woman was busy working overtime until late at night the night before, and her eyes couldn't open. The man disliked: Let my mother do everything, and you will wait for the ready-made one.
To be honest, after seeing this, do you really want to say: Why don’t you get up?
There are always some men who only have one mouth in love, "My mother is too difficult, too hard," but you ask him: What have you done for your mother? Have you massaged her back? Have you taken her out for a trip to relax? Have you helped him share more housework?
I guess he has never done it before, and he even said something that makes people feel very owed: If my wife helps her in the future, she will be more relaxed.
But, as your son, you don’t give, so how can you be embarrassed to expect someone who has nothing to do with your mother to fulfill your filial piety for you?
Therefore, if a man wants to have a long relationship with the person you like and want to live a good life, he must understand these two principles:
First, men must be sober: the person a woman loves is you.
A woman loves you, she wants to live with you, and only if you lead her will she love your family more.
In other words, most women are more emotional. If you treat her very well on weekdays and your parents are also very nice to her, she will definitely know how to repay her. If you often take the initiative to help your parents with some housework, she will definitely not be able to bear with you for a day of tiredness and will share the burden for you.
Many times, it is not that the woman is not virtuous or she loses tradition, but that the man has not established a desire for women to make her want to give you.
Many men, before getting married, open their mouths to their parents and stretch out their hands. After getting married, they suddenly wake up and think that it is not easy for their parents, it is also tiring and hard, and then they start to let their wives take responsibility for him. Isn’t this very contradictory?
Second, learn to "put your heart in mind" so that you can have a long relationship
In modern society, more and more women will propose not to live with the man's parents when they are in love with men.
Only because when a woman falls in love with a man, she finds that his mother has no status in the man's original family, so she will find a way to get rid of the bad luck and want to change the man by building a small family.
But this idea is probably a bit difficult.
You should know that if two people are together and do not know how to put themselves in their shoes and think from the perspective of others, then no matter how long they live together, the habits and ideas they have developed over the years will be difficult to change.
is like, there is a Korean drama.
Every time the family sacrifices, the mother-in-law will take her daughter-in-law to work hard for a day, while the men just get together to drink and chat.
The woman was so tired that she was about to faint. The mother-in-law also disliked her daughter-in-law for being too spoiled. The husband on the side did not take his wife seriously after hearing her mother's complaints.
This kind of relationship may be endured once or twice. If this continues, the relationship between the two will definitely end.
So, remind men, take a good time!
You must understand: it is not that women are unvirtuous and unfilial, but that women today know how to love themselves more and more.
If you don’t know how to exchange, don’t know how to love her, don’t know how to put your heart in your heart, always make demands on her, but forget your responsibilities, then even if she still loves you in her heart, she will give up on you.
Author, calm fox
picture, online
May you find the deep affection in my words in the ordinary years! Thanks for your attention!
