Dazhuang has reminded Tong Zhi many times that told him not to be overwhelmed with sympathy and to sympathize with women at every turn. Women in the world are very bitter, so how can they be sympathized with?
Tong Zhi didn't care, thinking that Dazhuang was so romantic, and the women around him kept coming. He was not the same person as him at all. The woman cried to him, but he just sympathized with him and comforted him. So what if he could do?
Tong Zhi didn't know that he had been mentally cheating for 20 years and broke up with Wen Li. Everything started with sympathy for a woman.
01 Fang Hongbing, who made Tong Zhi sympathize with
In addition to Wen Li, Tong Zhi also had an intersection with two women in his life, one was Fang Hongbing, and the other was Li Tianjiao who he kept in his heart for the rest of his life.
Fang Hongbing's personality is an exterior type. When she was in school, she always liked Tong Zhi and often went to Tong's house to cook. Because she was sweet-mouthed and diligent, she was deeply loved by Tong's father, mother and sister Tong Zhi.
After graduation, the two of them were separated. Fang Hongbing changed his name and got married. Tong Zhi also had a beautiful wife Wen Li. At that time, Wen Li was beautiful and romantic, and she was definitely a little woman. Tong Zhi was fascinated by her and his whole heart was thrown on her.
Fang Hongbing has always been obsessed with Tong Zhi. Since he met him again, he has often expressed his heart to him and remembered the wonderful times in the past. Tong Zhi was newly married and was in a passionate relationship. He was so scared that he ran away several times by her enthusiasm.
A certain breeze night, Tong Zhi, who had just finished the meeting, hid in the woods and smoked. Fang Hongbing floated to him, while talking about his youthful past gently and slightly, while looking at him with a soft look that could pinch out water and said: I am having a bad life!
After saying that, her tears slowly flowed down, and more and more. Tong Zhi, who was originally going to run away when he was about to an enemy, was stunned and couldn't help but comfort her and said: Look at you, others think you are so strong, I can't even recognize you now!
If Dazhuang hadn't happened to pass by and rescued him from the embarrassment, Tong Zhi might not have been able to control himself under Fang Hongbing's tender offensive.
Afterwards, Dazhuang couldn't help but tease him about this. Tong Zhi said to Fang Hongbing for the first time, " Don't talk nonsense about Fang Hongbing. We are just chatting and recalling the beautiful student days." After was about to come, he sighed and said "A woman, she just loves to cry."
Dazhuang looked at this buddy who had been avoiding Fang Hongbing like a snake or a scorpion, and suddenly changed her attitude towards her by 180 degrees.
Dazhuang, who has been soaking in flowers for a long time, can't help but warn him seriously:
Don't have anything to do with a woman like Fang Hongbing, who is suffering and a deep hatred. She and her husband are divorced. You must not have sympathy for your old boy. You can't help her unless you don't want your family anymore.
In the eyes of Dazhuang, women like Fang Hongbing must not be provoked. Tong Zhi sympathized with her and comforted her was a trivial matter. Once he got a response from him and was stuck with her, he would inevitably make a fussy body. Maybe she would be distracted by her.
The big village lingers in the flowers and sees countless women. He can see through what kind of women can provoke what kind of women cannot provoke.
It is precisely because he knows a woman like Fang Hongbing that he seriously warned Tong Zhi, He is not afraid that Tong Zhi will not be able to control it, but what he is most afraid of is that once Tong Zhi's sympathy becomes overflowing, it will bring hope to Fang Hongbing. She will not stop pestering him and tear her face to destroy his marriage with Wenli.
Wen Li is a person who can't stand the sand in her eyes. If she knew that Tong Zhi had broken up with her first love and had a mystery to each other, the two would definitely have a quarrel. After a long time, it would have some impact on their relationship. At that time, Fang Hongbing took the opportunity to step in, comfort her gently, patiently resolve her feelings, and exclaim each other's bitterness. This is not the itchyness of most marriages and the only way for her husband to cheat.
American psychologist Duncan once said: The safe distance between people is 1.2 meters, and this distance is a person who is particularly trusted, familiar or close to them.
This is the most standard distance between friends of the opposite sex, and it is also the boundary between men and women and the opposite sex during marriage.
Do not sympathize with women other than their wives, nor do you open your heart and express your heart to the opposite sex other than their wives. This is the bottom line that a "husband" should have.
Because all favors start with "sympathy" with a person, and all deviance starts from caring for another woman in your heart. "sympathy" with a person is not scary. What is scary is that this kind of heart-to-heart talk, silently bringing the distance between each other's hearts closer and farther away from your family and your wife, is like the appearance of Li Tianjiao!
02 Li Tianjiao who makes Tong Zhi feel sorry for
Li Tianjiao is a woman Tong Zhi has kept in his heart for the rest of his life.
She is a cinnabar mole in his heart, the white moonlight he can't love for in his life.
At that time, Li Tianjiao was just an ordinary technician in the workshop. Because her parents were very busy, she had been very independent since she was a child. A little girl went to a remote mountainous area and stayed there for three years. Tong Zhi simply said, " The little girl left her parents and came to this remote mountainous area where rabbits do not shit. She worked as hard as our men...." However, she instantly felt the warmth she had never felt before.
Li Tianjiao is a girl who has been lacking in love since childhood. The image she gives people has always been independent and noble outside. No one has ever regarded her as a child. So in front of Tong Zhi, she showed the playfulness and liveliness that only children have.
Tong Zhi was attracted by her vibrant vitality. Li Tianjiao was fascinated by Tong Zhi's maturity and steadiness. The two people who had no intersection created sparks that they should not have.
Fortunately, Wenli smelled the dangerous signal in time and temporarily cut off the dry fire that was about to burn.
But since then, Tong Zhi seemed to have changed his nose, eyes, eyes, eyes, and viciousness to her. Whenever Li Tianjiao is mentioned, he will immediately become furious. From the model couple that everyone envies before, Li Tianjiao instantly becomes a mess because of Li Tianjiao's appearance. More than 0 years later, Tong Zhi and Li Tianjiao met again. She was already a mature, capable and awe-inspiring director, but her eyes were still as gentle as water.
One day, Li Tianjiao was humiliated in public by Xiao Liang, who failed to pursue her. She said that she was aloof and refused to have sex with her ex-husband. She never fulfilled her wife's obligations. Her ex-husband was tortured by him and almost hanged before she divorced.
Tong Zhi couldn't see it, and the hero saved the beauty and scolded Xiao Liang fiercely. Li Tianjiao's heart, which was originally pretending to be tenacious, collapsed in front of Tong Zhi. Her eyes were filled with grievances and sadness. She cried to him about the misfortune of marriage. Big tears came out of her eyes, but she stood up stubbornly and refused to cry out loud.
Tong Zhiqing couldn't help but caress Li Tianjiao's hair pity. Li Tianjiao was hit by this brief touch and hugged Tong Zhi affectionately. " This hug seems to last for a lifetime ".
When Li Tianjiao left Tong Zhi's office, " is like he was injected with chicken blood, his eyes shining ". This scene happened to be seen by Dazhuang, and he asked Tong Zhi if it was related to him.
Tong Zhi said quietly, " She has a lot of pain in her heart."
Dazhuang became serious again, and the second time because a woman warned Tong Zhi: Stay away from her, which woman has a lot of pain in her heart? Can you take care of it?
Tong Zhi said: She is different.
Writer Cai Jianjian once said: Marriage is two intersecting circles. Beyond the intersecting, you can follow your inner thoughts; within the intersecting, that is the overlapping part of you. Every time you think you are indifferent to cross-border behavior, you will be a needle on the other person's body.
Wen Li spent the rest of her life in pain. Li Tianjiao was like a thorn, piercing in Tong Zhi's heart, piercing in her heart, becoming an irreparable crack in this marriage.
Tong Zhi kept telling Wen Li that he and Li Tianjiao did nothing, but in his heart, he did everything to her!
The most terrible thing in marriage is not deception or cheating, but he clearly hurts you, but he still says with confidence: " I obviously did nothing, you are too petty, you are unreasonable." It makes you want to scold him and condemn him, and you feel frustrated and powerless.
A woman’s sense of security comes from a man’s sense of boundaries. All boundaries are not clear and they are pretending to be ignorant.
03 Conclusion
Tong Zhi is a person with weak willpower. He is so afraid of Fang Hongbing. When he saw her crying, he still couldn't help but feel sympathy and felt a little pity for her.
Tong Zhi has no resistance to Li Tianjiao, who is tenacious and weak, lively and arrogant, strong and stubborn outside, weak and helpless in front of him, and shines everywhere he goes.
As soon as he saw her tears and her disguised strength, his heart softened and completely fell.
Dazhuang is right. The opposite sex should have the minimum sense of boundaries when getting along with each other. Men should not sympathize with a woman casually. If a woman is not bitter, you can't help others, unless you don't want a family.
A woman with a bottom line and a sense of boundaries will not casually tell a married man how bitter she is, unless she has different thoughts on you and wants to win your pity and care with tears.
Between men and women, especially married men, should keep a clearer distance from the opposite sex. This is the minimum respect for their partner and the most basic bottom line for protecting marriage.
