01
received a letter from a reader, the letter is as follows:
Dear Fat Fish, I like to see you help readers answer questions and answer questions. If I don’t want to ask you for help.
My name is Xiaolan, I am a native Suzhou people. In the early years, the city was expanded and the hometown was demolished. My parents got 3 apartments and life was getting better.
I went to college in Hangzhou. After graduating from college, my parents still suggested that I go back to my hometown to work. Because they are only my daughter, and they don’t want me to marry far away.
I met Zhou Ming at work, and he is my direct leader.
Zhou Ming is a graduate student and graduated from a prestigious school in Shanghai. He has been promoted very quickly to our current unit.
When I met him, his annual salary was already 600,000, which is considered young and promising.
At that time, our unit did not allow colleagues to fall in love.
is just right, I want to quit, my aunt's family opened a company and asked me to go over and help.
Before resigning, I specially invited Zhou Ming to dinner and asked him if I could ask him if I had any questions in the future. He said of course.
So, after that, I will look for him if I have anything to do. Before leaving
, I asked all the questions, Zhou Ming had no girlfriend, so naturally my chance came.
Yes, I just looked forward to Zhou Ming.
02
3
3 months later, Zhou Ming became my boyfriend.
After being with Zhou Ming, I learned more about him and knew that he was from Jiangxi and had a younger brother at home. His home is in a small city, his father has a job, and his mother is a housewife. I don’t care about
, I think Zhou Ming is a very good person. My family also agreed to be with him. The premise is that Zhou Ming wants to stay in Suzhou to develop, because his family doesn’t want me to marry far away.
Zhou Ming said that he would definitely not go back to his hometown to develop, because the job here in Suzhou is more suitable for him.
has been in love for more than a year. I am already 27 years old and Zhou Ming is over 30 years old, so he plans to take me back to see his parents this National Day.
My parents, he has seen them a long time ago. My parents admire Zhou Ming very much and said that he must have paid more than others when he came out of a young age.
We are Zhou Ming’s hometown the day before National Day. It was noon when we arrived, and his mother had already prepared a large table of food.
Zhou Ming’s mother, that is, my future mother-in-law doesn’t talk much, just asked me to eat.
In this process, I discovered one thing, that is, Zhou Ming’s father, that is, my future father-in-law, who is like an old man. When the rice bowl was empty, he handed it to Zhou Mingma directly, and said "um" with his eyes. Zhou Mingma immediately put down the bowl and chopsticks to serve him the rice. The rice cooker is clearly not far behind my future father-in-law.
After dinner, I helped clean up the dining table . Zhou Ming said no, he would clean up the body, and he had no intention of helping clean up.
At this time, my father-in-law was already sitting on the sofa and picked up the remote control board. Zhou Ming's younger brother and his sister-in-law were sitting in front of the coffee table and eating fruit. They didn't say they helped Zhou Ming's mother.
Zhou Ming's younger brother and sister-in-law got married last year. After marriage, the two lived with Zhou Ming's parents.
03
That night, Zhou Ming's mother was planning to cook.
Seeing her busy all the time, I said I could eat something casually tonight, and I wanted to try the local snacks.
Because of my decision, the family ate outside at night. Zhou Ming’s father was still very arrogant and asked Zhou Ming’s mother to pour the wine for him. It's just a matter of stretching out my hand, I don't understand.
After the meal, I asked Zhou Ming, how did his father serve the rice and drink, and he asked his mother to do it, he could do it himself.
Zhou Ming said that this is the way his parents get along with each other, and they have long been used to it.
Get used to it?
is also correct.
At noon the next day, that is, National Day, Zhou Ming’s mother specially cooked a large table of dishes. I wanted to go to the kitchen to help her wash and choose vegetables, but Zhou Ming refused to let me go and told her to come.
Later, I glared at him and said: Auntie is alone, what's wrong with me going to help her?
Originally, as Zhou Ming’s girlfriend, I didn’t need to show off my first time at home.I just can't stand it. They treated Zhou Ming's mother like this and made her work hard alone.
Seeing that I insisted on insisting, Zhou Ming stopped talking.
Zhou Ming's father was leaning on the sofa to watch TV, and he and his sister-in-law were sitting on the balcony to browse their phones.
Zhou Ming’s mother, like a nanny, is what I don’t like the most.
Because in our house, whenever my mother cooks, my dad and I will help her. Especially my dad, I love my mom very much and rush to do everything. Therefore, the atmosphere in our house is very good and contains a strong love.
But at Zhou Ming’s house, I feel a little cold.
04
Finally, the food came up. As I was eating, Zhou Ming's father suddenly spit out the pig's trotter in his mouth, glared at Zhou Ming's mother, yelled at him: Add so much salt? Are you a pig?
Zhou Ming's mother's tears were rolling in her eyes, while her younger brother and sister-in-law, and Zhou Ming continued to eat as if nothing had happened, and no one helped her mother to help her. And I can't eat anything again.
I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I just feel like I'm out of place with this family. After Zhou Ming returned home, he was different from him in normal times, which disappointed me.
That meal ended in silence. After dinner, Zhou Ming's mother kept cleaning up. I helped her put the bowls and chopsticks into the kitchen, so she drove me out and said that the kitchen was full of oil smoke and was not suitable for me. After
came out, I pulled Zhou Ming downstairs.
I asked Zhou Ming, is his mother a stepmother? Why are they all treating her like this?
Zhou Ming said, I thought too much, that is his real mother.
I said, your dear mother, don’t you say anything when you see her wronged?
Zhou Ming said that their family has always been in this way of getting along with each other. His father has a bad temper and will quarrel when he doesn't like it. He and his brother were used to it, and there was nothing they could do.
I said, Zhou Ming, are you still a graduate student? Your mother has lived like this, don’t you know how to feel sorry for her?
Unexpectedly, Zhou Ming said, Xiaolan, I had a fight with my dad when I was a child, and then I got his beating every time, so I didn’t dare...
What kind of family is this?
It seems that Zhou Ming is working outside, which is normal and there is no problem, but when I come to this home, I feel very depressed.
05
I immediately went upstairs to pack up my things and wanted to go back. Zhou Ming wanted to keep me, but I refused.
Zhou Ming's mother was helpless and asked me to play for a few more days. I said she had a job and could only let her go, and gave me a big red envelope.
On the way to take me to the station, Zhou Ming was very upset. He felt that I was throwing a tantrum. I really don't want to talk to him.
I returned to Suzhou that night. However, I chose to stay outside for one night and went home at noon the next day.
That night, I thought it very clearly that I wanted to break up.
Just looking at Zhou Ming, he is indeed very excellent and performs very well. But I have a lot of concerns and concerns when I put him in his original family and went to see him.
The next day, before I went home, I transferred the red envelope money to Zhou Ming and proposed to break up.
That night, Zhou Ming rushed back. He asked me why I broke up? What's wrong with him? If he did something wrong, he would correct it.
I said, Zhou Ming, you are very good, but I can't stand the atmosphere in your home. As a woman, I don’t think your father is so polite to your mother. I’m afraid that you will treat me like this in the future.
Zhou Ming said he definitely won’t. I didn't reply to him.
In the past two days, Zhou Ming has been begging me, saying that he loves me very much, and that his family is not a problem, as long as we live well.
but I'm still very confused.
I want to ask everyone: If you go to your boyfriend's house for the first time and encounter such a situation, what would you do? Is there anything wrong with breaking up?
06
Yu said:
I understand Xiaolan too much. To look at a person, you must not only look at him, but also his original family.
Zhou Mingren is very good, but his family's way of getting along is unbearable.
First of all, it is his father. Whether it is serving rice or pouring wine, he will let his mother come. He doesn't help with the housework at home at all.It can be seen that this man doesn’t care about his wife at all and is not a good role model.
Secondly, Zhou Ming brought his girlfriend to the door for the first time, and his father lost his temper at his mother on the dining table, which only means that this situation is very common in his family, so his father has become accustomed to it.
In this process, Zhou Ming and his brother chose to watch coldly, even the sister-in-law who had just married into the house was the same.
shows that this family is cold from the bottom of their hearts.
It was like Xiao Lan felt that there was no love between the family. A strong father, a cowardly mother, and two numb sons. Very sad!
As for Zhou Ming, there are two situations: maybe he will slowly copy his parents' pattern after marriage, maybe he will become the opposite of his father and will love his wife very much.
These all take time.
But I personally think that a family without love cannot raise a loving child.
From Xiao Lan's perspective, I feel that such a family is not suitable for me, so I propose to break up as soon as possible, which is worth encouraging!
want to say to Xiaolan, just follow your heart.
If you were Xiaolan, what would you do? Will you break up?
