uses mercy to promote social interaction, which has been around throughout the ages.
Mencius said: "The exchange is also based on Tao, and the reception is also based on etiquette. This Confucius will accept it."
If there is a legitimate reason to give gifts and within the rules, Confucius will also accept it.
There was a fisherman who couldn't finish the fish at home, so he gave it to Confucius. Confucius happily accepted it for sacrifice. A frugal man made rice with a clay pot and gave it to Confucius to taste it. Confucius said, "It tastes very good."
Through gifts, it reflects the emotional interaction between people and promotes social atmosphere. Confucius's approach is brilliant.
When we were young, we often looked like "the heaven is not afraid of the earth" and ignored some old rules.
When we retire and become an old man, looking back at our social circle, we will understand that there are so many tricks in "giving gifts". Only after we step on it will we know the depth.
01
"The gift I gave out can come back": It is a wishful thinking.
"It is not polite to go forward but not come; it is not polite to come but not come back but not coming." This sentence is deeply rooted in our minds.
When we were young, we went to visit relatives. Relatives will give you a red envelope to express blessings, which can be regarded as New Year’s money .
But my parents told us that these red envelopes are actually own. carefully pondered, and we understood that relatives gave us red envelopes, and parents also gave relatives' children red envelopes, but it was just a transaction.
has been instilled with the rule of "reciting and communicating" since childhood, so we believe that "there are more gifts and more gifts."
For example, if your younger brother holds a housewarming banquet, you give you a gift of 10,000 yuan. After a few years, if you buy a new house, your younger brother will give you ten thousand yuan. There is no loss.
When you retire, look at the gifts you gave out. There are many gifts that you can't get back.
Some colleagues, after retirement, go back to their hometowns, and it is difficult for them to appear in the city where they work again; some colleagues change their contact information, or change jobs to other units, and gradually break off contact with you.
Some relatives and friends also went to work in other places and gradually became alienated.
When you have a happy event, please invite relatives, friends, and old colleagues to join in the fun. Some people cannot contact you, some people contact you, no one comes, and no gifts will be seen.
The gift you give to your younger generation, after several years, the younger generation grows up, and may not necessarily give you a reply.
is eagerly waiting for the gift to return, maybe you will be disappointed. It’s better to give yourself a comfort, as it’s a blessing to suffer losses. Especially in front of your own relatives, no matter how many gifts you give, don’t care about it, and treat it as help.
02
"There are so many gifts, just be polite": the other party may not necessarily appreciate it.
When I was working in a certain unit, my boss's family had weddings and funerals one after another.
Parents passed away, children went to college, moved to house, etc.
According to local standards, each gift is 200. But there are many colleagues who receive gifts of four hundred or even more. It is obvious that there is also the idea of "pleasing and highlighting oneself" when following gifts.
Under the hint of my colleague, the gift I gave to my boss was also increased to 400.
Then, a colleague's father celebrated his birthday, and then he looked at everyone's gifts and it was discounted. Some people receive a hundred gifts just to "not refute face."
When I left a certain unit, I held a birthday party for my mother. I think the boss will give gifts based on the amount I give. But this is not the case, the boss just gave a gift of 100.
I remembered a heart-wrenching saying: "The biggest mistake in being a human being is to overestimate the position in the hearts of others."
If you are polite to others, it does not mean that you will be favored by others. There are even many people who take it for granted, and there are some people who have been spoiled by you.
When you retire and interact with anyone, there is no relationship of exchange of interests. The number and frequency of gifts will change greatly. Perhaps, is ruthless because it is useless.
The most tragic thing is that some "good gifts" are flattering on their thighs.For example, Ming Dynasty rich man Shen Wansan helped Zhu Yuanzhang to build the city wall, and he made a great contribution. But he said, "I also need to help reward the three armies," which made Zhu Yuanzhang very embarrassed. In the end, Shen Wansan was sent to Yunnan.
Social interaction in the workplace cannot be measured by the amount of gifts, but by work performance. If your boss promotes you, don’t invite him to dinner or give him a lot of gifts, but do things steadily and live up to expectations.
03
"Anonymous gift, showing generosity": may cause misunderstanding and suspicion.
Historist To Fuller once said: "A generous person never repays for giving gifts to others."
The idea of doing good deeds without leaving a name will also be reflected in the process of taking gifts. When you meet poor relatives and friends, you will quietly leave a red envelope without writing a name. You hope the other party doesn't remember yourself and don't give you a gift.
At some wedding banquets, you will also receive some gifts or gifts without names written.
"Who gave the gift?" Once such a question emerges, it will guide a person to figure out the matter. After all, no one wants to owe favors.
In some movies, you will also see a powerful person who receives a mysterious gift. He will not be happy, but will be alert and think there is a fraud. And, it often feels right.
The pictures in the movie and things in life have many similarities.
As the saying goes, "Curiosity kills the cat."
Anonymous way of giving gifts is not advisable, and if not done properly, it will lead to family conflicts among others.
For example, a couple gets married and receives a big red envelope. The husband thinks it was given by his wife's "ex-in-law", and the wife denies it in every way, and the matter cannot end.
Be honest and give gifts happily. If it is a special gift, you should take the initiative to make it clear and avoid various misunderstandings.
04
Pit avoidance guide.
In winter, you can see the verdant nature of pine and cypress ; in retirement, you can see the coldness of human feelings.
When communicating with each other, we must do three things: First, do not expect gifts to be equal, allow ourselves to lose money, and accept great gifts from relatives; second, give gifts according to our own economic conditions, and do not increase the burden on the family; third, do not receive any reward without merit, and make clear everything, strengthen communication, and do not grow "bad habits".
Gifts are a way to increase emotions and activate the atmosphere. Never become a tool to manipulate human feelings.
May you and me live a simple life without being trapped in love.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
