I am willing to tell you my story, but I just want to use your pen to keep many girls like me in the world from being trapped in too deep emotional quagmire. Because compared with happiness, there are too many such pains, and it is unforgettable for life.
1. First love is like a bowl of sweet wine
My boyfriend and I have been in love with each other for 8 years, and it’s so long that we can run away from Japan. I don't know who will be like us now, in love for so long.
My boyfriend and I are both first love. At that time, we had just graduated from university and were divided into one unit. We were different from now on. We studied hard in college and never thought of falling in love. Teachers and parents kept knocking on wooden fish in our ears, and they were very strict. Therefore, although I have been together for a long time and some male classmates have left a deep impression on me, once I graduated, everyone goes their separate ways and it’s over.
I went to report with him that day. When I left my unit, it started to rain heavily.
I brought an umbrella, but he didn't. Just as I was about to leave, he called me and said, "Miss, can you borrow light to save me from the pain of rain?" After that, he made a move for me to hold my head in my arms. I smiled at him and agreed. He opened the umbrella, I approached him, and walked into the rain together.
In the rain, he told me many jokes, and I laughed so hard that I leaned back and forth, so I missed the station. Finally, he sent me into the car and said to me quietly, "In order to thank the beauty for saving the hero, I received my first salary. I must treat you to a meal at Kendeki." At that time, Kendeki had just come to Shanghai and was still a fashionable thing.
so we got together. I like him to be free and unrestrained, and I like him to be full of witty words. Often, I would go to his office until I got off work and listened to him, but I didn’t know it was dark.
Slowly, I learned more about him. He was always a good student when he was studying and everything went well. After work, he was unwilling to continue working in obscurity, hoping to achieve a big career.
He told me to wait for him for a few years. When he was thirty, he would have to make a name for himself. Only then would he marry me. He wants his beloved woman to live better than anyone else.
These words sound very empty now and have no specific content. But to me, I was already very excited. I think I found the best man in the world and he will definitely give me happiness.
Next, the unit's performance was not good, and some people began to be laid off. Of course, we are not yet laid off, but our income is very meager. We thought that this would not work, so we decided to do something on our own. He set up an online company, and I went to advertise with a classmate. This is his arrangement, and he said that it is called not to put two eggs in the same blue.
Soon after, his business started and was very prosperous. He made hundreds of thousands of dollars, and I was able to make a living.
Because we are too busy, we have very little time to see each other. He never had time to tell me jokes anymore. As for me, I often argue with him because things are not going well.
There was a Christmas and I had dinner with him.
In the dining room, I told him, let’s get married, we have been talking for 8 years, I am almost 30 years old, enough.
But he said that next year, will you wait for me for another year? Didn’t you say that you would get married until you were 30 years old and let my business be bigger.
I said, I don’t want anything now, just like you, even if you are begging for food, I just want you.
Finally he got angry and said, "Why are you doing this? I'm not doing this for your own good?" We have worked hard for so many years, aren’t we just coming soon for this day?
I told him, either get married immediately or don’t come to me again. After saying that, I left alone.
2. The first time I drank dried red wine, it was sour, astringent and aftertaste
Although I said that, I actually agreed with him.
Calm down and think about it. It is very difficult to get him like this now. I am doing things myself and knowing his situation.
After leaving that night, I regretted it very much. But I am a strong person and I vow to do my own thing well.
We haven't met for three months. Every time he comes to me, I don't see him. It’s not that I’m angry with him, but that I think I must act like this to show you.
At the same time, I was in contact with a big customer at that time and was very busy. I just wanted to accept this customer before going to find him, and by the way he knew that I was doing a good job now.
This is about Xiao.
At the beginning, it had nothing to do with Xiao, but I met someone in my 40s when I was having dinner with my friends. There was nothing particularly attractive about it.
is over after the meal and has not left any impression.
I only remember that he is in the mechanical processing industry. I don’t think this industry doesn’t do any advertising, so I don’t take it to heart.
Half a year later, he suddenly called me and said that there was a big beverage brand that wanted to enter Shanghai and do some advertising. Are you interested?
When I heard this news, my eyes lit up. Who is the advertising person who doesn’t want it to be a big brand? I even said I would. He introduced the client to me that day.
A large customer, tens of millions of advertising dollars a year, is really tempting, but if you want to do a lot of work, understand the market, engage in creativity, and do dozens of copywriting at the same time.
At that time, I really did it day and night. First, it is not easy to be a big customer, and second, I want to make some appearance to show him.
Xiao knew nothing about advertising, but he saw that I was so busy and couldn't get involved, so he was anxious and stayed by my side every day.
I said to him, don’t worry about me, I have my way.
He said, I am not worried about you, I am for myself. I saw that your business was not easy to do, so I finally found a friend to introduce this business to you. If you can't do it in the end, it would be hard for me to explain it to my friends, but I praised Haikou in front of them. Now we are tied together.
I was a little moved at the time. A person who was not a friend just had a meal together and introduced a large customer. And after this customer has finished, he may not be able to gain much benefit.
I said to him, don’t worry, I won’t let you collapse. I just don’t understand why you trust me so much and introduced such a big customer to me all at once?
He said, I heard you that day that advertising business is not easy to do. I just wanted to be able to help you, because I am here too. If you have to do something by yourself, you cannot do without your friends’ help. I'm not familiar with this circle, so I can't help. Now that I have the chance, I must help you.
After hearing this, my heart became warm and I couldn't help but look back at him. On his simple face, I saw a sense of solemnity of a mature man, and my heart suddenly jumped wildly.
After more than two months, the plan was finally completed, and the customer accepted me as the general advertising agent of their brand.
That day, to celebrate the victory, we drank together for the first time.
When drinking, he kept praising me for my good plan and unique creativity.
Actually I know that Xiao did a lot of critical work in it, which made them finally choose me. But he didn't mention a word, and until now, he never mentioned this matter and always praised me.
When I couldn't help drinking, I hugged his face and kissed him.
He was suddenly stunned and looked at me motionlessly.
I said to him, I like you, you have entered my heart.
I got drunk that day, and it was Xiao who sent me to my own residence.
When he helped me clean up the house and wanted to leave, I pulled him away...
3. Now all I drink is bitter wine
My boyfriend looks for me like crazy.
I moved my residence, changed my phone, and moved the advertising company, so I didn't let him find me.
He and I have finished. Although we have been in love for 8 years, Xiao gives me the feeling that those 8 years are not worth the day now.
Xiao is a person with a family, and he has a strong sense of family responsibility.
I am with him, lingering and loving, but I know that he will not divorce his wife.
I never force him.
My idea was very simple at the time. As long as we are really good, why should we pursue the form of marriage?
In those days, I felt very simple. I worked in the company during the day and went home at night. He came over when he had time. We lived our normal life like a loving couple.
If he couldn't come, I would sit alone on the sofa, savoring the details of me being together, and I felt a burst of warmth in my heart.
Gradually, he came less and less.
I know he feels guilty in his heart, and he feels sorry for his family. But he couldn't live without me and could only hesitate between me and his family.
Every time he arrives at me, he always leaves silently and then hurriedly.
I know that because of me, his conscience is overloaded.
I felt very uncomfortable when I looked at his difficult pain. When I was alone, I was also wondering if I was too selfish and made my sweetheart frown for my own happiness. If this is true, then what happiness is there?
But I really like him so much, it is difficult for you to tell how good he is, but he just gives you that kind of down-to-earth and honest feeling.
You can act spoiled to him like a little sister, or you can point fingers at him like a big sister. All your happiness and pain, in front of him, slowly melted, melted into a heat flow, injected into your heart, filling you with warmth.
I can't stand his frowning expression, but I really can't bear to leave him. Finally, I thought of a solution, I would quietly get pregnant with his child and break up with him.
After I felt exactly pregnant, I suddenly evaporated in the world.
Xiao can no longer find me, my phone can no longer be connected, and the office will be gone.
I don’t know how Xiao lived these days, but I can imagine his painful expression.
Can I blame me? I'm a hundred times more painful than him. He also has his family, what do I have, except for the child who is destined to have no father in my womb?
The child grows up day by day in my belly, and my longing is getting stronger and stronger.
Several times, I dialed Xiao’s phone number and heard his voice, but I finally hung up the phone.
I know that if I take this step, I can never look back. Only in this way can my life and his family be truly preserved. On the contrary, what kind of bitter fruit will it be?
But when my child looks at me with doubtful eyes one day in the future and asks me for his father, how will I answer him? Can I tell him this story?
