Everyone should have read this sentence: " Happy marriages are always the same, but unfortunate marriages are different." Although everyone's original intention of choosing to enter a marriage is to be happy and fulfilled, they often seem so powerless in the face of the mess of life.
There are many couples who have cracks in marriage in reality. Women are eager to change their hearts and return to their families through their own efforts. Men also long to maintain this marriage, but the marriage still becomes in name only, and the two of them eventually become the most familiar strangers under the roof.
I believe many people think that "betrayal" and sex must be bound together, and the cracks in marriage must be due to the appearance of a third person.
But, the teacher wants to tell you the truth about a cruel marriage: "Long before betrayal, marriage was already dead in name only" . What the person who chooses to betrayal really needs in his heart is the support, understanding and respect of his partner, but when these needs cannot be obtained in marriage, he will definitely look for outside of marriage.
Today, the talented man will talk to you about What behaviors are really destroying your feelings, and see how to improve and avoid it?
. Harsh attitude
Many couples will look at each other and will not like each other in any way, so they will blame each other when they are dissatisfied, and blurt out their words whenever they are dissatisfied.
For example, if a man has something that you are not satisfied with, he will blurt out immediately: "Look at this person, you are like this, you can't do anything well, you can't remember it after saying it so many times. I really don't know what your brain can do."
Maybe you just want the other party to do things well and hope that he will make progress, but in the other party's eyes, you are just criticizing and criticizing him, which will only cause his dissatisfaction. Whether is intentional or unintentional, mutual accusation is not conducive to the development of marriage .
So what should we do at this time?
First of all, we need to change the communication method of two people and communicate calmly with objective evaluation . Because the essence of communication is to get along better after solving problems, rather than venting one's emotions by hurting one's own emotions.
There will definitely be moments when two people get along with you. We need to do "To things, not people, tell the other person your true feelings, instead of always placing against each other's problems and blaming each other."
Marriage life requires "turning a blind eye". There is no perfect partner in this world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, even the perfect God will have flaws.
When you are emotional and unable to control your desire to blame the other person, you can try to temporarily leave this environment, go out alone or calm down like a quiet place for a while. When you can communicate calmly, then communicate, and the communication will become more effective at this time.
. Sarcastic
The basis for entering a marriage is to love each other and trust each other. If you keep sarcastic sarcastic sarcastic sarcastic sarcastic sarcastic will be used to sarcastic sarcastic sarcastic .
There is often a situation where women look at the leisurely work and are not motivated and get angry and are helpless. So in order to motivate men to be proactive, they often say: "Look at how many tens of thousands of dollars next door have earned this year", "Look at who has changed to a new car this year."
These women think that words that can motivate men are just to mock him for not making money and accuse him of incompetence. It not only hurts men's self-confidence, but also casts a layer of negative energy on marriage.
Love is not looking for a flawless partner, but enjoying the imperfect person with a perfect eye . Two people consciously change their shortcomings, while also tolerating and accepting each other's imperfections.Love is the difference that I appreciate you, you accept my imperfection, and two imperfect people are together to become better us.
Teacher also mentioned repeatedly before that does not have a perfect marriage. Even if two people are suitable, they will be dissatisfied with each other, and they still need to work together.
We must understand that sarcastic, sarcastic, and constant sarcasm are not good for marriage, and will only make two people more disgusted with each other. Respect the other party, accept the other party’s original appearance, do not try to change the other party, and do not interfere with the other party’s freedom, which is beneficial to the marriage relationship.
3. Shifting responsibility
Based on the nature of people seeking profit and avoiding harm, when problems occur, they will subconsciously excuse themselves and push the fault on the other party.
For example, you went out for a trip in an interest, but he misjudged the time, which caused you not to catch the bus.
He said, "It's all your fault. I have to buy tickets and push everything to me. I'm very tired. Don't you know? If you look at the time, this will not happen, it's your fault." Then he kept accusing you, and even continued to suppress you with the mistakes you made in the past, so that you can't criticize his mistake this time.
Many men who do wrong things do not admit their mistakes and choose your mistakes with confidence, because they feel that bowing their heads to you will lose the moral commanding heights, being suppressed by you, and making them breathless. In order to avoid being hurt, they use this method to protect themselves.
When you meet such a man, it is very important to master the negotiation skills of . Just communicate with him in-depth .
From marriage to family, let him put down his guard, clarify his mistakes, discover his true inner needs in communication, and then rationally analyze whether his needs are reasonable, and finally formulate rules to let the initiative of his feelings take into your hands.
couples need to work together to find the root cause of the results, rather than to worry about who is responsible. is the most important thing to solve the problem together .
Marriage is just a contract, it cannot make two people happy to become one person. Only by avoiding the wrong way of getting along can the marriage be happier and more fulfilling.
