On the second day of the wedding, Yu Feixue wore a red dress at the wedding banquet, disheveled her hair, and with her face that had not taken off her makeup since the wedding, she cried into a panda, and shouted hysterically downstairs of Zhu Zhe, "Let Zhu Zhe come down, Chen Zufa cheated all my money before the wedding..."
and fainted directly.
Yu Feixue, who was full of happiness and was very happy to marry, became a joke at the banquet on the wedding day. This is not only painful, but also shameful, a lifelong shame for a woman.
At this time, Zhu Zhe was leisurely enjoying the joy of the weekend in hotels in other cities.
Both are women, and this moment of life is different.
After watching the entire " Ode to Joy 3", I fell into deep thought. Yu Feixue and Zhu Zhe have a small age gap, and their social experience should be less than a little different.
Yu Feixue is loved and protected by his family. After graduating from college, in addition to his job, he is also working part-time to make money.
In contrast, Zhu Zhe was born in a remote mountainous area and his parents prefer boys over girls. She went out to study at the age of fifteen or sixteen, and was arranged by Vocational High School to be a waiter in a hotel. With her weak shoulders, she not only supports her parents but also provides tuition fees for her younger siblings from childhood to adulthood. After more than ten years of hard work, I finally got the best of my hard work and became the homestay manager of the star-rated hotel.
Regularly speaking, Yu Feixue, who has better overall conditions, should live better, but the facts are just the opposite.
What is the reason? Zhu Zhe can avoid the pursuit of scumbag and avoid a disaster. However, Yu Feixue is tempted to get a treasure to scumbag, and eventually lost all the face of being cheated, and even took huge debts?
What is the difference between Yu Feixue and Zhu Zhe?
Reasonable self-positioning
After calculating the economic accounts firmly, Zhu Zhe scared away the scumbag Chen Zufa. When I got home in the evening, I brought my hairy crabs and Ye Zhenzhen to have a drink and chat.
Ye Zhenzhen asked her, why did you send Chen Zufa to two conditions?
Zhu Zhe answered this way:
"People with stable jobs and career development generally do not have any intentions for working class like me who are not well-off. Then I will use these two points to test his attitude and block his attempts..." It can be seen that Zhu Zhe has a very reasonable assessment of himself.
Although he has worked hard for more than ten years and has achieved the position of star hotel room manager, in fact, he is a working class who does not have much fuel and needs to follow the steps.
Zhu Zhe knew that he had no outstanding appearance, no background, and average strength. He was just an extremely ordinary woman with good conditions and promising future men would not come up and ask for marriage as soon as they appeared.
The story of the prince and Cinderella in fairy tales is impossible in reality.
Even if it is very unexpected, it is not reasonable for the prince to suddenly marry Cinderella, because there are many princesses around who have a better appearance, wealth and abilities than Cinderella to choose from.
There will be something wrong with it.
So, Chen Zufa suddenly appeared, most likely, was either not the decent elite man he wanted to show, or had other plans.
But no matter which one it is, I want to take advantage of Zhu Zhe.
Zhu Zhe didn't plan to greed for others, but he wouldn't let people take advantage of it for no reason, so he simply decisively rejected the scumbag.
and Yu Feixue had no awareness at all. After being cheated on
, when Wumei on the 22nd floor helped Yu Feixue analyze Chen Zufa’s motives and find clues, Yu Feixue said to He Minhong: "Actually, she doesn’t know Chen Zufa. Chen Zufa appeared very suddenly, saying that she saw her information on the dating website, and then enthusiastically pursued Yu Feixue, and then put marriage on the agenda."
Watch the rhythm in the TV series, Yu Feixue and Chen Zufa have not been together for several months since they met and got married.
A man who suddenly appeared suddenly pursued him fiercely as soon as he met him, and then he asked for marriage.
Yu Feixue never thought about why the other party was so enthusiastic about her just met, and why she wanted to marry her who didn’t know much and didn’t have a deep relationship.
If you understand it as love, love also takes time to get along and understand.
If you are anxious to get married, men are also human beings, and they are afraid of marrying the wrong person. It will be difficult for them to live a difficult life to drag down the rest of their lives.
Why is he so anxious to marry a girl he has known for not long before and goes home?
If he hadn't had flaws and was eager to trick a woman into going home to live, then for him, it doesn't matter who he married, and he has other purposes.
The former is a bad mind, but the latter is really elusive and sinister.
So, girls should not be confused by the temporary flowers in front of them, and they will go to the fire when they are emotional. Instead, we should learn to withdraw from time to time and think about whether this relationship is logical.
Don’t always feel that you are unique in this world and irreplaceable.
can not only treat yourself well, not let yourself be wronged, but also evaluate yourself reasonably. It is the real ability not to think too high.
Independent in heart
22 Floor Wumei, when discussing that Yu Feixue was deceived by Chen Zufa because of her hatred of marrying, Zhu Zhe said that when he was in his twenties, he often felt that if he couldn't marry before he was thirty, his life would be dark. Later, he thought about it and thought that he was really obsessed with it.
Ye Zhenzhen Ye said that since she graduated from college, her family has been urging her to get married, but fortunately she is determined and has not been brainwashed by her parents.
A Chu also said that parents are very surprised that any headache or fever can be linked to marriage, as if marriage can cure all diseases.
This is probably the source of women's emotional dependence, and the whole society also magically believes that marriage = happiness.
So, many women always think about what kind of person I will be happy when I meet someone in love.
Meet a rich second generation who truly loves me and loves me, and I live a life where someone loves money and spends money, and I am happy;
No matter how bad it is, as long as he truly loves me, treats me well, and tolerate everything about me, I am willing to share the joys and sorrows with him and create a future together...
Once I saw this sentence in an article by the emotional blogger Huo Yang, which I like very much:
"In modern society, many women are independent, successful in their careers, and seem smart and capable, but in fact, they are kneeling in their hearts."
didn't understand why a successful and smart woman can still kneel in her heart.
Now I understand that the sentence "I am kneeling in my heart" means that we women are only independent in external postures, but spiritually, they are still very dependent on emotions, marriage and partners.
has only yet discovered that success in career and independence in the heart are completely different.
A successful career depends on ability, experience, and hard work.
is independent in the heart, relying on experience, awareness, and continuous thinking and summary.
The former will likely succeed with hard work, while the latter will need some opportunities to learn from it in addition to hard work.
Zhu Zhe is very lucky. Not only is she successful in her career, she is smart and capable, she also happens to be an independent person in her heart and spiritually independent person.
She never expects her quality of life, career planning, and future happiness is achieved by another person. She is more clear that her happiness is achieved by others, and she is purely a dream.
So, she was immune to the sweet words Chen Zufa said, "Men should make money to support their families" and "I will support you in the future".
Therefore, we can distinguish Chen Zufa’s false intentions, see that Chen Zufa has other plans, and then stay away from him resolutely.
and eventually, I avoided myself from jumping into the fire pit.
Understand the essence of marriage and love
Zhu Zhe said to Chen Zufa who proposed marriage, "I am a plain person, and my life is all about the implementation of the firewood, rice, oil and salt, so we'd better sit down and talk about how to get this marriage."
As a result, before the meal started to be eaten, Chen Zufa began to confess his sincerity:
"I know I was wrong. It was me who was sorry for you. I asked me to compensate you. I will take you to a more advanced restaurant for dinner in the future..."
But such a sincere person, he was nervous even if he paid a similar meal;
is so earnest to get married, but he can't even deal with the expenses of a decent family, and constantly intends to lower the other party's quality of life.
In the end, Zhu Zhe's two requirements for post-marriage economic accounts, additional inquiry into the salary flow in the past two years and going to his company to inspect his career planning, which made Chen Zufa unable to continue, so he had to give up the idea of pursuing Zhu Zhe.
I have to say that Zhu Zhe is really clear-headed and good at observing people's hearts. He directly grasps the essence of things and steps on the scumbag's pain point to death.
In fact, Zhu Zhe's operation is both a means and a fact.
Economics expert Xue Zhaofeng once said: "The essence of marriage and love is a community of interests."
Then the benefits are the first priority, that is, food, clothing, housing and transportation should be implemented, rather than relying on empty words to maintain it.
Whether it is love or marriage, a man’s efforts are the most real expression.
Most women who see men's actions and actual dedication to measure whether a man is sincere or not will be happy; while women who listen to men's touching words with their ears often lose their wives and soldiers.
Yu Feixue was probably moved by the sweet words produced by Chen Zufa in mass production, and the operation of chasing and fighting with flowers and chocolates at low cost. Then, he happened to be urged by his family to marry until he hated his marriage, and he got on the pirate ship in a daze.
was also slaughtered to the point of being completely exhausted. Not only did he gain a career prospect, but he even almost lost his life. The pure jade girl who became famous all over Asia was also the Japanese actress Nakamori Akina . The relationship between Akina Nakamori and the century scumbag Kondo Mahiko is a typical example of falling in love with your ears.
Akina Nakamori and Mahiko Kondo were together, scumbag cheated countless times. In front of them, there was Japanese actress Matsuda Holyko , and later, there was a big sister in the music industry Anita Mui , and there were countless daily scandals.
But as long as the scumbag coaxes Akina Nakamori and takes a soft hand, the girl can give up the famous music competition awards, interrupt his career, and even spend huge amounts of money to buy luxury houses, decorate and even commit suicide by cutting his wrists to keep the scumbag.
But everything is just making wedding dresses for others. Not long after, the scumbag got married to someone else in the new house she bought with money. What's the use of being nice and obedient? It's just a trap of flowers.
So, in any relationship, don’t listen to what the other party says to you, but keep your eyes wide and see what he is willing to do for you.
In fact, I always thought that Yu Feixue was cheated because of a love brain, but I always felt that the description was inappropriate.
We girls often have unclear understanding and are easily fooled by sweet words;
often feel wronged and hurt in a relationship;
often can't let go of someone and can't forget someone;
even have many girls who know that the other party is fooling you and hurting you, but they just can't bear to let go, can't get out, can't forget.
In fact, we all know that we are making mistakes, but we just can't get out of it.
Maybe these are not only love brain , but a kind of deprivation.
This lack may be because he fails to recognize his true value, or he is too arrogant and unwilling to accept the truth that the other party doesn’t love you - why doesn’t he love me? Either they are obviously very good and beautiful, with a lot of suitors, but they can't see their own preciousness, so they have to be that humble dog.
This lack may also be because you have not yet improved your spiritual independence and have been deformed by the "Qiong Yao style, Mary Sue style, domineering president-style" emotional view. You think that love can be beautiful and marriage can be happy...
is more likely because you have not figured it out. The so-called sincerity must be reluctant to let you down and will make contributions to you.
And all love brains or scarcity are ultimately because we girls don’t work hard to let ourselves grow.
Our energy and time are consumed in the so-called relationship, and our vitality disappears in the torture of speculating and comparing various details. The personal vision, thinking wisdom, ability and experience have not improved at all.
has neither the wise eye to recognize people nor the ability to maintain relationships, nor the wisdom to get rid of yourself from the abyss.
More regrets, how unworthy...
In fact, I have also been in a lot of love, and after experiencing marriage and becoming a mother, I realized that falling in love is never simply about relationships.
Because of the essence of gender relations, it is a collection of social abilities, personal emotional intelligence, IQ, confidence, experience and even game abilities based on emotions.
You are full of love, but only love, without any reliance or resistance, how can you not be hurt?
So, if you are also emotionally injured, instead of being in a position and unable to get out, it is better not to forget, not to talk about letting go, and let go first.
Extract yourself, settle yourself, slowly expand yourself, go out, and slowly improve and perfect yourself in other aspects.
Then, suddenly, one day, or at a certain moment, you will find that you will be relieved of the unwillingness, obsession, lack of understanding, and no acceptance of the past. When facing relationships and anyone, you can be calm and calm.
This is growth.
