text: Maizi Picture: From the Internet
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Regarding the topic of single mothers taking a girl to remarry, I once saw this sentence online: When choosing a key step, you must be very cautious, otherwise you may regret it for life.
I was also a single mother with a daughter. I also experienced a storm of emotions twenty years ago, but I bravely escaped and fled. Now that I think of that long-closed past, I still feel scared. But it is more of acknowledging my loneliness and courage back then.
I originally had a happy family, my husband was hardworking and capable, and my six-year-old daughter was lively and charming. Unfortunately, there will be unexpected changes in the world, and people will have good fortune and good fortune at any time. In 2000, my husband drove a small truck and crashed into a deep ditch on the side of the road. The car was destroyed and people died on the spot.
My husband left and lost his pillar. I forced myself to control his funeral. I was completely disappointed and wanted to go with him. But looking at my young and ignorant daughter beside me, who will raise my daughter who loves me after I leave? I made up my mind secretly.
Although her father has gone, I must not let my daughter suffer and be wronged. I will give her twice as much love to accompany her to grow up.
The husband left, and a lively home was half empty. Every day, I force my daughter to smile and send her to school, and I can't help but cry alone. Half a year later, a classmate in Zhengzhou called me and said that it would be better to go out to work and change the environment. You can't always stay at home and make people feel worried.
I think it will depend on me in the future. My mother and mother need money everywhere. The little savings we saved when we were alive were small, and I was anxious.
I discussed with my in-laws at home and hoped that they would help me take care of my daughter so that I could go out to earn money to support my family. My parents-in-law's physical condition is OK and reasonable. Although their pain of losing a child is more heart-wrenching than me, they still expressed their understanding and support for my thoughts and supported me to go out to work.
I put all the cotton replacement clothes of my daughter, and repeatedly reminded my parents-in-law to take care of some details on her daughter, and then reluctantly bid farewell to her daughter and went to Zhengzhou.
The life of working in Zhengzhou was not easy at first, and after many twists and turns, I settled down. Working in two shifts in a food factory, although the night shift is really hard to deal with, I work harder and earn more than I earn.
I am alone outside, I am not afraid of hardship or fatigue, I am afraid of hearing a child beside me call me mother. Whenever I see a girl of the same age as my daughter holding hands with my mother. My heart will hurt like a tear.
At that time I had no choice. Although I know that the child’s grandparents love the child very much, it’s cold. Has the daughter added clothes? It's raining, is my daughter getting wet? A mother can only helplessly face her hometown and have no choice but to do anything.
Only by working overtime to earn money makes me tired and sleeping in my rented hut can I reduce the pain of losing my husband and the pain of missing my daughter. It was also in that state that a colleague who knew my situation advised me to find a suitable person in the city to get a home while I was young and take my daughter over to go to school and educate in the city. It was not beautiful.
I was really moved. No matter how good my husband was to my mother and daughter, he would pass away and never look back. I want to think about my daughter's future. I can't bear to keep my daughter from being a left-behind child in a backward countryside. I am a single woman working as a farmer in the countryside, and my life will not be much better.
In that state of mind, I met Lao Qin through a colleague's introduction. Lao Qin is seven years older than me. He divorced and brought a twelve-year-old boy. He is a local from a village in the city. He has a formal job and a self-built two-story building. At that time, I thought his hardware conditions were also good, so why can’t he find a wife?
When I met, I realized that Lao Qin first looked average and was not as silly as ever, but mainly because of his dull personality and poor speech. At that time, I said it was not appropriate to refuse.
But later Lao Qin asked the introduction to bring me a message, promising that if he got married, he could find connections to move my mother and daughter’s household registration to the city, and to place my daughter in a good school. He also said that if I marry, I would hand over my salary to me.
Actually, I am not a material woman. I only value one of the material conditions that Lao Qin promised, that is, I can transfer my daughter to a good school. If it can be realized, it will be in line with my wishes.
I tried dating Lao Qin for more than two months. I felt that although I was not good at speaking, I was considered an honest person. At that time, Lao Qin said something that really touched my heart. He said that when you get married, we will have both children. I will treat it as my biological daughter.
What is the biggest weakness of a single mother with a daughter? If she remarries and starts a family, can her daughter be treated well!
Thinking that since Lao Qin can say such thoughtful words, he will not be bad. After less than three months of getting to know each other, Lao Qin and I moved together and did not get the marriage certificate (it was his intention. At that time, there was a saying about family planning . He said it would not be too late to get the certificate after having a child, so he took advantage of the policy loopholes), but he also invited his relatives and friends and had a brief meeting. It was a real marriage.
After getting married, Lao Qin did not fulfill his promise to give me his salary, but did not say anything and didn't even explain. He was in a good mood and gave me a hundred yuan. If it was not good, he would throw me a few dozen yuan on the table. I thought at the time that he would not care about it as long as he had food and accommodation. Maybe he didn't trust me even after he got married.
I still try my best to do my duty as a wife and stepmother. His son lives in the school and comes back once a week, and he doesn't have much conflict with me, the stepmother. When I come back, I will improve his food and wash clothes for him.
I think that people's hearts are full of flesh. I treat his son well, and it may be exchanged for his kindness to my daughter.
Because in September that year, my daughter was going to be in the second grade of elementary school. When I got married, my daughter was in the second half of the first semester. I thought it was difficult to follow up on transferring schools in the middle. Just wait for the upgrade to come again.
Wait for the stars and the moon finally waited for my daughter to have summer vacation. Lao Qin and I discussed taking advantage of the holiday to bring my daughter over to get to know her living environment in advance.
Unexpectedly, he suddenly changed his face and said he was not in a hurry. It was not too late to come back after school started. How could I not be in a hurry? I used to work outside and live in a place without a fixed place and let my daughter be by my side. Now that I have a family, I won’t take my daughter over?
Seeing him change his face, I was anxious and asked him, "You said you were looking for a relationship and asked someone to find a school. Until now, I don't know which school the child is going to go to when he starts school, and have you done this?"
Unexpectedly, Lao Qin, who was dull on weekdays, suddenly got furious and shouted at me, "Don't you want money to find connections?" Do you want money to ask someone? Come on, give me your money, my money is not blown by the strong wind.
I was stunned at the time and looked at him as if I didn’t recognize him. A few months ago, I looked at him as a taciturn honest man. The sea mouths he praised were still in his ears. Why did he become like this in a few days after getting married?
The first quarrel occurred half a month after getting married. Lao Qin seemed to have become a different person, looking for my problem every few days. The house I cleaned up was irregular and the food I cooked was tasteless. After I finished the night shift, as long as he was at home, I couldn't sleep, and said I knew how to sleep like a pig.
Before and after marriage, it is completely different. Sometimes I doubt whether I really didn’t do well enough, which made him dislike me. After all, I came from the countryside and didn’t have much knowledge.
and I suggested that if I did something wrong, you can propose it in a good manner. We should manage this remarried family well and not make noises every day and let the neighbors laugh at it.
Facing my sincere advice, he disdained it and instead cursed that there was no good thing in the neighbors, so don't let me deal with them.
Who is this? I was a little discouraged and reluctant to retreat. But my family knows that I am remarried and will take my daughter to the city to go to school. Now if I give up, how can I face the reality?
I deceived myself and thought that although he has a weird personality, he may not be bad at all. Isn’t it true that he doesn’t hit someone every time he quarrels?
I comforted myself just that, thinking that I might as well go back to my hometown to take my daughter over to see him, and he would not tolerate my daughter. Make plans again.
I asked for leave and said I would go back to my hometown to pick up my daughter, but he didn't care about it all the time. He ignored me when I took my daughter over a few days later. My daughter was seriously unacceptable to the local environment when she first came, so she vomited whatever she ate for a week. Even my stepson at home during the summer vacation was concerned about this new sister and asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital for a look.
Because my daughter came over, I was worried that my daughter was at home alone, so I quit my work from two shifts. I thought about finding a job that suits my child to take care of my family when school starts. Unexpectedly, Lao Qin was furious again after he found out, "Who will support you after quit his job? She is so old and you will spend twenty-four hours watching?"
In front of the two children, I didn’t want to have too much quarrel with Lao Qin. I asked the colleague who introduced us in private and asked him why he was hiding Lao Qin’s true character?
Colleagues complained that they were wronged, saying that they actually knew Lao Qin's brother-in-law, and he did not know Lao Qin's personality specifically. The Haikou that was praised before marriage was all the messages from his brother-in-law, and they should not be taken seriously whether it is true or false.
I asked my colleague to send a message to his brother-in-law and asked him to ask Lao Qin if he really wanted my daughter to come to school in the city? Do you want to live a good life?
A few days later, my colleague sent a message and said: Lao Qin wanted to live with you, but he just regretted that he didn't want your daughter to come so early. Wouldn’t it be nice to let your daughter continue to go to school in her hometown and let her grandparents take care of her?
After hearing what my colleague said, I instantly understood that Haikou, which I praised before marriage, was just a big cake for me. It’s just a little bit of knowledge and clumsyness in your eyes. After learning from the pain, I could see clearly that this was a scam.
Old Qin knew that his colleague had sent me a message, and he no longer covered his little plan when facing me. He also pretended to get close to me, saying that the family planning was tight, and that my daughter was not the time to come now. It would not be too late to pick up her daughter when we had a child. .
I understand in my heart that he wants to build me a free nanny and fertility machine he ideally has.
Lao Qin's strange character made him depict the prospect of a better life with me for a while, and then turned around and threatened me to live with him obediently, otherwise I would have good fruits to eat.
Facing Lao Qin who showed his prototype, I no longer faced him head-on, because I am single in this city. The reason why he dares to deceive me and play with him is determined to win is that I am a weak single woman far away from my hometown and can be bullied?
Okay, it’s really a matter of being heartless. I can always hide if my aunt can’t afford to offend me. (Actually, when I first started my family, I secretly took contraceptive measures. I thought that it would be better to wait until my marriage and life were stable. As long as I live my life sincerely, it would not be too late.)
More importantly, my daughter came to this family and couldn't feel any warmth. She always held my hand quietly and said: Mom, please send me back to my hometown. I am afraid of that Lao Qin, so he always glared at me with his eyes.
My daughter's happiness determines the direction of my life. I will not let my daughter accompany me for anything.
I decided to do it, so I followed Lao Qin's wishes and sent my daughter back to my hometown. She is not used to it here, so I will talk about it in a few years.
Lao Qin was very happy and gave me fifty yuan in travel for the first time (the trip to my hometown costs more than 100 yuan,) He told me to go early and go back early.
It is not easy for my daughter to come to the city. My mother and I left Lao Qin's house. I didn't rush to take the shuttle bus back to my hometown, but led my daughter to happily go to the park, zoo, and take a spaceship to watch monkeys and peacocks...
Looking at my daughter's excited little face, I felt a lot of emotion, daughter, wait for me, mom must strive for a good future, protect you and let you grow up happily and worry-free.
played with my daughter for a day. In the evening, my daughter and I temporarily rested in the small hotel at the bus station of . The mother and I hugged each other and talked in one bed. The eight-year-old daughter is sensible and well-behaved. She said that the man you found is not good to you at all. If my father is not good to you, we should not come back to our hometown if you are not happy.
Yes, my daughter can tell that I am not happy, but how can I talk about my daughter's happiness if my mother is not happy? So my daughter and I explained my plans and plans, and told her to continue to go to school in her hometown, and that her mother would change to another city to work.
My daughter said I am willing to go to school in my hometown. I don’t know anyone here, and I am reluctant to leave my classmates and friends in my hometown.
Yes, an adult has to endure a long time of discomfort when he goes to a strange place, let alone a child with a psychologically fragile one.
After returning to my hometown, I settled my daughter down. I told my in-laws truthfully about my situation and told them that I am not able to take my child to school in the city for the time being, and I have to trouble them to take care of the child.
In-laws said that their son is gone, Niu Niu is our baby, and we treat me as a daughter, saying that you are only in your thirties and that you can’t keep you in this family. You just go out to work and make a fortune. If you make a fortune, we will feel at ease. If you make a fortune, we will come home. We will help you plant those acres of land and live.
The enlightened attitude of my in-laws is my strong backing. This is a good in-law who is not one in a hundred miles in our countryside. How lucky I am.
No worries, I returned to my "home" in Zhengzhou, and I had my own arrangements when I went into battle lightly.
Lao Qin was very happy to see me coming back. I also showed that I was living a sincere life with him. Every day after he went to work, I went to the train station to see the train number chart from Zhengzhou to various cities, and finally decided to go to Xi'an.
Because when I returned to my hometown, I heard that there were several fellow villagers working there. I also copied a few phone numbers for contact. (At that time, mobile phones were not popular, they were all landline phones)
Calculate the time for Lao Qin to work. When he got off work, I had already prepared food for him at home. When he left, I quietly packed my clothes and packed my luggage, and then secretly put it in a place he couldn't see.
Everything was arranged quietly. I took out paper and pen and wanted to leave a letter to Lao Qin.
letter is: I met you Lao Qin and I. I wanted to live a good life with you. I didn’t want all this to be based on your deception. I wanted to bring my daughter as you said, and we would live a happy life with both children. I didn’t want you to go back on your word. I lived a so-called marriage life with you. I didn’t get a marriage certificate, and I didn’t ask for your bride price. So you treat marriage as a joke, and I won’t stay with you to the end. Just leave here.
In addition, I know where you save money, (I accidentally discovered it) It is in the small wooden box under your cabinet, and there are a total of 40,000 yuan. Go and see if I touch you a cent? Just telling you this means that I am not a greedy person, but a good woman who originally wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. When you see this letter. I'm already sitting on the speeding train, you can't find me, nor will you find me.
Your son is pitiful because of your selfishness that he has pissed off his mother since childhood. During this period, you have found two more wives, and without exception, they have not succeeded. (I came from your neighbors)
I am the fourth person you cheated back. So your son is pitiful. You should have given your son a complete home, but your selfishness has been destroyed.So your son has lost his maternal love since he was a child, so don’t let him lose your only fatherly love. So you dare not do anything excessive when you say something that threatens me, because now it is a legal society. If you hurt others, you will definitely be punished by law.
I wrote two letter papers in a scattered manner. After everything was arranged, he was on a day after he left work. I went out with my luggage and took the taxi that I had made reservations in advance and left.
When I arrived at the train station, I successfully took the train to Xi'an. Looking at the city gradually moving away from the window, I couldn't help but burst into tears.
This city I have stayed in for a short time. I have left behind so many sweat and several sleepless nights of working, and I have also had hopes for a better life, and the helplessness and despair after being deceived. Whether it is tired or hard, after all, for me, a village woman with shallow knowledge, these are all experiences, and only with experience can you grow.
From then on, this experience of being cheated and escaping in Zhengzhou has been buried in my heart. I could imagine the expression of Lao Qin when he saw the letter I placed on the coffee table after get off work, he must have been furious and stunned.
What if he doesn't care about it, he blames himself for being selfish and rebellious. He will blame himself for his own fault. Anyway, he disappeared from my world from now on, and I never heard of him as a demon.
Later, when I was in Xi'an, I worked hard to make money, and two years later, I met a good man and got married and started a family.
He treats my daughter as his own and trains her to go to school and find employment. All are doing their best.
My daughter got married this May Day. We organized her wedding with gloriousness. At the wedding, my daughter held her dad's hand and said: Why do you, dad, love me more than you kissed, making relatives and friends laugh.
More than 20 years have passed, and most of my life has passed. I dare not expect how happy and perfect my future life will be, but my daughter has grown up smoothly and got married and started a family. The stone hanging in my heart finally landed steadily.
Although Lao Qin had never done anything dirty to my daughter back then. But if he had lived in the same family for a long time, my daughter would not have received his kindness. So fortunately I stopped the loss in time.
The old saying goes, "I'm worried that my wife can't find a good man." So as a person who has experienced it, I remind single mothers who are raising girls that if you remarry, you must keep your eyes open and observe the man's character more. You cannot be in a hurry. You should try your best to investigate. If you find that the other party has any character problems, you must stop the loss in time and try every means to escape.
