Many precursors of mental cheating are all caused by an ambiguous chat across the screen.
They talk about those topics that you don’t know how to talk about, and it seems like a very boring little thing, which can also make them talk with relish. From these words, you see the lack of sharing desire and enthusiasm in your relationship.
Slowly, they have more and more common topics, and their names are becoming more and more intimate. It seems that the person in the virtual world has become his true destiny, and you have become a settlement in real life.
You think that person is so good that he can be so obsessed with him, but in the end you find that she is not good at looking good, has poor family background, has no money, has no ability, and has no stable job. It can be said that she is inferior to you everywhere, but she is the person you are that makes you miss her endlessly. Why is this happening to
? Is the screen a "filter" of relationships? Today's article will take you to take a look at the secrets behind online chat, allowing you to easily grasp the hearts of men.
01
3 The three secrets in online chat relationships
Many people may think that such a relationship really cannot be handled. You see, they will not have physical contact or sexual impulse, it seems that they are really just spiritual offerings. seems to be each other's "soul mates".
But in fact, behind these "soul fits" is just because of the form of online chat, "avoids disadvantages and highlights advantages." Why do you say so? In online chat, these three characteristics are generally attractive:
1. Enough imagination space
The most important thing that brings to the imagination space is the mystery. This sense of mystery will make people constantly enrich the image of another person with their own ideas. In the process of enriching, they will naturally bring their own biases and describe them in the direction I think they are beautiful and like.
And between online chats, leaves a lot of imagination space and mystery for each other. can arouse a person's passion for imagination and exploration, and let his consciousness be the master.
Just like when you are reading a novel, you will have a lot of your imagination of the characters and form your own protagonist, that is, the "Hamlet" of your own.
Assuming, if you meet someone who is extremely similar to the person you like in your mind, will you feel a little moved?
will definitely happen, after all, it is rare to encounter it. But at this time, can easily trigger the " suspension bridge effect " in psychology.
When people are facing dangerous signals, their heartbeats are accelerating, and another person happens to be by your side. The human brain easily mistakes the feeling of heartbeats as a "heartbeat" for this person. The existence of fresh stimulation of
can often stimulate people's inner throbbing and secretion of dopamine , making people feel happy and constantly pursue and seek.
2. Emotional value
There is emotional value in relationships, which will easily make the other person approach you. The more you chat with you, the more you talk to you, and become more and more open. This is also a very important point of closeness in the relationship.
Why does it say that having emotional value will make it easier for each other to get closer?
This is because people who provide emotional value will mainly convey three feelings:
1. Chat with me and you will think you are particularly good;
2. Chat with me and you will think we are both very good;
3. Chat with me and you will feel very relaxed;
For example, if there is a person who will constantly give you a feeling of "I am excellent", "I am great", and "I am capable" in the process of chatting with you;
and the other person either does not praise you or suppresses you, as if he cannot see your advantages, making you feel that you are bad, you will instinctively want to get close to the first person and seek that kind of warmth and comfort.
Therefore, "knowing to chat" is a way to easily generate relationship links.
When I find that you are very close to my heart and can meet these inner needs, no matter what you are like or what your background looks like, I think other things can be settled.
3. The radiance of personal charm
Online chat won't let two people live together every day, you don't have to see bad things from each other, hiccup . Farting, ignoring, doesn't need to deal with all trivial and trivial matters in the relationship, and you don't need to bear the responsibility for the relationship.
In other words, this relationship is floating, you only need to consider those "romance, flowers, snow and moon", and create a beautiful space that is far away from the noisy reality with the screen.
At this time, both of them have their own independent space and plenty of time to pay attention to themselves, live their own lives, have their own social circles, and what they want to do and do belong to their own interests, hobbies and life, while the other party is just a part of their own life.
If you have the energy to give for yourself, you will naturally exude your temperament and charm. This state of charming will give the other person the feeling that "You are shining, you are so outstanding, so dazzling."
Are you good-looking, do you have a background, and do you have the ability, all of which seem insignificant under this beam of light.
Just like when you see a model, you will think that "she is very temperamental", "very confident" and "sighted". Whether the model is in line with your understanding of beauty, and whether it will also have bad habits, it doesn't matter at that moment.
What is important is the state and sense of value she shows brings people's attraction.
has been sorted out like this. I wonder if you have any feeling that online chat relationships are the most attractive. The most core point is "it provides a sense of value that a person needs" .
These spaces, value and charm can make people feel like "I am held in the palm of my hand", "I am good enough, excellent enough", and "I am enough to be someone's true destiny".
. Once this feeling is stimulated in the relationship, is like inspiring a channel. Like taking drugs, may easily make the other party emotionally depend on it.
02
Two magic weapons to break the charm of online chat
Some people may think, since they are looking for a sense of value, why do you have to search online? Will searching in real life make him feel better?
This is also a pain point for many online chat people. It is precisely because does not feel any sense of value in real life that is why they look for it online.
So, if there is such a person in your life who has been indulging in the "online chat" relationship and you can't get it back, if you want him to pull it out of the virtual world, you only need to add the following two parts in your life:
1. Build his sense of value in life
Our previous analysis stated that such people lack a sense of value in real life, so when you have such people around you, you need to keep more thought and think about whether the value of this part is lacking in the relationship between you two. There are few positive feedback or praises in the past relationship.
Someone will also say, I have talked to him, but no matter how I say it, I can't wake him up. The more I want to chat with him, the more he runs, and the more I fight with him, what can I do?
communication is a very effective way, and the poor effect is a large part of the reason why there is something wrong with your expression.
For example, many people may say to each other: "Look, the teacher said that you chat online because you have no sense of value, so why don't you go and look for it? What kind of sense of value do you want? How can I know if you don't say it?"
This is accusation and complaining, and it is also revealing other people's past. He definitely doesn't like to listen. So how can he say it to make him feel valuable?
Today I left you a conversation idea. You can take this idea and go home to talk to the other party so that he can realize the problem. is also in your relationship and feel his own value. so that he doesn’t need to find a sense of value in the virtual world every day, and you will also become the person he cannot live without the most.
You can click "Private Message" and send "Conversation Ideas" to receive the corresponding information in the background .
2. Spend time and energy to invest in
When many people find that their partner is deeply involved in online chatting, they easily think about how to break him and how to get him back. They put all their energy and thoughts into the relationship. The more they feel there is a comparison, the more the person outside seems to be gentler and relaxed, and in the end, they are thankless.
So, after all, it is very important how you view yourself and how you distribute your energy.
If you treat yourself as a rope and all your time is tied to the relationship, no matter how good you do, your partner will feel that the rope is not soft in silk, and has a sense of space without a cage. is hard and unflexible, and it makes me feel uncomfortable when tied.
And if you are a magnet, spends part of your energy to improve yourself and expose your charm and attraction, then you don’t need to give the other party much restrictions, and he will lean on it himself.
So I advise you to be more careful, invest in yourself, and spend at least half of your energy on yourself. This is a sure profit and loss deal.
And if you are the person who is addicted to online chat, I understand that maybe in your life, you are taking on and pursuing these many things, hoping to make yourself live a better life.
But the way of online chat is just to keep you escaping from the real world. has built an illusory paradise, which will only make your reality shrink, and makes your life more difficult.
So if it is really for yourself, I hope you can stop from this virtual world and give yourself a chance, and will see the value you already have again.
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