-01
What does the other party’s “cold violence” mean in an intimate relationship?
First: Imature inner
Only an immature inner person is used to using "cold treatment" to solve problems in relationships.
They are used to escaping and silence in an intimate relationship.
When he responded to you in a silent way, his inner thought was: "You should understand me, even if I don't say it, you have to understand me." People like
are children spoiled by their parents in their original family.
cannot control one's own feelings and emotions, which is a manifestation of a person's inner immaturity.
Second: He is a selfish person
You read that right.
In love, selfish people only consider their own feelings.
If you are angry, don’t speak, don’t speak when you are sad, don’t speak when you are dissatisfied with your lover’s behavior.
Even if the lover bows his head and admits his mistake, he still doesn't speak. People like
only consider their own feelings, only care about their emotions but don’t think about them at all.
In other words:
He is sure that you will not leave him and will not break up with him on the voluntary basis, so he will do something that hurts you unscrupulously.
Third: Get used to suppressing one's emotions, escape personality
There is another type of people, which belong to the typical "escaping personality".
Simply put, it is:
In a relationship, once it makes him feel uncomfortable and makes him feel pressured, he will not face the problem directly, nor will he have the courage to solve the problem.
His subconscious choice was to "escape and hide".
is like an hedgehog . When encountering a crisis, it will hide in the thorn as soon as possible. The consequences of
are:
negative emotions, his thoughts, and his dissatisfaction with your relationship. These small problems have been accumulated in his heart; over time, it will completely erupt because of a fuse.
At that time, what awaits you is broken feelings.
Fourth: Force you to take the initiative to break up
has such a "slag-type love model".
They don’t love you anymore and will not tell you directly: “I don’t love you anymore, let’s separate.”
He will break up with you in a cold way, forcing you to bow your head, forcing you to not be able to endure this depressing state of love, and let you be that "bad person".
The common love state is like this:
Before breaking up, you can clearly detect his coldness.
does not reply to your message or will reply to you very late;
ignores your enthusiasm and does not move at all;
You give for him, but he is unwilling to give you the same reward;
No matter how good you are to him, no matter what means you use to fall in love with him, he is always a "cold and cold-hearted". All signs like
indicate that he doesn't love you anymore.
He just wants to make you feel that he has changed his mind to you, but he doesn't give you a reason.
You ask him, "Why did you treat me like this?"
He still ignores you.
What will you do at this time?
Most people will take the initiative to break up.
Even if the person you don’t love is him, he just uses cold violence to force you to break up.
The person you don’t love is him, the person who is good is him, and in the end the bad person is you. People like
are "behaved when they get cheap", and their character is often unreliable.
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Cold violence is the "accelerator" of the broken relationship
Any relationship that never gets a response will eventually end.
For example:
You often quarrel with your partner and have conflicts.
But every time he quarrels, he is unwilling to communicate with you.
If you reason with him, he will not speak;
If you list the causes and consequences of this matter with him, I hope he will communicate with you, but he will not speak.
A few days later, he gradually changed his attitude and continued to fall in love with you as if he was nothing.
But he ignored one thing: the contradiction has not been resolved and has been accumulated.
As you get along day after day, the conflicts between you two have accumulated more and more.
Finally one day, conflicts broke out completely and began to "return old accounts" to each other.
At this point, your relationship is basically over. Even if the ruptured cup is glued with glue, it cannot cover up the fact that it is incomplete.
-03
The other party is always cold and violent, what should I do?
Cold violence early stage:
Show your position, express your ideas, and take the initiative in your hands.
When he starts to violently violence against you, you should tell him your principles and bottom line.
said to him like this:
"I can tolerate your mistakes, but I can't stand your failure to communicate"
"I will communicate well with you, and I will calm down and discuss with you in the hope that we can solve the problem; I am not shaking your face, nor do I want to see you not talking."
"If you can talk, then let's talk; if you can't talk, you will regret your decision."
You explain what you think clearly and give him a step.
If he is willing to accept it, then solve the problem;
If he does not accept it and continues to be indifferent, then it is his own problem.
Cold violence medium period:
It's cold, you're even colder.
The best way to treat a partner who perfunctorily treats you, doesn’t love you, and makes you uncomfortable is to “rebound”.
How he treats you, you will return it.
He is indifferent to you? You are even colder than him.
He doesn’t talk to you for one day, so you don’t talk to him for two days.
If he asks you, "Why do you treat me like this?"
, you answer him, "I just let you feel your attitude towards me."
Some people, if you communicate with him with kind words, he doesn't want to pay attention to you at all.
When you become cold and act like "I want to leave", he starts to panic.
What do you mean by this? This is cheap.
Cold violence late stage:
Think about the next stage of love and give yourself an answer.
At this stage, you should also think clearly about where your relationship can go.
At least, you don’t seem to see a clear future.
Since you have figured it out, then spend more time, energy, and feelings on yourself.
There may be only one "breakup ceremony" left between you and the other party.
The best way to relieve pain is to focus on doing something and let your emotions be removed from bad feelings.
has worked hard, been humble, loved, but in the end he is still powerless to change; when it comes to this point, just give up.
After all, the other party is determined to leave you and you cannot keep it.
Today's topic:
The other party always "cold-handling problems", what would you do?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
