In this society that pays attention to speed and efficiency, the relationship between people seems to have to follow similar "laws":
To make a friend, you must be able to obtain a high amount of "value" from the other person. If you are in daily life, During the relationship, you find that the other person is “useless” , they will immediately put away their original enthusiasm and "please", and dive into the search for the next relationship without saying hello;
I have to say that this is a sad reality;
Everyone longs for true love, but in interpersonal communication Be cautious and cautious, walking on thin ice for fear of being deceived or taken advantage of. For the kindness and help
has given, we naturally long for reciprocal friendship. However, not everyone is worthy of our cherishment and deep friendship.
In this life, we must learn to perfect ourselves, and do not let indifferent people let down and waste our sincerity;
Whether a person is worthy of deep friendship can be discovered in the process of getting along. In these three places, it is easy to see .
Believe what you say
Confucius said in "The Analects":
"If a person has no faith, he does not know what he can do. A big cart has no hooks, and a small cart has no pulleys, how can it be done."
It means that if a person does not have Credit, I don’t know what else he can stand on in the world.
To judge whether a person is worthy of deep friendship, trustworthiness is the most important thing;
A person who breaks his word will not make you feel at ease and at ease even if he does not need to have deep friendship with him;
What he says is unreliable and does not count. He is completely irresponsible for it. You cannot establish normal and friendly contact with such a person;
They are full of lies and deception. When you do not know what is going on, you will believe them. If so, there's trouble , they will go along with the situation and bite you back, saying that they have no idea at all, and it is you who does not know right from wrong, which makes you miserable;
The evil consequence of interacting with such people is that they are good at playing tricks and adapting to the situation. If you are tempted by benefits, they will turn around and take you out. Selling is to please others;
When dealing with them, you have to be on guard at all times and be highly nervous, because you don't know their thoughts and calculations;
This kind of temporary relationship cannot withstand any unpredictable test.
Instead of being on tenterhooks, it is better to stay away.
Extremely self-interested
"Xunzi" says:
He who puts righteousness first and then benefit is honored, and he who puts benefit first and then righteousness is disgraced.
means that people who pay attention to morality first and then consider interests are glorious, and people who consider interests first and then pay attention to morality are shameful.
I believe that many people have encountered this kind of person in their lives;
When he needs you, he will grovel and deliberately cater to you. When you need him, he will avoid you and find excuses to shirk.
Normal and healthy interpersonal communication should be mutually beneficial and supportive of each other;
But you can never expect to coexist peacefully with such extremely selfish people;
Because they are like leeches, "sucking blood" from you. He does everything he can to make you serve him, often tormenting you, always based on his personal gains and losses, without any regard for your feelings.
If he doesn't take advantage, he will get angry and even blame you for not maximizing his interests;
When you don't say it clearly, they will take advantage of you as a matter of course, without apology and Guilt;
When you feel disrespected and unfair and reveal their true colors, they will take this opportunity to fall out with you and never have any contact with you again.
People like this who are self-centered in everything will only make us hurt and suffer. No matter who they are, we can break off the relationship.
Too strong a sense of superiority
"Fu Lei Family Letters" says:
Don't be too subjective and don't have a persuasive attitude. This is the most taboo, because even if you are right, the impression given to others is that you are Arrogant and arrogant.
The most comfortable distance between people is when each other can respect each other's living habits and interests;
As long as it is not immoral or morally inappropriate, no one should be discriminated against or attacked;
But there are still some people, they People who like to be conceited and are used to being aloof, looking down on all living beings and following the
For example, if you buy clothes from Taobao, they think you are tacky;
If you watch some funny videos, they think you are vulgar;
If you travel to a small place with beautiful scenery, they think you have no vision. and pattern;
you read some books with content, they think you are pretending Posturing;
In short, everything of others is inferior to him, they think that only their own is "noble";
Such people are often arrogant. Even if they make friends, they will not say it on the surface, but they will be divided into Only those who are higher than him will be willing to make friends, otherwise they will not bother to care about you;
even if he can be quiet Coming down to talk to you is also a superior gesture of giving guidance;
When we make friends, the main purpose is to be comfortable and happy, so that the quality of life will be high;
But in front of those who have an overly strong sense of superiority, we will only Instead of feeling sad or looked down upon by the other person, it is better not to interact with each other.
The poet Li Bai said: Life is precious and you know each other, so why use gold and money.
Friendship is very precious. Don't let those who are not worthy waste our sincerity. Please give your time and friendship to those who are worthy.
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