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01
No one will appear in your life for no reason. There is no one else to leave you for no reason.
When some people appear in your life, don’t be too lucky or too happy. This “arrival” is all due to a certain psychological expectation.
The exchanges, expectations and needs between people will change at different times. As long as these are satisfied just right or delayed satisfaction, the relationship will last.
When expectations and demands are often ignored, people's psychological perceptions will be more unbalanced, and the relationship will end or become extremely dull.
This is how people are. Once the relationship becomes unfamiliar, it will be even more difficult to restore the joy they used to be.
This is true whether it is family affection or friendship, or the love between men and women. Even ordinary acquaintances cannot escape the phenomenon of value determining relationships.
1 In this life, people are tired of being evaluated, despised, rejected and questioned, but they are still deeply trapped in it.
After all, everyone is talking about pleasing themselves, but they never understand:
Pleasing themselves is something that can only be done by removing unworthy relationships.
The more you are entangled with unworthy relationships, the less you won’t be happy!
And any relationship has a plan!
is separated from the relationship of the value map and does not exist!
The relationship between people is based on "conditions". These two simple words express the essence of the relationship between people! The essence of the relationship between
is the value map. Don’t think that having a hook on “value” is a negation of the relationship.
In fact, when you look at it carefully, you will understand that this value map is the soul of the continuation of relationships!
Give a few examples:
① Between you and your relatives, you do not know how to give, and you always interact with your family vulgarly. It won’t take long, your family will be by your side beside you except for your parents.
②Your friend may not have much money, but when you need someone to accompany you the most. He is by your side, giving you comfort and peace of mind. I will also give you positive suggestions, he must be your indispensable "noble person".
③There is either a spiritual resonance, material help, or empathy and sharing of empathy in the details of life, so you will continue to have a marriage relationship...
02
Even if you are a strange grocery stall owner, when you go shopping, he will be kind to you every time and give you some other side dishes. Next time you will definitely visit...
So you see, the interactions between people are either to gain spiritual pleasure, or to gain real benefits, etc. In short, the value lies in the relationship.
has some pictures, it's that simple!
Personality psychologist Jeremy Nicholson believes:
"The relationship between people is more like a kind of cooperation between the two parties. The generation and development of relationships always require certain conditions. There is no unconditional relationship in this world."
In fact, few people pursue or admit:
I care about someone, what is my picture? I left someone because the picture was not satisfied?
People, fundamentally speaking, in order to care about relationships, put on a pure coat, have been deliberately hiding the essence of relationships.
, or in other words, people tacitly cover each other upset.
When it is not absolutely necessary, people will not turn against each other. No one will be particularly obvious, holding on to the value of the purpose that they are not satisfied.
Because that will make you lose face. At the same time, you will feel that leaving no room for nothing is a matter of hurting one thousand and hurting one hundred. Instead of tearing apart, it is better to just smile and remember it in your heart.
This is the world of adults. Before there is no crack, all kinds of relationships can be used to cover up the small purpose of the goal with a "closeness". Once the relationship breaks down, each other does not have to expose it, and each of them understands it in their hearts.
03
After all, people cannot escape their selfish nature, that's it!
However, some people's selfishness is based on hurting the close relationship around them, while some people's selfishness does not disturb others The order of life is to only focus on oneself and strive for an ideal life.
It can be said that no one can truly altruistic in a relationship.
Selfishness is human nature, and value is the essence of relationship. Therefore, we will see or experience the following reality:
Face family affection:
When facing family affection, You will know that no one can be your never-changing support, even your relatives are no exception.
When you don’t have the conditions to satisfy or enjoy your loved ones, you are the person pushed away by family affection.
Face friendship:
When you don’t use the attitude I used to treat you and why you treated me so well, you can not be burdened by the words “I saw you wrongly”.
ml1 When the actual value you provide to your friends is not enough to give you an equivalent response, you are the dispensable in your friends' hearts.
Face the love between men and women:
Don't say I don't want anything but you just want to be like you. When your partner is not considerate, care about you, don't change your position, don't share, don't share, don't share, don't share, don't hang up, don't share, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, don't hang up, do you still only want to be like "this person"?
When you don't inspire your partner to give all your love for you, the "nothing" you say will be decided by your disappointment Leave the betrayal! There is no great person who is completely altruistic in the relationship between
. The response of
is too far from his expectations, and the relationship will gradually become alienated until the end when the expected value fails! Any relationship of
is a long-term relationship that is mutually beneficial.
The higher the value of the relationship, the more "reliable".
However, in a relationship, in addition to value, the relationship will be covered with the cloak of "sincerity, heart for heart" because of human emotions.
Any relationship must return to reality in the end! Only in reality can people measure the relationship balance. Relationship exists, because value, the end of the relationship is still the same!
After all, all relationships are conditional! Among the conditions, the most basic one is "existence value".
If you care about a relationship, you must constantly improve your own value in this relationship, and then you will be indispensable!
Everyone has negative emotions. When you are willing to put negative emotions aside, you can not be bound by it. In the end, it depends on whether you are willing to do that!
—End—
Topic discussion: What have you seen in interpersonal relationships? Leave what you want to say in the comment section below!
