Zhu Ziqing wrote in "Silence": "Speaking is a troublesome thing. When you can say less or not, and when you should say less or not, silence is really one of the ways to live longer."
In this life, few people Only by talking more, doing more and being silent at the right time can you live peacefully.
People will inevitably nag in their old age, especially those who live alone. If they do not say a few words all day long, they may become panicked.
There is a saying that goes well: "When you should talk or not, think about it first."
The elderly must learn to think and judge, and do not get entangled in anything or get involved in verbal disputes. The following four words would rather be hidden in your heart than spoken out.
01
No one understands the sadness of the family.
There is a saying in " Sushu ": "An Mo is contented with enduring humiliation; Ji Moji is contented."
In other words, when a person arrives, as long as he can tolerate some things that do not meet his requirements, he can feel at ease. You will be blessed with good luck for the rest of your life.
When you are dissatisfied with your family, it's not that the family is bad, but that everyone's performance and current situation are different from what you expected.
For example, you hope that your daughter will be admitted to a key university and then take the civil service exam in the county. But my daughter refused and insisted on working elsewhere. After struggling for many years, my daughter has no achievements or a family. Therefore, you are very disappointed in your daughter. Whenever you talk about her, you always burst into tears and shake your head.
Writer Haruki Murakami said: "Not all fish will live in the same sea."
Everyone has different experiences, different family situations, and different requirements for children and marriage. Why should you expect someone to Do you understand?
When you pour out your sorrows, outsiders are just laughing. He said a few words of truth and expressed comfort, but they were not what you wanted. Over time, you will become more disappointed with your family, forming a psychological vicious circle.
You know your own sadness best. Whether your family is warm or not is up to you. It's best to give your family a thumbs up every day, just like opening the window and letting the sunshine in.
02
To express one's own superiority is to disparage the weak.
When many elderly people gather together, they will deliberately expose their gold rings , gold earrings, and jade bracelets, and then say: "Look, my daughter bought this. At that time, my daughter was traveling abroad and she took a fancy to it at a glance. I bought this bracelet. Guess how much it costs?"
The people next to me said: "It must be very expensive, it must cost tens of thousands. "
You wear gold and silver, and you look noble, but you often show it off. He himself became impoverished inside.
Not all elderly people have pensions and savings. There are also many elderly people who need living expenses from their children and rely on farming to make a living.
Not all children of old people will be famous and can spend a lot of money to be filial to their parents; it does not mean that all old people have wives and loving husbands and wives...
There is a saying that comparing people to others is very annoying. .
If you live a good life, don't talk about your superiority and make people around you angry.
Some people say: "You don't need to push others to the ground to show your greatness."
Elderly people are ordinary people and have no rank. Your low profile will make you loved by everyone.
03
If you talk about other people’s business, it will cause trouble for each other.
In my hometown, there is such a mantra - "It's so annoying."
When an outsider interferes with one's own affairs, one will dislike "him" in his heart and look at "him" with hatred.
When old people have nothing to do, they will be "concerned". This brings about troubles in interpersonal relationships. If not handled properly, good things will turn into bad things.
Writer Liu Jirong wrote about this incident in the article: During the Winter Solstice Festival, her best friend was forced by her father to go on a blind date. In order to avoid it, her best friend took a ride and went to her house as a guest.
Her mother-in-law looked at it and thought, this girl is pretty good, and she is a perfect match for a certain young man.So, her mother-in-law began to introduce a certain young man, how he looked, what his education was, what his family conditions were, and most importantly, he was single.
The matchmaking words made my best friend very impatient, but she had to respond politely. Her husband had an idea, hid in the bedroom, called and asked his best friend to work overtime.
Don't endure others' suffering, and don't encourage others to do good. Don't use your own subjective assumptions to speculate on other people's lives. Meddling in one's own business is causing trouble. Many times, you don't know what's going on, and even "being fair" seems redundant.
04
If you express your doubts about people, they will inevitably turn into rumors.
"Liezi Shuofu" wrote a story about "the neighbor is suspicious of his axe".
A man lost his axe, and suspected that the neighbor's child had stolen it. No matter how you looked at it, the child looked like a thief. Later, the ax was found in the mountains, and the child didn't look like a thief anymore.
The story tells us not to be blinded by illusions.
In fact, we should analyze the story like this: Fortunately, the person who threw the ax did not express his doubts, otherwise the neighbor would not be able to do it. After all, the neighbor has his children's reputation to repair.
When chatting, we often say two words - maybe.
But after chatting, many people will spread the word and then remove the word "maybe". Over and over again, lies turned into truth, and there was no way to argue.
All doubts should be hidden in the bottom of your heart, and do not talk nonsense. After a while, you will find that your suspicion is wrong, that you have misunderstood others, and that your understanding is biased.
06
" Qi Pa Shuo " has this passage: "When all mankind falls into the deep sea of despair, what saves us is a ship called responsibility. Reason makes us stop crying and grind it into pearls... ”
When people are old, it is impossible not to speak, but they must be good at choosing and take responsibility for their words. If this is not possible, remain silent and be a bystander.
There is a saying that as big as the heart is, the stage of life will be as big as it is.
When an old man's heart is as broad as the sea, any words will seem insignificant, as small as a drop of water.
If you have something in your heart and you don’t know whether to say it or not, then don’t say it.
Matthew effect tells us that good will be better and bad will be worse. The society is very good and the family is very good. There is really no need to drive away all the "good" people around me just because of a few words.
When people reach their old age, they should talk less and say more. A word of kindness will warm them up in the winter.
Author: Commoner.
Pay attention to my words and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.
