Author/Chiyu
In fact, in terms of time, love can be roughly divided into long choice and short choice.
As the name suggests, it is easy to see from the literal meaning that the time span corresponding to long selection and short selection must be completely different.
If a boy is short-term in your relationship from the very beginning, then no matter what you do in this relationship, it will all be in vain. You can't change the ending of separation.
Of course, he will definitely not tell you the truth. After all, he can just find reasons when they separate. In this world, there are too many universal excuses for breaking up, and they are basically used casually. For example, it's not suitable, I don't want to delay you, you can find someone better than me, etc.
Anyway, very few people dare to openly admit their little thoughts in an intimate relationship. Even if they do, they will find some reasons to rationalize it.
Of course, this does not mean that girls are absolutely serious and pure in a relationship. Regardless of boys or girls, human nature is often the same. Faced with different individuals, they are completely different. ethics and standards.
It’s just that our topic today is mainly for girls.
What I want to remind girls is: when a man has these four behaviors, it means that he does not want to be responsible for the relationship, which is accurate.
01. Not even two days after you met, he started to plan the future for you;
A correct relationship basically has a development process, just like planting things, sowing, watering, weeding, and harvesting. This is about The basic process of planting.
Without any seed, it grows into a towering tree in an instant. In the same way, no one's love is full, passionate and brave from the beginning, and can be ignored.
The depth of the relationship between two people ultimately originates from what the two people have experienced with each other in the process of development, how long they have been together, and how many unforgettable and irreplaceable memories they have. The more these things are, the better this relationship will be. The emotional bonding becomes stronger.
Speaking of this, I especially want to correct the whims of some girls in love - They are always in the early stages of a relationship and long for someone who must be them.
For example, a girl came to chat with me two days ago. She told me that some time ago, a boy chased her for almost a month, but she didn't agree to him. As a result, the boy suddenly turned around and chased someone else, and she felt inexplicably uncomfortable. Because a boy once told her that he would wait for her all his life.
To put it bluntly, regardless of whether she likes it or not, she feels disappointed because the boy doesn't have to do it, and at the same time, she thinks that he doesn't mean what he says.
I told her that what she should adjust is her own mentality. Regardless of whether a person is in love in both directions or has an unrequited love, it is normal to say some vows in the relationship, but it is human nature to fail to do so later. There is no need to take these things too seriously. Keep in mind that in the end, the only one who is in trouble is yourself.
You two haven't experienced anything yet. It's really normal for someone to love you very shallowly. It's also normal for you to measure it - From superficial to profound, there is definitely a process of brewing and development. You can't expect to jump to the last step all at once.
So, from this perspective, if a person comes to you too quickly, such as starting to talk about marriage and planning for the future in three to five days, you must not be complacent and think that it is your own charm. Infinity, on the contrary, one should be careful. The most likely possibility is that this person is not serious at all.
What he said and did was just to quickly achieve a certain goal of his own - from another aspect, it can also be proved that he can do this to you and quickly do this to others. Don't think that you are so unique. , how different. In love, only by putting aside this kind of thinking can you avoid falling into some avoidable traps.
02. In the process of dating, I ask you to borrow money or cry out for poverty;
This conclusion is written above: If a boy has good character, correct views, and wants to develop well with you, he will never ask you to borrow money. Money or poverty.
A man cares about face and self-esteem in front of a girl he really likes. He will not easily expose his predicament and weaknesses in the early stages or during the development of the relationship, let alone take the initiative. Go get a range of help.
If he did this, it can only mean that-this was his ultimate goal.
Therefore, he doesn’t mind asking you to borrow money, and may even get emotional because you don’t lend him money. He will blame you in turn, say bad things about you, accuse you of not trusting him, etc. - isn’t this normal? , he paid some emotional value and pretended to please you, which was not his original intention. He was also very tired, so he definitely wanted to achieve part of his purpose quickly.
If the goal cannot be achieved, how can I not blame you? Your efforts will be in vain. The price of his efforts was secretly marked from the beginning.
But despite this, there will definitely be girls who will make mistakes. After all, one of the characteristics of love is its blindness. If you like this person, you can't bear to think too badly about him, and you won't measure him from the most realistic perspective. You would rather believe that he has difficulties and has no choice but to do so.
At the same time, you yourself will continue to use your mind to rationalize his behavior.
So in the end, not only was I defrauded of my feelings, but I was also defrauded of my money.
03. After achieving your goal, your attitude begins to change;
Some girls, facing a relationship, are like doing math problems. Even if you have told her the answer, she still doesn’t believe it and insists on being there. You may calculate a different answer in the middle of the calculation, and then use it to refute the person who gave the answer: Look, let me just say you did it wrong.
In fact, their calculation method is wrong, and the wrong answer will eventually be corrected accordingly, it depends on the time - and this time can be long or short, with no upper limit or lower limit.
Last year, I met a girl through a certain social platform. She chatted with me because she wrote about her love experience. Then I commented and analyzed it, and then she chatted with me privately. Her situation is roughly that after a boy achieves a certain goal of his own, his attitude begins to change sharply. He was originally very enthusiastic, but suddenly he seems to be a completely different person, starting not to reply to messages, being cold and violent, etc.
What's terrible is that at this time, she has fallen in love with him. What's even worse is that the boy is still her first love.
Then, she was particularly entangled in it. For a while, she felt that she should not be entangled with him anymore, it was better to get out in time, and she should forget him. For a while, she felt that she couldn't do it at all, and she couldn't let go.
In this recurring emotion, her love for the boy was a process of increasing, even if the boy did nothing - It turned out that she didn't love him that much, but he suddenly started not replying to her messages. Just crazy in love.
I analyzed her from all angles at that time. I definitely hope that she can stop the loss in time and remind her that if she really wants to continue, she should try her best to protect herself in this relationship and not spend money on the other party... …
What I was thinking at the time was that some people just won’t look back until they hit the wall. The more you persuade her to let go, the more persistent she will become.Moreover, letting go of something often cannot be accomplished overnight. It is not like turning off a faucet and turning off the water all at once. There must be a process of gradual relief in the middle.
It’s just that during this process, you definitely need to take some corresponding measures to avoid falling into it again.
She didn't do it. Until now, she still has not disconnected from the boy, and the boy's attitude has not changed for the better. On the contrary, it has become worse and worse. When she is in a good mood, she can chat with her all night long. When she is in a bad mood, she just ignores her and doesn't Replying to her message felt very casual anyway.
She said that the boy had clearly told her that he would not marry her.
But she still didn't come out.
Love brain This kind of thing cannot be taught to others by teaching principles. Only after you have really suffered and come through it, you will have some insights. You can often teach people once.
04. He will do everything for you;
I have said more than once that the kind of love that spoils you like a child is unreasonable.
What is a child? Children In the inherent thinking of most of us, children mean being taken care of, and it also means that making common sense mistakes can be forgiven. Therefore, when we face children, we always have more patience and tolerance than adults.
But the problem is: you are no longer a child. You are an adult. Adults should have adult rules and principles, and also have an adult way of dealing with each other. The same goes for love.
If two people are already in love, it is normal for them to pamper each other and say sweet words to each other over innocuous little things, especially for emotional girls. I hope that my significant other can give me more love and care. As long as both parties agree with each other, no one else can say anything about these requests. This is a matter between you.
But as the saying goes, things must be reversed when they go to extremes, especially if you can't use this as a standard and requirement to measure the other party before a relationship begins.
If a boy obeys you, relies on you, dotes on you, has no temper at all, and even sometimes you think you are making trouble unreasonably, but he still brings it up, you must not think that he is Because I love you so much, I tolerate you.
Actually, it is more likely: he has given up on you.
Anyway, he is not planning to spend his whole life with you. He has already had new ideas and plans. He has spoiled you rotten. It is none of his business that you are not easy to get along with. Naturally, he will not try to treat you badly. Making corrections will not express his true feelings - this process is more labor-intensive, and he doesn't want to waste these things at all.
is commonly known as " ruins ".
To sum up, you should not unknowingly become the short-term choice of others without knowing it. Everyone's time is precious, so don't waste it on people who are not worthy of it. Therefore, sometimes the choice itself is even greater than the effort. Love is no exception.
-END-
