A fan told me that When she wanted to get back with her ex, she would write down the reasons why the two broke up on paper, thinking about whether these problems have been solved now, so as to warn herself not to be blinded by emotional thinking.
Some fans also told me that has indeed gained a more stable and intimate relationship after reuniting with his ex .
Even if you have done psychological construction when you break up, you will no longer have contact with this person in your future life, but many times at some point, you will have an inexplicable impulse, wanting to click on his circle of friends, see his dynamics, and then jump to the dialog box to send a message.
even thoughts of reunion flashed in my mind at that moment, , but whether to choose reunion is often more cautious than starting a relationship .
When we are struggling with our ex, what should we think about? How to tell whether it is "reunited" or "repeated" to get together again? Is compounding really the best way to solve the problem?
Today, the talented man will talk to you about How to judge whether a relationship can be reunited?
. Think clearly about the reason for reconciliation
Many people contacted their exes after breaking up, or received messages from their exes, and some people contacted multiple exes at the same time, and most of them also received replies.
Actually, wants to rekindle the old love and reunite with his ex, which is also a common phenomenon in intimate relationships .
Two people break up and get back together, both full of negative emotions, which inevitably affect each other. Couples who often break up and get along are full of uncertainty about their relationship. Naturally, their satisfaction with their relationship will be lower. Therefore, when there is a problem with the relationship, they rarely solve the problem in a systematic and effective way.
So before reuniting, ask yourself, what is the reason for reuniting with him? wants to eliminate the pain of breaking up through reunion, or is it because it is afraid of living alone, or does it feel that we still love each other?
Ask yourself seriously: Have both of you seen the problem when you got along? Do you have the attitude and ability to improve and solve? Be prepared to re-invest energy into this relationship?
Recombination is not an impulsive decision, but a choice is made after examination. Only when both parties reach such a consensus can they not repeat the same mistakes after recombination.
. Resolve the conflicts in previous relationships
Think about the reason for your breakup. caused differences due to inconsistent ideas? Is it because there is no sense of security when there is too much separation? Or is it because both parents are not optimistic? Or is there a principled problem?
There was such a couple in my consultation case. During the four years of college, they broke up many times, and the reasons for each breakup were similar. The woman hoped that the man would live according to his wishes, but the man was unwilling to be controlled by others, and no one could convince anyone.
Every time they break up, they feel that the other party is not the most suitable person for them, and they will be reluctant to part with each other because they have a few years of emotional foundation. But after each reconciliation, they had the same pattern of getting along. Because of the same type of problem quarrel, no one was willing to give in and make changes, so they chose to break up after graduation.
Repetition and reunion is a process of exhausting love, and two people who are unwilling to change are not a meaningful thing to waste each other in this inappropriate love.
Combination itself will not make the conflict turn over. Instead, the emotions left over after the breakup will continue to affect each other's lives after the reunion. The premise of reconciliation is that both parties see the problems they had when they were together before and have the ability to solve problems. If this premise is not available, the reconciliation needs to be considered again and again.
Compound is never a natural thing. It requires more effort and effort than determining a brand new relationship. Only with continuous efforts can the result of the compound be satisfactory .
3. Determine whether the complex is worth it
Compound should be a rational decision made by two people after a long period of precipitation and maturity, not just the effect of hormones .
If both parties have the attitude and ability to improve and solve problems and are willing to rebuild a benign intimate relationship, then reconciliation is a good choice.
But it is much harder to manage a relationship after a reunion than to start a new relationship. Love is something that requires time and energy to manage well. Only two people are willing to work together with their patience, listen to their partner's wishes, and have a heart that is determined to change for each other and study hard for them. This is a relationship worthy of reunion.
Love is another name for understanding and considerate .
Love is the embrace of two independent individuals, and it is a matter of one plus one greater than two. A good love is to recognize the other person's value while maintaining one's own dignity, and to make both the other person and yourself a better person .
There are no lovers in this world who have scored full marks from the beginning. Some of them are lovers who have improved themselves step by step because of love.
Some people leave in contradictions, and some people grow in problems. Love is just an empty word, and it is the ones in love that we make it shine.
