I saw this story when I was young, my mother made a fish, and the mother let her son eat the fish and eat the fish head by herself. The son put the fish in his mother's bowl, and the mother said: "My child, I don't like fish, I only like fish head." When the mother was dying, the mother told the child: "Mom doesn't like fish head, she likes fish head. "The son burst into tears suddenly sad.
When I saw this story, I only thought of the greatness of maternal love, leaving all the good things to the children, but no one thought about the feelings of a son who knew the truth. How guilty and guilty he was at that time. . He didn't give his mother what he wanted and made her suffer. How could the mother at that time know that her son didn't like to eat fish heads at the time? The mother just left her son with what she thought was good, without asking her son's needs at the time.
Actually, there are many mothers who love to eat fish head in our family life. They lay down a lot and sacrifice a lot, but their practice is not what children need, such as full-time mothers, Single mothers, accompanying mothers.
Full-time mother
Children especially need the company of their parents when they are 0 to 6, so many mothers choose to be full-time mothers at home when their children are young. Being a full-time mother means making a lot of sacrifices, sacrificing long-term career and career planning, and becoming a mother with no income.
Tell a story that happened around me. Xiaohong is the mother of a three-year-old baby. She is a career-oriented woman who works as a team leader in a foreign company and will soon be promoted to manager. Before the baby was taken by the elderly at home, but now that the elderly cannot take the baby due to her physical condition, she can only choose to be a full-time mother. Her choice was helpless, and she also had a grumpy mood when she was taking children at home. She always said to her children: "You see that your mother has sacrificed so much for you, even if you don't even do the work, you should study hard."
She always emphasizes her sacrifice to the child, which will make the child feel a sense of guilt, It is because of me that my mother is not working, I am not one Good boy. Every time you say, remind your child that he is not a good child. Children need the company of their parents. It is to accompany the child to play and make the child happy, not to remind him of your sacrifice and make her feel guilty.
Single mom
Now that the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, many divorced mothers will choose to remarry and start a whole family. However, some mothers consider that remarried families will harm their children, and choose to stay single and take care of their children alone. Single mothers think this is the best love for their children, but it is not.
Many children want their mothers to remarry, and hope that their mothers can get their own happiness instead of choosing to be single for themselves. Especially when they see their mother working hard to support the family, and when they see her mother carrying rice and gas tanks upstairs, they especially hope that someone can share these tasks for her mother.
In fact, many reorganized families are not bad, they get along very well, and children’s happiness is sometimes better than not. The reorganization of the family is even higher.
"Marry someone or not marry Ma Baonan" This is a popular sentence recently. But have you ever observed what kind of family Ma Baonan mostly appeared in? Most of them appear in single-parent families because they have seen their mothers have paid too much for them. They feel guilty towards their mothers. Out of compensation, they will unconditionally meet the requirements of their mothers.
They chose to obey their mother because of guilt, which is unfair to their significant other. Mother because of the long-termThe child's contribution will have a strong desire for possession and control. The daughter-in-law will have conflicts between husband and wife because of the compromise of the husband.
伴读妈妈
Education is the investment with the greatest return rate. Parents are paying more and more attention to the education of their children, which also breeds many accompanying mothers. In these critical periods of higher education, more and more mothers have accompanied them.
Because it is in the critical period of entering a higher school, they also know that the pressure on students is very great, so they will not remind the children, "My child, I came to accompany you for your sake. You have to take the exam." Although the parents do not say it orally, the parent's behavior to accompany the student will put invisible pressure on the child.
Actually, candidates do not want their parents to accompany them. They have grown up and have their own learning plans. Parents’ accompany reading makes them feel that they are different from other students. They are always reminded of the burden on their shoulders, and their children will feel nervous all the time.
Parents love, children can feel it. Children want their parents to be happy, happy, and happy. When the parents are happy, the children will also feel very happy. When the parents are sad, the emotion you convey is sad, and the children will also feel sad.
Don’t use the banner of being good for you and stand on the commanding heights of morality to demand and control your children. It will make your children feel guilt and guilt. This is just your wishful thinking and not what the child wants.
Don’t think about it, but ask your child to think about it. Before making a major decision, ask your child’s opinion.
