Any relationship cannot blur the sense of boundaries. Only by knowing what to do and what not to do can make both parties feel comfortable. This is especially true between in-laws, because many times the person who can maintain the relationship between the two families well is the young person who is free to love. . Some in-laws obviously don't get along, so there is no chance that they would do something that is not acceptable to the other party because they are too familiar with each other. There are also a few in-laws who already know each other, and the children of the two families are getting married. It’s kiss upon kiss. If you belong to the second situation, you must be careful not to do the following two things, otherwise it may embarrass both families and trigger a series of chain adverse reactions. Let’s take a look:
First, interfere with the children at will Our affairs
After the children get married and start a business, we as guardians have basically fulfilled all our responsibilities. The rest of the days are up to the children themselves. When they encounter anything, the first person they discuss must be the person in their life. The other half under the same roof. Unless young people take the initiative to seek help from everyone, we should not intervene at will even if we are worried. We can give our own opinions and suggestions when necessary, but there is absolutely no position to require children to be obedient.
From the perspective of the other parent, if we are too dominant and have to dictate the lives of the young people, the in-laws will definitely think that we are too nosy. Then when they encounter similar things again, they may respond "tit for tat". After all, parents are biased towards their children. The conflicts between the two parties have accumulated over time. Let alone getting through any difficulties together, when the negative emotions accumulate to a certain level, the two families will completely explode. In this way, children's emotions will also be adversely affected to a certain extent. In real life, there are many examples of couples who have just gotten married and embarked on the path of divorce because their elders can't get along.
Of course, if there are things about children that we parents really can’t stand, we might as well take the initiative to discuss it with our in-laws to see if there is a neutral and good solution. We come to the door with an attitude of solving the problem. I believe that the other party can usually feel our sincerity. It would be great if both parties can really negotiate a better plan.
Second, frequent exchanges
Appropriate distance will produce beauty. No matter how good the relationship between the two parties is and how close they live, the number of exchanges must be controlled. On the one hand, if it is too frequent, even if you work tirelessly, the other party will inevitably be there at some point. You will feel a little tired. Especially those situations where one party clearly has something to do and the other party wants to visit, but refuses due to lack of affection. On the other hand, being worldly does not necessarily make perfect under certain circumstances. There may be times when the things we give do not meet the other person’s wishes, but due to the custom of reciprocity, the other person has to rack his brains to return it. If things go on like this, the original simple relationship between in-laws and family members will easily be dragged down by the gift-giving. Instead of doing this, just communicate when necessary.
