Introduction:
It is said that after retirement, the elderly should do whatever they want and only do things that make them happy. There is no need to care about other people's opinions and ideas, as long as they live comfortably. But I have to say that if some things are really too arbitrary and freely spoken, it is likely to cause disaster. Some words are better to be kept in the stomach. If you say them out, I am afraid the ending will not be very happy. This is the disaster that comes from the mouth. reason.
No matter what age you are, language is an art. People who can talk are welcome everywhere, and those who speak freely can easily offend people inadvertently without knowing it. We elderly people must Pay attention to your words and deeds, and don't ruin the good reputation you built when you were young just because of a quick talk. Try to be as knowledgeable as possible when it comes to speaking. Not only to outsiders, but also to family members, you can't say everything. When you are with your children, When chatting together, be sure to keep silent about these four points, which can save you a lot of trouble.
1, don’t tell the specific amount of the elderly person’s property.
Although children are the closest people to their parents, it does not mean that the elderly can completely rely on their children in their later years. Nowadays, young people are under great financial pressure. If they can take care of them, Their families are already very good, so many old people save money by themselves so that they will not trouble their children and can have a good life in their later years. However, if they tell their children the amount of their savings, there may be consequences. the result of.
Uncle Liu’s wife passed away a few years ago, and he has been living alone since then. Perhaps he has lived alone for a long time and there is no one around to chat with him, so on Uncle Liu’s birthday, he drank some wine , he revealed his true feelings to his children and told them how much savings he had now. Uncle Liu actually did this because he hoped to increase trust with his children, but he did not expect that such a sincere speech would put Uncle Liu's savings at risk.
Ever since their children found out that Uncle Liu was rich, they always found various excuses to ask him to borrow money. They said that their grandson wanted to enroll in a training class, that they had to pay off their mortgage, or that they wanted to buy a new car. Anyway, there were any reasons. From several thousand to tens of thousands, my children have all borrowed money. Uncle Liu also knew in his heart that if he said it was a loan, his children would definitely not pay it back. Uncle Liu felt unhappy, but there was nothing he could do. After all, these were his biological children, and they also knew that they did have money. If they did not help, their children might He would turn against himself, so within a few years, Uncle Liu's savings would be gone.
Once Uncle Liu fell ill and was hospitalized. The doctor told him that he needed to have an operation as soon as possible. Uncle Liu called his children, but they all made excuses, saying that they didn't make much money from work, and kept crying about being poor, saying that they didn't have much money either. easy. In the end, Uncle Liu had no choice but to borrow money from his good friend to have the surgery. However, this experience really made Uncle Liu very disappointed.
Therefore, do not show off your wealth unless you have to, even if it is your children. Human nature is greedy. In the face of money, family affection becomes an object that can be sold. After all, no one dislikes having too much money and seeks benefits and avoids them. Harmful, this is human nature. Elderly people must not tell their children about their financial conditions. Even if they do, they must be reserved and cannot tell them all.
2, even if your children make mistakes, don’t teach them too much.
As the saying goes, “No one is perfect.” Everyone has different personalities, which leads to shortcomings and advantages. When your children make mistakes, just say it once, don’t If you keep nagging endlessly, not only will your children not listen to it, but it will also make them feel disgusted.
Aunt Wang has two daughters. When she was single, she often fell in love. Perhaps the two sisters lost confidence in marriage. They only fell in love, but never settled down and found someone to marry. Many neighbors asked Wang When aunts do ideological work for their children, they always say the same old things: "A woman still needs to have a family," "It's bad for women's reputation," and some say, "I've had so many boyfriends, it's definitely not the case." A good woman."
But Aunt Wang said: "I am old now and can't care about the affairs of young people. Besides, I don't want to get involved too much in my daughter's emotional problems. They just want to fall in love and they haven't done anything wrong that is harmful to nature. Son, children and grandchildren will have their own blessings. I don’t want to care about it, and I don’t want to quarrel with my daughter because of this matter. "
Facts have proved that Aunt Wang's approach is very correct. The two daughters have been choosing men who are really suitable for marriage. Later, they found the right man and they got married naturally. Because they were carefully selected, the marriage of the two daughters They are all very happy and rarely quarrel. Aunt Wang is also blessed. The two sons-in-law are very sensible. Aunt Wang usually lives in two families, and the son-in-law is not bothered. The whole family lives a simple and happy life.
So, the children's life. Let them make their own decisions. Parents can only give ideas and suggestions, but the real decision-making power lies with their children. Do not impose your own ideas on your children, because this can easily make your children rebellious. The more parents do not The more children are allowed to do, the more they have to play in the minefield of their parents. Therefore, for the elderly, selective blindness is the best solution. Stay off your own business and stop nagging. Such sensible parents will be young. People like it.
3, don’t say bad things behind your back about conflicts with your children.
When people get along, they will definitely have conflicts. Even relatives can’t avoid friction. In fact, quarreling is normal. Once you reconcile, it will happen. It's time to change the story. Relatives don't have an overnight feud. Even if there are problems, we should tolerate and understand each other as relatives.
Aunt Zhou was looking sad recently. It turned out that she had a quarrel with her youngest daughter, so she complained to her eldest son, but nothing happened. I remembered that when the family was sitting together for a reunion dinner, the eldest son defended Aunt Zhou, saying that the younger daughter was unfilial and quarreled with his own mother over trivial matters. He also said that the younger daughter had read all the books in vain.
In fact, at that time. The reason for their quarrel was boring, because they had a few arguments about the ingredients for cooking. But the next day, the younger daughter apologized to Aunt Zhou, saying that she had a bad attitude yesterday and asked Aunt Zhou to forgive her.
Ke Zhou. The aunt is a fast-talking person, so she complained a few times to her eldest son that night. Unexpectedly, her eldest son took it seriously, so she quarreled with her younger daughter. At that time, the younger daughter's eyes were red and she said: "Mom, wasn't I Have I apologized to you? Why do you say bad things about me behind my back? Even if I did something wrong, there is no hatred between mother and daughter. You treat me like this. It really chills me. "
Aunt Zhou was so embarrassed by what her little daughter said, but it was too late to regret it. Later, her little daughter got really angry. She always spoke politely to Aunt Zhou, and she was no longer like before. Lively, this kind of performance made Aunt Zhou very sad. Aunt Zhou said: "I blame myself for being a quick talker. Now my daughter doesn't dare to be her true self in front of me. I was really wrong!" "
In fact, when relatives quarrel, as long as the problem is discussed, the conflict will disappear the next day. This is an internal problem within the family. There is really no need to ruin the reputation of your children over a trivial matter. The family is not a reasonable place. Don't Just focus on distinguishing right from wrong, and forget that family is a symbol of warmth.
4. Don’t tell your children too much about how you spend your money.
Old people can make their own decisions about how they want to spend their money. It's the old man's own business. There is no need to talk too much to his children. As long as the money is used for serious things, the old man can decide where to use the money. Uncle Qin's wife in the
community passed away many years ago. I found a remarried wife. Uncle Qin loves her very much. Even though his remarried wife has no pension and poor financial ability, Uncle Qin is still willing to live with her. The reason is that the new wife is a very virtuous woman and usually does housework. It was my wife who took the responsibility, and she also understood Uncle Qin's thoughts very well and was a qualified listener. Uncle Qin's life was very smooth because of the arrival of his new wife.
Because of this, Uncle Qin is willing to give his new wife 3,000 yuan a month. In addition to the daily expenses of the two of them, the remaining money will be used as the other party’s pocket money. Uncle Qin feels that since he has married her, It is also appropriate to spend some money on the other person, so when chatting with my son, I accidentally mentioned this matter.
Unexpectedly, his son was not a sensible person. He felt that Uncle Qin was deceived by his new and old companion, and said that his new and old companion was just trying to get Uncle Qin’s money. For a long time, Uncle Qin’s son often came to the house to make trouble. , all the neighbors next to me knew about it.
The new wife felt aggrieved, so she separated from Uncle Qin. Uncle Qin was very angry about this and cut off the relationship with his son. So far, Uncle Qin's old age has been miserable, with no one around to accompany him, and he can't even talk to him. There was no one around and it was so lonely.
Therefore, the elderly can spend their own money however they want, as long as they are happy. There is really no need to talk too much to their children, because they don’t know whether their children have selfish motives. If they often disturb their lives because of this, they will spend their old age. Very bad.
If you want to live well in your later years, the way you get along with your children is also very important. Keeping silent on these four points when getting along with your children is also leaving a way out for yourself. It can also reduce a lot of troubles in your later years. Do you agree? Welcome to leave a message and comment.
